Naptime and Bedtime Struggle

Oh gosh, I went through this too. My oldest, now almost 5 yrs., still hates to nap. Tried everything. She is a spirited child and sensitive to sounds, although she is a good child. Just more highly tuned to environmental things. But hates naps, or bedtime. As she got older though, she started to go to bed on her own volition and would actually say "I'm going to bed." I totally know what you are going through. I literally went nuts, putting her to bed or nap. I really did not look forward to this part of the day, it was so stressful and exhausting.Also, though, as kids get older, they start to forgo naps. But at your boys age, they still need a nap, for their own good or they get so fussy and too tired as the day wears on. If they are in school, they have naps. One thing that did help...is that I would give my girl an 'incentive'. If she napped or went to bed when we said, she could have a certain privilege or toy or special play time etc. So, she had something to look forward to when she woke up. If she didnt', then she didn't get the privilege afterward. And we stuck to that. And also, sticking to a routine everyday. It would literally take me 1 hour or more... to get her to nap, or work up to the bedtime period where she is actually IN bed, and closing her eyes. My husband would even have to lend some help in getting her to sleep. I have a 11 month old as well, so naps are so important to ME, and the kids sanity. The older one is harder to put down. Thankfully, my baby is totally acceptable to having a set 'bedtime' and nap time. Yelling, letting them cry it out, giving them incentives, standing guard in their room until they fell asleep and stayed in bed... done it all. I know it's tiring and not fun at all. But every kid has a 'price'....something that will mean enough to them so that you can get them to do it. Sometimes, I would tell my daughter that it's MOMMY'S nap time... and then I would lay down on the couch and tell her she has to have quiet time or nap too.... Because Mommy is not available to play with her. Then I would lie down on the couch, and get my rest with one eye open while my baby naps. I also EXPLAINED to her very clearly, what HER actions does to others, and how it makes me feel sad when she fights about sleeping. To teach her empathy, and thinking about other's feelings. They have to learn the world does not revolve around them. She understood that. It makes her think twice, before she starts arguing about having to go to sleep. Try it. It worked for my daughter. Every child is different. Good luck.

Hi B.,

What has helped us in putting our son to bed is a ritual. Get your son ready for bed early: around 7:30-8:00pm. Bathe him in a lukewarm water and put on his pjs. Read a story about going to bed..."Goodnight Moon" or putting on music helps too. My son has been listening to classical music since he was in my tummy :) Maybe purchasing little night light will help too. They have these new ones where stars or animals will appear on the ceiling...I saw this in a parenting magazine, but forgot which one. Also try 'white noise'...a soothing sound of a fan or air cleaner will help your son go to sleep too. It's worked for us.

As for nap time, set aside the same time everyday and dim his room or wherever you put him down for a nap. Tell him it's time for a nap and place a light blanket over him, so he knows that's what it means. Tell him to close his eyes and lie next to him. Sometimes they want to see mommy do the same thing so they can imitate her.

You do need your sleep in there, since you're so busy with two little ones. Hope this helps your situation :)

Looks like you've gotten some good advice already. I agree with the others in that ritual and consistency is KEY! We had issues with our daughter, but they did pass. Now it's always some milk and quiet time few minutes before bed - she has a soft light mobile that plays music and a mural of little bears on the ceiling. We always turn that on at bed time, and she usually goes right down! Of course.... that doesn't mean she doesn't wake up later now and then!

I put my son on a daily schedule, which I typed up and put on his wall. At 7 he has to start getting ready for bed, and in bed by 7:30. If he's in bed on time, he gets a story read to him, and 5 minutes of 'cuddle time'. If he isn't in bed on time, there is no story and only 2 minutes of 'cuddle time'. If he gets up for any reason other than to go to the bathroom, or throws a fit, he loses 'points'. He also earns and loses points for doing homework, chores, etc. which he trades in for playtime on the computer, or can save up to buy a toy. Honestly though, the story seems to be incentive enough.

Hi I know this story all to well I am the mother of four children. Every child is different and what works for one child doesn't for another. This is what works for us, I take my 2 and 3year old to the park almost every day at 10:00. On days that are to hot or rainy we go to the play area like McDonalds.
They play for a hour and a half and than we have lunch and a bath. I put in a Disney Movie and let them know its quiet time. I shut all the blinds and take the time to lay down myself. Usually they are sleeping before the Movie ends. If one of my toddlers doesn't go to sleep its not a problem because I still get a hour and half to myself. Having children so close in age we have different challenges. It was much easier with my first two who are 3 and half years apart.

Hi there.
We go through similar stuff (have a 2.5 yr. old and a newborn) and we are an episode of Bringing Home Baby this fall, and they had a sleep expert come meet with us, so there will be some good tips on the show, but that is a few months off.............talk about run on sentences!!
:)
We still struggle, but just don't be hard on yourself. Know that all of us yell at our kids when we are sleep deprived and irritable.
You WILL get thru this stage and everyone will be okay!
:)
S.
____@____.com

All I can say is: consistency, consistency, consistency!!!

Maybe he is ready to give up his nap (gasp!!) which I totally know you don't want. It may make it easier for him to fall asleep at night, you may have to experiment with that.

I don't know if he's mature enough to handle having a talk with him and laying out your plan (dinner, bath, 3 books, bed) and then sticking with it no matter what he does. Lay out consequences if he does not comply (I say to my kids - stay in your room or I will close the door) and just stick with it. IT WILL GET WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER!!!!! You will need your husband to support you on this, so have a "family meeting" to discuss the plan, when and how it will be carried out, consequences and REWARDS!!! Yes, he deserves a little reward of some kind for doing it well (a sticker for each night, then when the sticker chart is full, he gets to go to a movie - or whatever, you figure out what works for your family)

Good luck!