My Toddler Is Still Not Sleeping All Night.

J.,
Only want to caution from a previous post: leaving food or liquid with a child in bed is not good. They can choke, and by the time you find out, it is too late.

Good Luck,
M.

Hi J.,
At 2, if he is looking for a drink, leave a spillproof cup of water in his crib/bed and let him know that mommy/daddy don't need to know if he is taking a drink. Tell him it's something you do quietly without waking the rest of the family. Let him know that night time is sleep time, even for mommy and daddy, and that you will be sleeping in your bed, and he'll be sleeping in his. Don't start a bad habit of laying with him and making him dependent on you to fall back to sleep. I am a former family-bedding parent and I don't have a problem with cosleeping, but if this is not what you want, then don't allow it. If your son is just awake and not sick or afraid, it's okay for kids to know that you're not looking to parent 24 hours a day, and that if someone wakes up in the night, they are expected to go back to sleep quietly in their own bed.
Good luck

I would put a sippy cup of water in his bed each night, and explain to him that he can drink out of it whenever he gets thirsty. I would also explain that nighttime is for sleeping, and that you need him to try to fall back asleep on his own if he wakes up.

Then, be ready for him to throw a total screamfest when you don't go back in there when he does wake up and want you. Since he's not in his crib, I'm guessing, maybe put a gate up in front of the door. (Since he can probably open his door, right?) Make sure his room is completely child proofed, of course.

He really has to learn to soothe himself. It's not going to be easy to get to this point, because he's SO SMART at this age! But it's really crucial. Be strong, be consistent, and hug your husband a lot while listening to those awful cries. (And boy can a 2 year old belt it out!) Don't waver, because he's smart enough to know you don't mean it 100%. It feels harsh, but in the end, he will be better rested and happier. And so will you!

We still have this problem with my daughter to a certain extent...and she is 6 now. it isnt as bad as it was but now its easier. She has never slept thru the night but she only gets up about 1 time a week now. We did 2 things...

First, We bought her a sports bottle and at night time we fill it with water and we made a special holder on her bed for it so that its there with in reach for her so that she can get a drink when she needs it. She has a bunk bed and we took an old purse and fastened it to bed so that it is like a pocket on the headboard.

As for her wanting to come in our bed or wanting us to sleep on her bed... I have to simply say no. I know its hard.. and for my husband he feels bad saying no... But its necessary.

We Take her back to her room and tuck her in and cover her with a special blanket that we bought for her (oh yeah, this is the second thing we did). This blanket has a Indian Chief on it and a horse. The Indian Chief is a symbol of protection and comfort to our family.. and so we have this to "protect" her.

When she has her cup...to get a drink with and her blanket to protect her, she is good. And we can all go back to sleep.

Its easier usually for one parent to be the "bad" guy..even though we arent really being bad. I personally cant sleep with my children in the bed because I have back issues and when I cant move because a kid is right up against your back, I hurt alot and so for us and I tend to be more of the disciplinarian then my husband, I have no problem taking her back to her bed and her staying there. My husband on the other hand, she gives a hard time to when he tries to take her back. And he will end up laying in her bed and feeling horrible when he gets up in the morning because he didnt really get any sleep or spent too much time catering to her when all he had to do is cover her, say good night and walk away. She would cry for a couple of minutes at first but now she doesnt.

So decide between the two of you, who is the one that can take him back, settle him and leave him there. And enforce the no sleeping in someone elses bed rules.. and have that person work on breaking this habbit.

Make it a ritual of filling the water bottle and putting it in its place, Covering him with his special blanket and tucking him in as a family and then ask him to stay in his own bed all night. That is what has worked for us.

Hope this helps.
W. in Watkins Glen
Mom to 3 kids
Andrea 6, Whitney age 13 and Korey_Mikel age 16

Dear J., Some children seem to need more hugs and closeness that others. One of my sons was still coming to my bed a 7. He could just be thirsty. I did start leaving a cup of water for him. As his mom I only wanted to comfort him and ease him back to his bed. If I was real tired I would move over. I can promise you that he will grow out of this.Go with your heart and other suggestions you will get from the great moms on this site. Grandma Mary

Unless it is bothering you, don't worry about what everyone else says. They grow up fast enough. :)

L.

J.,

Did you try to just leave the sippy cup within his reach and tell him he can get some water on his own. I did it with my son and it worked. Do you have the heat on high because I know that can dry you out and make you thirsty. I would just give him a drink lay him back down and leave the room. If you start laying down with him or bringing him to your bed you are going to start a habit you do not want to break later. Unless you don't mind co-sleeping that is personal choice. Does he fall asleep on his own? Because sometimes when children do not fall asleep on their own when they wake during the night they do not know how to go to sleep on their own. Just a few suggestions. Good luck I hope you get some sleep!

He might be asking for a drink in terms of wanting your attention as it is with wanting you to lay with him in his bed or yours.......
Don't give into what he wants here....At bed time tuck him into his own bed...put a sippy cup with a little water in it on his night stand and let him know it's there for him if he should get up from sleep and wants a drink...give him some attention by reading to him a little before saying good-night. If he wakes you in the middle of the night asking for a drink, remind him his sippy cup is on his night stand and send him back to his room and be firm about it...

I know it can be hard to break these habits. But I found with my daughter, her habits have been easier than I expected to break. But depends on the child for sure.

I'm a fan of going cold turkey. You can start by going into his room and rubbing his back for a little bit and saying it is time to go to sleep. That way it doesn't feel like you are completely ignoring him.

If the reason that he wakes up is that he is thirsty, you can put a table with his sippy cup just next to his bed/crib and show him the first few nights where it is (you'll need a night light) and then hopefully he'll be able to find it himself and then lie down to go back to sleep.

I found with my little ones, once I started and stuck with the modified approach, they took to it at some point. But you have to be ready to let them get upset for a few nights and/or have a couple of days when they are overtired because they didn't sleep well the night before, which can be a lot to handle, especially during the holidays.

I hope that is helpful - good luck!