Need Advice with Baby Coping with Separation Anxiety

Hi N.,

I had a live in sitter for 1yr for my two children and at first they seemed weary and skeptical so I was extremely nervous. A friend of mine advised me to have the sitter come visit for an hour at a time two weeks before she started working. I did this and it was very helpful also because I was able to be there when she was and could introduce her to my "system" and routines! By the end of the time the children were excited about her coming and that ended all anxiety for me! Your daughther may still cry when you leave for work but that is normal. Make sure the first day you do your usually calling and checking in with the sitter. As time progresses your daughther will get more used to the sitter and you'll feel more comfortable.

Good Luck & let me know how it goes.
~ J.

Is there any way that you can have the new sitter and the relative meet together with your daughter. I feel that this way your daughter can see that the both of them get along even if it is for a brief cup of coffee. There are times that children will tend to embrace a stranger in the company of someone that they feel confortable with. Its like meeting a friend of mommy or auntie. Exchanging ideas and or experiences with your childs sitter is always best.

Its a time factor. My daughter at 2 still does it. But I would rather my child be cautious than readily available to anyone. So I just explain to people she is shy, it will take some time but once she gets to know you it will be fine. Good luck! Jen

Make a time to have her over before she starts watching her. Invite her over on a Saturday or for lunch one day so your daughter has time to get to know her. That should help.

I suggest having the sitter come over sometimes before she starts working for you and just hang out with you until your daughter gets used to her. It might only take a few visits. I have a 15 month old girl with the same problem and that's what I've done and it's worked. Good luck!!!

Chances are that she will not cry the whole day that you are gone. However, it may help if she could spend time with you and the new caregiver before. Maybe even take her to the caregiver for a little while before you are gone the whole day. I would not show my own concern in front of her - I know it is hard leaving though. When I would leave my own son, I said goodbye and did not give any impression that it was some new, scary or wary thing. I think this helped him. Another thing was that he immediately started in with another activity to sort of distract from the whole "Mommy is leaving". Also, we kept our goodbye ritual the same. The consistancy of our routine made him feel secure it seemed, since he knew what to expect; we say goodbye and he began breakfast with the sitter and at a certain time Mommy came back. It may take time, but it will be okay. Separation anxiety is not a bad thing - most everyone goes through it and it shows that you have really attached with your daughter.

Hey. I don't know if this would help, but my son was sort of like that also. It helped if I told relatives and strangers to take it easy. With a little one, people tend to get right up in their faces. A friend of mine was meeting my little guy for the first time and completely acted like she had been his buddy for a while, and he was very very easy going w/ her. Those who were nonchalant with him put him at ease the fastest. Make sure she has an activity ready right away. Try not to drag on your goodbye either. Also, if you have time, take a quick picture of the new sitter and try to familiarize her face/ name with your daughter. It can be a fun game either way. You can mix it w/ other familiar faces in pics. You have. Play the name game…..