Hi Moms,
My son will turn 3 at the beginning of May.
Since the last 5-6 days, he has changed a lot.
He would have melt-downs for insignificant reasons (because he didn't get to open the door for a guest, because he pressed H instead of I on the keyboard...) Each time, he seems just inconsolable. He would cry and cry and once better would begin again if something reminds him of the issue. The only way to have him settling down is to put him to bed. He rests for 5-15 minutes and comes back happy. We also had 2 tantrums over the week, which is exceptional for him.
It's like if suddenly he cannot cope with to much emotions/feelings.
Other changes;
He eats much more and particularly craves apples and prunes.
He wakes up cranky.
He naps earlier and seem generally more tired.
On Sunday, he complained about pain in his knee in the morning but it had gone by the afternoon.
Then, on Monday night, he had stomach pain, again only for a couple of hours.
No other symptoms of illness (pale, red, fever, swollen...)
Nothing in his life has changed. I work from home, so I can hear him all day and know for sure when something happens. The nanny also noticed the change of course and she think he may just be a growth spurt.
Do children have growth spurts around 3? Do growth spurts have these effects also on emotions and feelings?
He will have his 3-year old physical check up in less than 2 months. Should I contact the pediatrician earlier?
Thank you very much for all your support and advice.
It was indeed a growth spurt and he grew a lot! After one hard week he is back to his "normal" self.
We do love him, and show him lots of love and attention. We've always taught him how to express his feelings and he could sign before he could speak, so communication has never been a big issue. This may be the reason why we have been blessed with so few tantrums and so surprised when they came! I was also shocked that all my usual techniques wouldn't work (hugs, redirection, showing understanding and validating his feelings)
This last week has been "back to normal" or nearly back to normal. One thing that still set him off (but not to the extent of the full melt-downs of the previous week) is the lack of control. He now understands that they are some things and events that neither him or us (parents) can control. We cannot change the past and undo what was done. We cannot repair or fix everything. He figured that out and still has a hard time with it. But, I'm relieved that I don't have a helpless, crying, inconsolable toddler anymore. I can talk to him and assist/help him when he gets confused or worried.
Thanks again for your support.
They don't call it the "tantrum threes" for nothin! My son did that exact thing at around 3-1/2. Especially transitions were hard for him. Total meltdown from a kid who never had true meltdowns. It lasted about 6 months and then he's back to almost normal (one every few months). The thing is that you have to win these. He is testing his limitations and seeing who is in charge. Hang tough and this too will pass!
Yes, he's 3 now. Yes, it is a growth spurt.
Yes, at EACH age juncture or on the cusp of an age change... it can really tweak a child.
No, the "emotions" of a child, is not even fully developed yet.. nor understood by them completely yet, nor are they "able" to master their emotions NOR how to cope with it.
So, they need us, to help them. Help him by teaching him the "names" for feelings and how to tell you how he feels. Thus, he will learn how to communicate and express himself well, as he gets older. Building articulation about himself and self-awareness.
Yes, they do still need naps at this age. Even Kindergarten kids nap. It also helps their brain development and moods.
Yes, a "growth-spurt" ALSO means changes in: motor-skills, cognition, emotions AND their physical growth.
So they have MANY things on their plate now... that is affecting them and that they are adjusting to. So, at times when they are having trouble wallowing through it... they have us, to help them.
When my son is like that... I don't scold/punish him for it... for growth changes or misunderstandings or when i know he is TRYING to handle something himself but is frustrated. But I tell him he is learning, he is changing and I will help him... but for him to tell me how he feels... and Mommy will help. But we are family and we talk nicely... to try his best. BUT... its okay to feel "grumpy" sometimes because adults do, too. So, I tell him "we are a team..." and he likes that... then he feels he isn't the only one... kind of thing.
3 is a harder age than 2.
Him having 2 tantrums over the week... is not much!
The book series: "Your 3 Year Old" is also great. Its about each age juncture and what THEY go through. Its a quick read. Although written years ago.... it is still pertinent and enlightening. They have a book for each age set. You can get it from www.amazon.com
And yes, when he has his check-up, ask the Doctor about his "pains" unless you take him in earlier, just to rule out illness.
All the best,
Susan
Hi
I have three kids 12, 11 and 5. I don't want to scare you and while I agree that your son could be going through a growth spurt I would encourage you to have his blood sugar tested. He has a few of the signs of diabetes. We recently went through some of the exact same symptoms with our twelve year old and I told myself the same thing- growth spurt, development change, etc., etc. My instinct told me something was wrong but I continued to explain it away. If I had listened to my gut I would have gotten him tested and saved him from getting seriously ill. We have only known for about two weeks.
A blood sugar test is a simple finger poke. Some of the signs of diabetes are lethargy, being tired more often, hungry all the time, muscle and joint pain (this was a big one for our son), stomach pain, more thirsty and peeing more frequently, bedwetting and cranky/behaviour changes. Sometimes kids will be shaky and sweaty as well. If you suspect this or he has more than just the symptoms that you previously mentioned, please don't wait-get him tested now. Like today.
I sincerely hope that this is just a phase for your son and it very well could be, but if your instinct is telling you that it may be something more, please listen to it. Our son is ok now and we are learning to manage and deal with this disease. There is a lot of information and support for diabetes. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to contact me.
Some kids skip the terrible twos and go right to the terrible threes. It's a growth spurt on all levels and they get frustrated when they can't quite communicate exactly what they want to get across. As communication (and vocabulary) improves, the temper tantrums and frustrations level off. My son started having tonsils trouble at this age, but not every child has this at this age and some never have trouble with them. I'd make a list of questions for the next check up, but I don't think you need to make an earlier appointment at this point.
Definitely sounds like it could be a growth spurt. It causes pain, lack of good sleep ... and we all know how our kids get "weepy" when they don't get good sleep.
Have you tried giving him ibuprofen?
It sounds like is going through a growing spurt.
Also many people think there are terrible 2's, but some kids have the terrible threes. Help him learn to take a breath when he thinks he is "frustrated, angry, or confused" about what his feelings are.
Just hang in there and give him the words and look for what seems to set him off. Then use some of this information to help HIM avoid these melt downs.
I am sending you strength and patience.
He sounds like a pretty normal kid for his age, unfortunately for you. I always say Threes are more terrible than twos. He probably is growing, but he is probably also just maturing and figuring out what he can control and worrying a bit about what he can't. If you keep his days more structured/ predictable than not and if you encourage quiet activities for the time of day when he seems to be crankiest, that should help. Also, try moving his bed time earlier by 10-15 minutes. If he is waking up cranky, he's probably tired. My now 3 1/2 year old takes FOREVER to wind down at night, so if we put her to bed earlier she will have a longer quiet time before sleep. Since you mentioned stomach pain, it is possible that he has a food allergy... but then again, prunes can make you gassy and crampy, so maybe it's that. It sounds to me like he is just tired. Last thought: could he be getting molars? Good luck!
I agree with the other moms about the growth spurt. I think it will pass. Some children get overwhelmed at times,just like we do. I think time alone to decompress is a great idea. Sometimes all I need is 5- 10 min as well as my children. I like to say 3 is the new 2.
my daughter divine turned 3 in january so i know what you going trow she did it all and still some time do. its all normal for the age group the best thing to do is "dont get mad" talk to him u have to make sure he is looking at u when u tell him anything or they just dont hear u. at this age a nad should be for no more then 45 mins or there get moody. he will pick up on thing that other people say hurt and use it when he dont want to do something just kiss it and send him on his way if it realy hurts the kiss wont work. no need to call the doctor he's just trying to fiuger out who he is.
I think it's a growth spurt. They still occur in my 7yo and the main signs are eating more and sleeping more or needing to get more sleep, and sometimes growing pains in his legs especially.
The irritability/emotional upsets can easily be caused by being too tired? He has a lot going on with his body/mind right now that processing other(normal) stuff is harder
I would just let him sleep as much as he can, feed him as well & as often as you can (don't worry, growth spurts usually last just a few days) and just hang in there. Soon you'll see physical and/or developmental growth, it's pretty exciting and amazing to me.
If it lasts longer than 1-2 weeks though, I'm not sure it's a growth spurt. (But I doubt that would last too long)
Sounds like a growth spurt to me. My little girl wakes up in the night with her knees in awful pain. It just happens when she is growing. She also gets very tired and eats like crazy during these times (which have been sporadic, it seems like there is no set time for growth spurts), so a lot of your symptoms seem pretty familiar to me. Growing hurts, it's not a bad idea to give him some tylenol when he's particularly feeling achy. I would talk to your pediatrician just to be sure though. You can always call the office and just ask. I wouldn't worry too much, it sounds pretty normal to me. Good luck!
my daughter had a big growth spurt at three, and also wrestled with some behavior issues that we had never dealt with before. For us, it was a combo of her wanting to be more independent, but also copying her baby brother's behavior for attention. Spending one on one time with her to bond and help her feel more secure seemed to help a lot.
I would say this is a growth spurt, and yes they can get emotional when things don't go perfectly. My son went through periods like this and when he was 3 he could go through a bag of apples in less than 2 days.
My Dear; you have now entered the twilight zone of toddlers! As the mother of 5 and the grandmother of many let me just say that the drama years can be just as bad for some boys as they are for girls. There are changes and expectations going on that they may not understand and go from 0-60 in a heartbeat as you have described. I have to say that these really were my favorite years 2 1/2 to 4 becasue my children and now grandchildren are so emotional and creative at the same time. Leaving babyhood and becoming a little person is a hard job! My granddaughter had incredible pains in her legs and the pedi. doc. said that it was from muscels and ligaments stretching so we used a heating pad to help. I have one son that suddenly hated to be in his bedroom alone so after redecorating,painting and even getting a new bed I finally learned that he was scared he was missing out on something by being apart from us. This is just a precurser of things to come so don't panic andsavor the moments when tings will go right for both of you.
Hi there,
I have a soon to be 4 year old that went through some similar changes soon after he turned 3. I agree with a lot of the previous posts in that 3 has been a challenging age for us. But we also discovered that my son has an intolerance for gluten and eliminating gluten from has diet has made a remarkable difference in his attitude, demeanor, impulsiveness, etc. Maybe keep track of his diet and exposure to various elements (gluten, dairy, pollen, mold, etc) to see if there is a correlation between foods and/or environmental elements and spikes in behavior. We had a homeopathic doctor help with the diagnosis.
Good luck!
Ear infection? Our son had his first when he was three and was like that. It went on for a few days and we couldn't figure it out at all because he didn't have any symptoms of anything. However, he woke up one more with his ear draining fluid and we finally figured it out. He had no obvious signs otherwise.
3 is a very tough time... my 3 year old went through crazy tantrum spells!
It could be a growth spurt. My kids tend to eat and sleep more when a growth spurt is coming on. The knee pain could be from that too.
The emotional changes could be an effect of it as well, since he is feeling uncomfortable and tired.
I would mention it to your doctor when you go in.
And anytime there is abdominal pain you should call the doctor.
Emotions and feelings develop and get affected from the moment we are born. All behavior is normal. At this age, he is simply developing and becoming independent and wants to be helpful and feel important - very natural and a good sign of emotional development. He wants his needs met and feels frustrated when not met in his way. He does not yet know how to cope and is simply exhibiting frustration in a way best known to him. All this is not melt down, tantrums, or cranky behavior.
From the moment we are born,we have three needs to love, be loved, and be valued. He is asking to get his needs met and seeking ways to get attention. Acknowledgment, validation, and gentle redirection may help. I found the following books very helpful.
-Raising your spirited child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
- How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Best,
-Rachna
Sounds like he's overly tired. Not only do growing kids need a lot of sleep, but their sleep needs can change as they grow. My four year old son gets like you're describing sometimes (irritable, super sensitive etc) and I've found increasing his sleep gets him back on track in a matter of a day or two. Especially since you've said resting for ten minutes or so helps him, I think this is definitely a sleep issue. Try moving his bedtime and naptime earlier by a half hour or so and let him sleep until he wakes up on his own.
Hope this helps,
T.
Ask his pediatrician if you're truly concerned about his behavior, but it sounds like he may be going through a growth spurt.
