Hi moms,
I need major help. My son just turned two. He used to be amazing at going to bed: we'd give him the bottle, he recently started to say "bed" so we'd put him in, smiled when we said good night. He's started to get very difficult. He wants to read, he wants to play, he starts screaming when I put him in the bed. I will softly say good night, I love him, we'll play tomorrow, etc....he starts screaming his head off. He also started doing that too recently, looking me in the face and just screaming. SO annoying!!!!!! Going back to the nighttime situation, if he's still fussing 10 minutes later, I'l walk in to make sure he is okay and truthfully, I feel really bad!! He goes to bed at 7-ish although Im not SO stringent on it (ie; daddy comes home so they play or read together before going to bed at a little bit of a later time). We also have a 6 month old so if the baby wants to go to bed before the 2 year old, he will get a chance to play a little longer in that scenerio as well.
So........based on your experience is this a phase or does anybody have any additional insight? I really don't mind spending more time with him reading, or allowing him to play longer, etc....but 1) he needs to have an appropriate bed time 2) I need to take care of the 6 month old too so I can't spend forever with him 3) I don't want him to manipulate me and KNOW that he is!! I'm thinking he may just need to go to bed a little later. He's also been cutting his nap time a little from 3-4 hours (yes, good napper) to 2 hours. So he'll be getting less of nap AND he'll be put to bed later?? Sounds like he'd be missing too much needed sleep.
I'd appreciate hearing your experience on this matter, thank you!!
Maybe he just needs some down time in his crib. Tell him he does not
have to go to sleep and that he can play for a while. Hopefully he will
just go off without a scene.
This happens at this age juncture.
It is a phase.
It passes.
Just keep to a regular nap and bedtime routine.
its not an easy phase, for the child and the parent.
But it is a phase.
When my son started that, I would just shut the door for a couple minutes. Every time he got out of bed. After about 2-3 minutes I'd go in, lay him down, and give him a kiss, then leave with the door open. He absolutely hates the door closed! So that worked as an incentive for him to stay in bed. Within the first week of trying this, he quickly understood that when he gets up, I shut the door. When I go back in, I don't make a big deal out of it. I just say "Don't get up, or mommy will have to shut the door again." His bedtime is between 8-8:30pm, and he does really well with this. He wakes up around 7:30am.
As for the bedtime routine, we keep it really simple. I brush his teeth, wash his face, put jammies on, then we cuddle in his bed and read 2 (and only 2) books with the lamp on. I might cuddle with him for 5-10 minutes and talk about our day, or sing a song, or I just lay there and rub his back. It doesnt work if the routine is too long. We also start winding down around 7:15 to make bedtime easier.
This is just what we do, I hope this helps you. My son did go through that, and it was exhausting and heartbreaking at the same time. But I just pushed through it and kept to my plan, and now he does great :)
I truly believe it's manipulation, and I just wouldn't start something I don't want to add to the nightly routine. And then if you don't do it...just the same thing will happen night after night. You need your time too, don't forget. A simple bedtime story, real short, nite-nite, I love you, is good enough. I agree with shutting the door. But 7 maybe alittle early. Hope this helps.
I have a 2 yr old and 10 month old so I get the importance of sleep and routines. In terms of the 7pm bedtime, I think the general thought (just from all the books I used to read about sleep!) is that anything up to 8pm is a good idea in terms of the physiological aspect. The only thing that struck me was that he was sleeping 3-4 hour naps, which could be undermining night time sleep. I know you cut it down to 2 hours, which is probably right where he needs to be, but are you making sure there's a good 4 hours between his afternoon nap and 7pm? otherwise, you may want to wake him up earlier from the afternoon nap or adjust the bedtime accordingly. Good luck.
We have the same problem these days. We also offer her the door cracked open slightly if she'll lie down, and also purchased a cute night light from Bed Bath and Beyond that shines a picture up on the ceiling or on the wall if rotated. It's really cute. We also play soft music in the room. It can definitely be struggle before bedtime, and we do sometimes move to around 830ish, but she does go to bed with the same 2-3 hour nap during the day. I think this is fine. good luck!
how long does he sleep at night? We used to put our 2 year old to bed at 730 and she would sleep til 7am...then she started getting up WAYYY too early (like 5 o 6 am) we had to push her bedtime back to 830...
What worked for us on the tantrums is when we put the baby to bed, we make her fold her hands and pray "Now I lay me down to sleep Prayer"..it was a good way for us to get her in the crib without a fuss...and since she was able to say the prayer, it was a pretty easy fix for us.
Good luck
I would give him a bit more time to wind down, but keep it limited to quiet, relaxing activities - letting him play more will probably just keep him wound up and he won't want to stop. Bath, reading 1 or 2 stories, put on some soothing music, cuddle with him for another 5 or 10 minutes. He might still scream when he actually goes to bed, but just tell him, no, sorry, time for bed. Stand firm and keep it consistent. Once he realizes that screaming isn't going to change anything (and it might take a while) he'll give up. Don't worry about the fussing if it continues - eventually it will stop and he'll be learning to fall asleep on his own. I would not keep going back in his room to check on him though - it might get him all upset to have you leave again.
My DD is now 3.5 and her issue with bedtime was not screaming and crying but always trying to drag it longer - 1 more story, more cuddles, etc. I know how you feel when you say you feel bad because I love having that time with her and felt mean cutting her off but I'm also tired and I can't have it go on endlessly. It's fine to set limits and not feel guilty about it. It will be forming the foundation for discipline and limit-setting that he will need his whole life.
Hmm...maybe you should try changing up his bedtime routine. A little change in ambiance could be helpful to -- soft music/white noise or night light/no light. Little things like that can help create a more soothing sleeping environment. Here are some more sleeping tips that I recommend you check out to gain some better ideas as how to get your LO sleeping better:
http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/sleep?utm_campaign=t...
Good luck!
I started having to put my daughter to bed later to 830 because 7ish became way too early. He's definitely trying to stay up but he's not doing it just to be manipulative... kids don't have that kind of concrete operational thinking til age 6-7. Like he definitely wants his way and will do whatever to get it, but he's not purposely being vindictive or anything.
My daughter takes 2 hour naps, goes to bed at 830 (falls asleep at 9) and wakes up at 745am bright eyed and bushy tailed.
