I recently logged on to facebook and decided to look at my 11 year old Sons page. And a girl(same age) posted a few sweet sayings on his page. "I love you so much" , "i will never forget you" , you know, things like that. My Son has never even mentioned anythinv about liking a girl, then again, he lives with his dad so im not in his life like i should be. So i sent him a text and said, " so this girl, -her name- shes a little cutie pie huh. He responded fast and said, "yup". I told him he could talk to me about anything. Then he asked me, " whaf if the girl wants to hang out with you but shes always with her friends"?
What should i say?
that hanging out with her AND friends is just how it ought to be! that's what 'liking' each other should mean at this age.
khairete
S.
Tell him 'Great! Everyone needs their friends!' and 'No one on one dating till you are 16'.
11 is fine for having crushes but too young for dating and rushing into steady relationships (way too many kids do this).
The drama and bad feelings when breaking up are just not handled well at this age.
Like Suz said, tell him "perfect! At 11, you can all hang out as a group, hang with the girls and your buddies too!"
It's never to early to start conversation. My thoughts when my kids were young (now 29 and 25) were I would rather my kids here the correct way of doing things verses their friends version on what is right or wrong. I would tell him it is fine to have more friends, but to be honest 11 is young to allow anything more. Too much drama to handle at that age. On the other hand as parents we do not always have control on what goes on when you arent around. I think at his age I would have "the talk" with him if you haven't already. This way he is given the knowledge he needs to make good decisions for now and in the future. Kids today are sooooooo much more advanced, and know soooooo much more than we think they do!! So he could already be hearing different things from his friends. It sounds like you have a great open relationship with your son, he wouldn't be my worry, it would be the influence of other children on him. That was always my motovation to talk to my kids before anyone else did!!! Good luck!!
Crushes don't last long at this age. Tell him school is your main job right now in life. I'm glad you like her, but it is best if you are just good friends and you hang out with her and her friends all together in a group. You are not old enough for a girlfriend yet, but she can be your friend! My son gets major crushes and told me he had a girl friend last year (he was 9). They would sit together on the bus. He said to keep it a secret from his friends bc they would all tease him. So, I basically told him what I said above. This year he doesn't even mention her. She has come over with two other friends recently and they all practiced their dance for the talent show. I don't think my son has a crush any more bc he kind of ignored them the whole time.
He's so young. But, kids do begin to "like" each other then.
I like the idea that school is important and hanging out in a group is ok !
When u r 18, you can have a girlfriend.......
Thank you All for your advice. I actually needed to hear everyword you all had to say.
I have one more question. Ii
Do you think he will kinda close up on me if i tell him "no girlfriends". I just dont want him to start feeling like he doesent want to tell me anything else again. He already does not live with me and i dont know what i would do if i couldent even conversate with him.
