My Two Year Old Doesn't Share

Updated on March 06, 2008
N.N. asks from Virginia Beach, VA
8 answers

I need advice on what to do with my two year old. He thinks everything is his. When we go somewhere he always ends up crying when we leave because he wants everything. He doesn't share at all....

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So What Happened?

I want to thank you ladies for giving me ideas on how to make my 2 year old share. We have been practicing but he still doesn't care he still believes everything is his. We have older kids in our neighborhood, so when we're outside they really don't bug him as he only has baby toys. I will be looking for daycare or some where that he can go for a couple of hours a day and be around others. Also, if anyone is interested in having play dates, please let me know.

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S.T.

answers from Greensboro on

N., 2 year old don't share! They don't even understand that until closer to 3. Find another strategy, but don't try too hard for the sharing yet.

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J.F.

answers from Charlotte on

Having been a nanny for 14 years between the same two families before I had my own baby girl (who is two years and two months old) I have to tell you that your boy's behavior is is totally normal for his age. You just have to consistantly encourage him to share. At around two years old a child comes into the concept of "me"...he sees himself for the first time as his own person....his own little one man band, if you will. Whereas before, they did not have that sense of self. With that sense of self comes the "mine" concept. He is developing normal to be going through this. My daughter has good days and not so good days of sharing. The more they are around other children, the more it will improve. You just need to stay on him when he does not want to share, even if it makes him cry. He has to learn, by example, that we share with our friends. My Sophie plays better with older kids,,,3, 4, 5, 6 year olds. She does not do well with her own age kids right now. The older kids have more understanding and work with her instead of grabbing stuff out of her hands,,,then I say "See Sophie, how Peyton shares with you?" And Sophie tells Peyton "thank-You" and then shares with her as well. Monkey See Monkey Do at our little one's age. Best of luck to ya and feel free to email me anytime!!~ :-)

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S.M.

answers from Charlotte on

I started having the same problem w/ my daughter in Nov when we were in stores. I just tolk her that we would have to leave (item) where it is so she could play with it the next time she is at the store. Seems to work for now.
Yep, I know it's perfectly normal for children this age to think EVERYthing is theirs. I consider it to be one of many stages that will eventually help me to become a better mother for when she hits the teens (which for middle school I know you just have to hang in & survive--hormones really do impact the kids intelligence for a bit)
Enjoy!!!

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M.V.

answers from Greensboro on

My son is now 5 and he is an only child and pretty spoiled! So sharing was hard for him too! What worked is showing him that sharing is taking turns! He had to give his toy or time on the swing for another child so all could have their turn! But carefull, we had to balance between "his" turn coming up alot too!! You just need to be consistent it will get better!

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A.D.

answers from Charlotte on

Consistency is so the key to parenting. This is totally normal but only you can help your son learn to share. When it happens stop what you are doing and get on his level and explain that you have to share and make him give the toy back to the other person then help him find something else to play or do. We have five children, 12, 7, 4twins, & 2. They have all gone through this and the baby is starting now. Everything is "Mine"! Our Pastor told us the Toddlers Law, which I thought was funny, but rings true to the toddler's. Just keep up with him and he will get through this stage! Good Luck!
The Toddler Property Laws :
1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it’s mine.
8. If I think it’s mine, it’s mine.
9. If it’s yours and I steal it, it’s mine.
10. If I saw it first, or last, makes no difference, it’s still mine.

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J.H.

answers from Greenville on

practice making him share at home. sharing is a learned trait.
the more practice he has the better. good luck:) ps its normal i raised 5 children and they all learned, he will too.

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M.I.

answers from Charlotte on

i have a 4year old and a 1year old she dont like to share i am doing something new if she donot let mathew play with her i take away the toy hide it for little then try again genesis if you share with i leave the toy until she does good luck it work for me now they take turns

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A.G.

answers from Charlotte on

Well, unfortunately, the two year old's motto is:

"What's mine is mine, what's yours is mine, and if there is any question as to whose it is...it's mine!"

I know that doesn't really help, but I think it true of at least 99% of two year olds. I have worked in childcare and it is inevitable. The best thing you can do is continue teaching him how to share and give him much opportunity to practice. It will come. It always does!

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