My ex and I have shared custody. We both have provided a full household for our son, so he doesn't need to pack and bring things back and forth, other than a few items like his backpack, and uniforms. Regular clothes, shoes, and toys are supplied by each parent.
My son had 2 ipods at my ex's house, and he has one at my house. Now he has lost both ipods at his dad's, and he wants to bring mine back and forth between households. He is six. I understand he should be responsible for his things, but think that these ipods got lost because his dad isn't responsible and leaves the entire responsibility to the six year old and he also lets him bring them in the car, to restaurants, etc. Where in my home the ipod is just for home use. I don't want to let him take this item back and forth because if it is lost or damaged, I cannot replace it.
Is it mean for me to just say no?
Thank you for your responses. I agree that my son should be responsible for his things, and I also realize that because he is six, I can "help" him be responsible by reminding him to put things away, etc. However when married to his dad, his dad relied on me for keeping track of all his stuff from his work keys to checkbook. So while my son has never lost items at my home and I actually think he is pretty responsible for 6, he seems to lose a lot of items at his dad's including a bike! Dad had kiddo call to see if he could bring the ipod back and forth, which put me on the spot. I told kiddo I would have to think about it. When he gets home I will tell him it is something that stays here. Thank you for all your input. PS the ipod at my house was a hand me down and I agree it is CRAZY that he had 3!
If he is 6 and is losing iPods with the expectation that he will just get another one, what is it going to be like when he is older?
With 2 lost? Nope.
Sorry, he needs to spend his time at dads looking for the lost ones if he wants one over there.
I am honestly amazed that a 6 year old had 3 Ipods to begin with. LOL
I think, since the child has lost 2 of them, that I would not allow him to carry the third around. He is not old enough to be responsible for things that are that expensive - don't blame it all on the Dad - your son is just too young.
My 10 year-old daughter goes between two households every three days. She has a backpack to keep her things in and is allowed to take almost anything she wants between our houses. So far, she hasn't lost anything significant, but doesn't own any electronics or anything of much monetary value.
A six year-old owned three iPods?? Wow, just say no...
Uh no. 3 Ipods really? No!
Is it mean? Yes - in your son's eyes!
Is it good parenting?? YES!!!
He's six for gosh sakes - tell him it stays at your house, end of story!
At least this way he'll for sure have it. If he takes it and loses it, then he'll have none!
Good luck!!
say NO NO NO NO NO NO Over my dead body. When pigs fly.
"Mean" has nothing to do with anything. It's called parenting.
Nope - ipod stays at your place. If he hasn't lost the one at yours, then dad has to deal with it at his. It's not mean, it's a life lesson.
I say no. Natural consequence. You've lost 2 at his house so now you only have the 1 at this house. Sorry.
And it's not mean. It's parenting. :)
No, say no!
When my husband and I purchase an expensive item for my son, it stays in our home. For the exact same reasons!
At 6 he is a little young to be expected to not lose an i pod if he's allowed to take everywhere.
Put your foot down!
I would in no way let him go lose another one. He is showing he is not able to manage keeping track of anything. At this age I think it's my responsibility to remind the kids to get all their stuff when they have stuff like that. But I do not let them take them out of the car at all when they are using them in it. They stay in the car.
No, I would say this iPod has to stay at your house so it doesn't get lost.
No you are not unreasonable at all. Our IPod is policed by me as well. It is appropriate for you to say that it stays at home. End of story.
No. If he lost dad's ipod and Dad wants to replace it, so be it. If dad says tough luck, tough luck. I would NOT send the one from your house back and forth.
No it is not mean for you to say no. He lost two of them at dad's house - chances are if this one goes to dad's it's going to get lost as well.
Rules are rules. If you stick to your guns, it will help him to become more responsible at dad's because he is learning that dad is not the example to follow and that if he really wants to keep his stuff and have stuff there to use, it is going to be up to him to keep up with them.
My GD's DS got lost at her mom's. I did get her a new one, but she is not allowed to take it to her mom's anymore.
I'd say no. There is no way a 6 year old can replace a lost ipod on their own and considering he's lost two at your ex's and obviously your ex isn't going to replace those... when he does lose this third one guess who'll be replacing it.
I'm guessing not your ex! So if you are willing to buy the forth Ipod go for it I guess.... if not I'd say nope that stays in this house. It's already a rule you set forth anyways why change it now.
I'd say that the iPod you have purchased for him doesn't go out of the house.
If he does take it out, no replacing it.
However, I'll say this.... if he had so many, he will not value them. I'm thinking that it's a good lesson for kids to learn to keep track of their things. Perhaps your son's dad DID say "if you want to bring that thing, it's your responsibility to take care of it".... I don't know.( Aren't they supposed to be talking to each other at restaurants, anyway? I digress...) I'm not sure that it's the parent's job to always keep track of what kids want to bring along. Perhaps you need to assign more responsibility to your son for what happened and to keep track of his valuables...?
I personally don't give my child things that I must become responsible for. I think your call to keep the iPod at home is a good one.
