Need Advice - Washington, DC

Updated on March 31, 2008
M.P. asks from Eugene, OR
5 answers

I am about to become the "mom" of 6 teenage boys. They are obviously not my biological boys and I am not adopting them... I am going to be parenting them in a family style environment / home and they may stay for a few months to a few years. My husband and I are to parent them and treat them as our own... I am excited and nervous! Any advice as to how to manage a household with 7 males? I know cooking will be important but anything you can share would be helpful! Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Well, it has been 6 months and things are going well! My husband abtually took over the role of "Chef of the House" which has been great! Each boy has a room with no more than 2 to a room and we have a system that works for chores, addressing concerns and having fun!

Thanks for all the reponses!

M.

www.successfuldiligence.net
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More Answers

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S.F.

answers from Washington DC on

Get a few books on teenage puberty. Pass them out to them and read them yourself. Sit down and talk about it after everyone has read them. Let them know everyone is going through something new, something puberty and make it an open relationship from the start.

Laugh as often as you can and put things in perspective.

Relax and have fun! I will pray for you M. P.

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T.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi M.,
I work in the Social service arena too. Also grew up in a household where my father brought in several boys to live with us. I think that it is important to review rules for the home. Expected chores, curfew, homework, church, guests etc. Find a balance between expressing these rules and letting them know they are there b/c you all care. Allow them to express their desires for rules and life in your home too. It is great when everyone can feel they have a forum for communication and family time. I pray everything works out
TG

P.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Wow. Kudos to you and your family for being there for these boys. Boys need father figures badly, so see if there is anyone else besides your hubby to step into that role. Maybe a youth pastor or youth sports coach. You named it, FOOD! Have healthy snack options readily available, if you are not a member to Costco or BJ;s or Sam's Club, get a membership now. That way you can save by buying a lot of food! Also make your house a "hub". A place to attract these boys' friends, make your home the hangout. I've talked to a lot of teens who are "bored" on the wekends and end up just hanging out at the mall or at playgrounds or whereever at night! So with snacks, and some movies and games your place will be the one to go to! You might think, but I don't want more kids here!?!?! Well, first you'll know that the boys are at a safe place and you can get to know their friends. You can be the best influence in their lives! God Bless you and yours for doing this.
Oh, boundaries. Definately want to set up rules and clear consequences for those rules that are broken.
Have a chore chart, everyone wants to feel like they belong. Belonging to a family unit is great, so if someone does not do their part they do not get to reap the rewards of the family unit. I agree with the other response in knowing if they have any emotional or bahavioral problems. That could help you out. Good luck and let us know hwo the family's doing.

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A.L.

answers from Washington DC on

WOW. You must be a saint.
I agree with M. that knowing of any previous problems is important. You definitely want to know what you are bringing into your home, especially if your have any children of your own.
I don't have a lot to offer, having never been in this situation, but I did grow up in a house full of boys (I had four brothers). I think giving your charges responsibilities around the house will help with the household running smoothly. Not huge things, but even just requiring everyone to pitch in with cleaning, laundry, yardwork, dishes, maybe even cooking, would teach them the value of work (which they won't appreciate until they get out on their own :) and maybe even teach them some skills that they have never discovered. Maybe getting that many adolescent boys with varied backgrounds to contribute in this way is a tall order, but it's worth giving a shot!
Good luck with everything!! I'd love to hear how it's all going!

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi - SAHM of 3 and former SPED teacher...do any of these teens have other issues that might be helpful to know before offering advice? (Emotional, family, drugs/alcohol, etc)Do you have space to give each their own room? Will they walk to school? Do you have any children of your own, do you have pets? I'd feel more qualified to give advice with a bit more background.

You sound adventurous - Good luck!
Wishing you the best,
M.

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