Need Advice - Miles City,MT

You should feel good about this. You have obviously picked a good roll model for your boys, and thats important. If I was your boyfriend I would be proud to have them call me dad, and to know that they except him as their second dad. I came from a split up family also, when i was a year and a half my dad married my step mom. I have to say she has been more of a mother to me then my own. I also have two step children, and I have been helping raise the teenage daughter for almost four years now. She doesn't call me mom, but sometimes it slips and she does. It feels good.. I know I will never take the place of her mother, but to know she cares, well that makes it all better. I don't know if this helps but Just let your boys decide what they want. Happy holidays
chris

I think that your boys need to do what feels natural to them. But make sure that what they are calling your boyfriend is ok with everyone!

my children are 7 and 5 my husband and i got married in june and after we got married they started calling him dad, it dont help that thier real dad isnt in thier lives, he only sees them MAYBE 3 times a YEAR so if your kids feel that they want to call him dad i say let them, i let mine call thier step dad dad. its in thier hearts so let them go with it.

it's a word of respect , in my opinion. there are plenty of bio kids who don't refer to their mom/dad as such because of lack of respect for them. you don't have to be related to consider someone family. even if the boyfriend isn't comfortable with being called that, you should let your son know it's ok and not to take it personally. let them both know it's ok. he can still have respect for him with out calling him dad on a daily basis.
i would say you all three sit down and see what every one is comfortable with. and maybe even out of respect for 'the dad,, the boyfriend might choose not be called 'dad'. some people see that shoudl only be used for bio dads.
using or not using a certain word to address someone doesn't change the love/respect/kindness/consideration someone has for another and vice versa..

As long as your sure that its ok with your boyfriend I dont see a problem my step dad was the first person i had called dad in a long time we were closer that my mom and I. If thats how your son feels then go with it I say. My stepdad passed away a couple of years ago and I miss him everyday. He was my daddy and the saying is true anyone can be a father but it takes a special person to be a daddy

Hi L.:

You know what, I totally understand where you're coming from on this one. But personally if your son feels that comfortable with your boyfriend, I encourage him to call him dad if he wants to. He apparently needs that relationship with him. And if his dad does not have that closeness with him and your boyfriend does, more power to you!! I am remarried and my husband is raising my boys and thank goodness because their dad doesn't have a relationship.
Your son wanting that relationship with your boyfriend is just going to make yours and your boyfriend's relationship that much stronger. Praise God that you found a man that your boys like and even love!!
God bless you!
T.

if both parties are okay with it, then I'd just go with it. You can never have too many father figures that you trust enough to attach a fond psuedonym.

My dad got remarried and even though he stressed that we shouldn't refer to our step-mom as mom (out of respect for our mom), we still considered her the next best thing.

I say as long as your boyfriend is okay with your son calling him "Dad" and your son is okay with it, then you should allow it.

My husband has a son from his first marriage but he lives in another State several hours away from us. His mom remarried when he was 3 and he calls his step-dad, "Dad" but he knows that my husband is also his Dad and calls him Dad too.

My son is also 16 and my husband and i have been married 5 yrs my son chooses to live with his real father and has asked to call my husband dad since he is 12 i told him to disscuss that with my husband and they both felt comfortable with it. My ex did not like it at first but now calls my husband for help when our 16 yr old acts up. so my opinion is let that be up to your son and your husband at 16 he understand the differences and its what his heart wants that should be important, at least he like my son still love his father even tho he now has a dad as well.