My Daughter Doesn't Want to Share...........

My 3 year old doesn't like to share either - I at least try to make him "trade" a toy with his little brother. Trading out a toy seems to work a little better than just trying to make him give somthing up. Good luck.

It's the toddler creed..." what I see is mine, what I had is mine and what I want is mine". She'll outgrow it.. mine did..

She is too young to understand the "good" in donating her toys...to her it is like they were stolen and she is reclaiming them. Imagine how you would feel if someone you knew just came over to your house and decided what you didn't need anymore and took off with it and you went to their house and there it was. It would have been better to donate them to someone where she never sees them again, I find that mine wont let me get rid of anything but never seem to notice when I have thrown things away. The secret is never let them see you do it until they are old enough to understand the kindness of charity.

Hi A..

At over two years old, your daughter is old enough to be involved in the decision of what toys to give away. Have her sit with you and explain that you would like to help other kids who don't have all the toys that your daughter has. Ask her if she would like to help them by giving them some of her old toys that she doesn't use anymore. Let HER pick them out. Then she may not be so possessive of them when she sees others playing with them.

I hope this works for you, as it did for me!

I was reading the other responses, and I beg to differ! A child of two is NOT too young to share! My daughter has a 2 year old and a four year old, both girls. They both share with each other and any other child who they are playing with. (She baby-sits a lot.) Teach them right from the start, and it can be done, and is perfectly natural! Just be consistant!

Best of luck to you!

My cousin has the same proablem with her son who is the only child and it is not going to be easy just pray and will get better for you in due time. That is really all i can say because i have 3 children that are stair step and they didn't go through that because they didn't have the time to before another one cane along.

I taught pre-school for 4 years, I had 2 year olds for 3 of those years. At 2 years old they don't share-it is too abstract for them to understand. I'm not saying you should stop trying to teach her-but just know she won't share for a while yet. At the pre-school where I worked we said "you may have it when Billy is finished with it" sometimes that worked with the older 2's. With my daughter we talked about taking turns that worked a little better (thanks to Sesame Street). She is 3 1/2 now and shares pretty well, she has a 1 year old sister and she goes to pre-school two days a week, so that has helps a great deal. You may try to have some more play dates with some other stay home moms, going to each others homes where the kids get to play with each others toys. Moms could take turns providing lunch and model sharing for the kids. Don't give up, just know that it will take time. I thought my Cassidy would never learn to share, and then suddenly she started sharing with her baby sister. Hang in there!

I think she needs to have more play dates :-). And when our kids get together and play we can give Brit C.'s advice a try about taking turns. I have given it a try (though not to that extent) and Joey thinks it is so much fun. I was even surprise when he on his own decided to share something with me.
(((((A.)))))

I think it's the age. My son is just a little bit older than your dd. It's pretty common to struggle in the whole sharing aspect of life at this age. I would just keep reminding her that it's nice to share. Sometimes removing her from the situation will help. If you are sitting their and she gets upset over someone playing with her old toys, maybe try to find something she will be okay playing with. Also when you see her sharing praise her for it. She'll soon figure out that when she gives things to others, she gets praised for it. Good luck!

here is some advice I recieved with my first child...
TODDLER'S CREED
If I want it, it's mine
If I give it to you and change my mind later, it's mine
If I can take it away from you, it's mine
If I had it a while ago, it's mine
If it's mine it will never belong to anybody else, no matter what
If it looks just like mine, it's mine

cute though that is it is also the truth until children are about 5 or 6 they will play side by side but they do not share well or at all and that is just development sorry. Just remember that this is a stage and it to shall pass (in about 3 years but will get better before then.)

One thing that has helped with my daughter is helping her practice sharing. She'll be playing with a toy and I'll ask if I can have a turn. Then I take it and play with it, and keep saying thank you for sharing, or mommy's turn. Then she'll get annoyed after a minute so I'll explain we are sharing. (simply like "it is mommy's turn right now and then Chloe will have a turn in a minute, this is how we share. sharing is fun.") I then ask her to say please. Then I give her the toy back and say "your turn" and we do this a while and increase the amount of time between turns. It really helps when other kids come over because she realizes more that she will get her toy back. But it is an age thing and eventually they grow out of it and understand (developmentally).

dont use so many words. after the first three she only hers blah blah blah no no so dont lecture. just say no.
a granny.
ps. its really normal and exposure to more group time will help.

Learning to share is something that really takes time. If you continue to teach it at every opportunity, she will learn, but don't expect anything overnight. My son is four years old and I remember feeling when he was tiny what you do now, and he still hasn't perfected it, but he's much better.

Part of it is developmental too. She is not necessarily completely capable of grasping the concept yet. But she will pick it up over time if you continue to teach it.

My experience with this is that children at that age really don't share. They play with something until they are done and then they play with something else. Our daycare emphasized the "who had it first" rule, and when 2 kids want to play with the same toy, they are encouraged to wait their turn. This seems to go pretty well.

We take a lot of old toys to Grandma's house, and we always end up bringing one or two back. You might try taking a few toys to trade. Take 2 and bring 2 home. This way, it doesn't feel like she's giving away her toys, just letting everyone borrow them.

I stay at home with blanie all the time and she only has like 4-5 children she plays with every now and then and she's very out going so she gets along with everone, but she doesnt realy like to share! She even stills toys from bastion!!! We get her to share by letting her take turns and giving her something else to play with until it's her turn again! It works most of the time!!! Key word most!!!! It doesnt always work but i'd rather it work most of the time then her always grabing things out of ppls hands and screaming mine!! It is a stage and all children grow out of it! Children dont realy have that big of an attention span so if you can get her mind off of one toy and on another she should be fine!!!

Don't think your child is unusual. Just like age two is the "No!" stage, on the way to three is the "MINE!" stage. That doesn't mean you don't stop teaching social skills.
One way to teach sharing is to model it. Instead of surprising her with her toys showing up at church let her help you bag them up to give away and give her some choices. Pick two toys she doesn't play with and ask which one she would like to share today.

Another way to teach sharing is to give her two of something and explain that one is for sharing. For example, if you have another child over and you prepare a sandwich for the two of them, give her the opportunity to share the half by letting her put the other half sandwich on her friend's plate, etc. Make it a positive fun thing. Have patience and remember practice makes perfect!

Maybe you shouldve not told her you were giving her toys away.my son doesnt play with half his toys and doesnt want anyone else to have them either and he is 7.he is also a only child and had limited times to share with other children until school started and has done fine with other things.i just clean out his toys when he is in school and he doesnt even realize it and his room is cleaner. I too either give the toys to salvation army or kids shelter.good idea!!

A child at 27 months isn't designed to want to share and that's okay. As a parent this is the time to begin to teach our babies to begin the concept of sharing so when they get to be around 4-5 and start school they'll be much better at it! Don't worry too much about it. You will figure it out. It always helps to read a few books on child development. Your local book store can help you pick out a good book on child development. I encourage you to read and know about what to expect from your child before it happens. A book on child development will enlighten you and reduce frustration!
Happy Parenting from an old Mom!

Do you want to share your things? Lol...I dont know of any child that really wants to share. Taking turns is really hard, especially if you really like the toy. Here is an idea. Tell your child that you are going to color pictures together. While you both are coloring ask her if she will trade you crayons. "I would really like to color with your blue crayon...do you want to trade with me"? Trading is easier than sharing. This is something you can work on at home. She has a sense that everything she sees is hers. Show her how you can share your things with her and Daddy. Talk about it as you do it. Get down on her level and pretend to be a toddler for a day. Let her think its her choic to "share" and make sure you praise her for doing so. Maybe for now you might ask the nursery to put those things away that she thinks are hers. Now she has to share things that dont belong to her. Chances are she may think everything belongs to her. I see it, I want it, therefore its mine. I know teenagers who have this thought process going on (and some adults too). In my classroom we talk about taking turns. "Cindy is having a turn with the doll right now. When she is finished you may have a turn. Lets find something else for you while you wait". Waiting is hard. I dont like to wait. You may want to practice this at home. When your daughter wants something "NOW", explain to her that she needs to wait a minute because ______, and reward her for waiting. Dont jump up and get something immediatly just because she screams for it. "When mommy is finished with the dishes I will get you a cup of juice". Make sure you do it though. Then tell her, "Thank you for waiting. You did a great job waiting. Now mommy will get you your juice". If she screams and throws a fit while she is waiting then tell her she must calm down before you get the juice. When she is calm, praise her for calming herself down. You dont want to reward negative behavior. It wont take long before she understands that good behavior gets her more than negative behavior.
Good luck

She's still too young to understand the concept of sharing. I was surprised, too, but our wonderful pre-K teacher told me. It's not until they are 3 or even 4 years old that they get it! So keep trying, and be patient!