When Do We Draw the Line

Updated on May 20, 2010
S.B. asks from Yreka, CA
25 answers

Our daughter is turning two in August and over the last couple of months has started waking up pretty much every hour if not sooner thirsty for a drink. She gets very upset if we dont tend to her. Is she really that thirsty that much throughout the night or is this just an attention thing. Where do we draw the line, It seems like if we let her cry it turns in to screaming, but im not sure if its getting her into a bad habit by giving in everytime. Either way after almost two years were still having trouble sleeping all night

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So What Happened?

Just to verfy things, our daughter does not get up every hour. It may seem like it, but in reality I get up with her probably 3-4 times a night. that amount is still excessive, but that part was a typo (my boyfriend wrote in). Last night, we tried the sippy cup filled with water. We tucked her in and explained to her that if she gets thirsty her cup was right there. Unfortunatly, she woke up 3 times last night. The first time, she freaked out once she found out it was water (shes used to extremely diluted juice). I gave in after her crying for 10 minutes and gave her her cup of juice. She took a small sip and went back straight back to sleep. After seeing that I decided if there was a next time, I was just going to let her cry it out. Keep in mind, our daughter has NEVER cried herself back to sleep. There's never been a need for it. The second time last night she woke up, she did great. She fussed and then I heard her grab her cup take a sip, roll over and go back to bed. The third time she woke up was this morning when my boyfriend was getting ready for work. She normally sleeps in for an hour or so after he leaves. So when she woke up this morning, she was extremely upset again that it was water in her cup. So I don't know if this is something that is going to work or not, but it's still too early to tell.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

i would give her the cup of water to keep by her bed (no juice unless you want cavities), and let her cry it out. Let her know that mommy and daddy need sleep as well, and they are going to get it, than just stand firm. It may take some time but she will get it.

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T.P.

answers from Portland on

I didn't read all the responses, but what we do for my 2.5yr old daughter is use an insulated sippy cup (platex, with the hard sip spout so no leaks and easy to drink at night). I fill it to the top with ice, then fill it with water and leave it on a little nightstand by her bed. This way she only has a small amount of water at bedtime, then as the night goes on the ice melts and she has a little more to drink if she wakes up. This helped a LOT with her nighttime crying out for us. Now she just uses the sippy and has her own drink. We use an 8oz sippy cup so it isn't so much water it makes her wet through her pull-up at night. I would suggest taking her to the store and picking out 2 or 3 sippies for her to choose from then let her pick the one she wants for her night time water, that will make it a more special thing for her, and stress what a "big girl" thing it will be to her her own drink by her bed. Hope this helps!

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J.C.

answers from Seattle on

we put a sippy cup of water in the crib with my daughter because she wakes up asking for water in the middle of the night too (she is only 15 months). This seems to work for us - she usually doesn't actually even drink it - but she knows it's there!

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L.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

You draw the line when you want to start teaching your child not to come to you when she has a problem.

I suggest working with her to figure out a solution to the problem. For example, have you tried a sippy cup with a lid, so she can get to it without spilling?

If it's a way to have you near her at night, why not try a mattress or even sleeping bag at the foot of your bed? Take her need for your presence as a compliment as to how much she loves you.

----update for the 'so what happened' comments ---
sounds like you're changing two things at once. First, get her used to having her cup there at night.

Then, gradually, dilute the diluted juice more and more until it is only water.

Please show your daughter that you are sympathetic to her upset. That doesn't mean that you won't enforce your rule, but you can still enforce it very effectively while being kind and empathetic. Lovingly saying no is still getting the message across. No is still no. Doing it kindly is still keeping your family connection. If you ask your boyfriend something, how would you prefer he say no, kindly or sternly then ignore you after that?

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

I do agree with getting her checked by your pediatrician.

However, my daughter is also very thirsty, mostly around bedtime because she is just too busy to drink a lot during the day. We have a sippy cup with water by her bedside (otherwise we don't use sippies anymore) so she can help herself at night and that works very well.

Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

I suspect she's waking and wanting your attention. I'd give her a sippy cup of water and tell her she can help herself to it all night long, but mommy and daddy are not going to come anymore when she wakes up thirsty. then stick to your guns. i suspect she and you will all get better sleep within days.

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

.

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D.D.

answers from Seattle on

I would check with a doctor or naturopath and see if anything is wrong.

R.C.

answers from York on

My son will be 2 in July and he too likes to get drinks during the night. I put a spill-proof sippy cup in the corner of his crib. He knows where it is and can get to it on his own. Most nights he will get his own drinks and sit the cup back into the corner. Everyone once in a while there is a bad night where he calls me for a drink and I do go to his room and remind him of his cup, kiss him and leave the room. This is my first child so I can't speak from experience but I have heard this can be a trying age.

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T.N.

answers from Portland on

Hi S.,

Were it me, I would have her checked for Type 1 diabetis. I know of an 18 month old who was drinking out of the toilets because he was so thirsty. After you have that checked then I would work on self soothing techniques.

Best of luck and please let us know what happens.

T. Nelson CD (DONA)

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T.T.

answers from Portland on

Get her to a doctor. She might have diabetes.

N.M.

answers from Medford on

She may be really thirsty or in a transition. Don't give in to the frustration, remember she is learning how to be in a body that is growing and these transitions will be happening for years. So your making the decision to focus on loving her instead of getting frustrated is better for both of you.

Reasons that she may really be thirsty: If she gets sugary foods, drinks during the day. Our body need waters to clear things out and thirsty is our only real signal to drink, which we need to do clean out the body. Get her to drink more during the day, encourage lot's of water throughout the day so the body is well hydrated. Most kids and adults could use more water. Is she hungry? Does she eat enough protein and complex carbs to get her through the night - if not try a piece of chesse or some milk before she sleeps. Does she have 2-3 bowel movements a day? This is an often overlooked area - we should all be having 2-3 a day, you have to take out the trash or it backs up and that is no good. If not increasing water can often correct that situation.
Also, look to see is there an animal that goes into her room that might be waking her up, is the vent for the heating/cooling system drying out the air in the room or is there some noise outside that is disturbing her.

If is is a phase, gently picking her up and holding her for a while giving her some reassurance that she can go to sleep and stay asleep. Remember we are all tribal/communal by our natural instinct and some people could not imagine separating themselves from their children at an early age. She could use a cuddle, some reassurance and with you patience she will get the hang of sleeping in her own bed all night. You may also try a sippy cup by the bed. If she is really thirsty, that may solve the issue of her waking you up.

If she keeps waking you up, perhaps she could use some more cuddle time at night and/or some time playing quietly in her room during the daylight. Reading together is really helpful as it makes the brain work so it then rests more deeply.

Remember they adore you and count on you, so enjoy the unconditional love they give. Mine is looking me in the eye now and still is so full of love - I am grateful for the patience I put in early on, it is showing up as my tween and I having a good relationship.

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L.P.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Does your child use a sippy cup? If so, you could put a sippy cup of water in bed with her. When she wakes up and is thirsty she can get a drink herself without waking you. If that doesn't work then maybe it is an attention thing.

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S.P.

answers from Seattle on

Something similar happened last summer when it was very hot. We started giving our daughter her sippy with water when she goes to bed. Sometimes she wakes up at night even if it's not hot and wants to drink something. She has woken us up at night before to refill her cup because she had drained it. Just fill a sippy cup with water for her, so she can drink should she be thirsty. The water is not a problem for her teeth. We've told her dentist that we giver her a sippy at night, and he does not see a problem with that, as long as it doesn't contain anything sugary.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I'd be a bit concerned about being thirsty every hour. If it were me, I might have her doctor check her out to rule out any medical issue before assuming it was just a toddler attitude thing. Excessive thirst is a symptom of diabetes. Is she thirsty all day, too? Once a medical issue is ruled out, 2 yrs old is about the time nightmares can start. It might be time for night lights and monster spray. My son didn't like it if I put him back in his crib, so he use to come to our bed without waking us up and just tuck himself in at the foot of our bed. 2's and 3's are challenging ages.

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S.S.

answers from Seattle on

My son goes to bed with a sippy cup of water and has for a while now (since about 20 months). I thought it might be a problem for when he potty trains at night, but believe it or not, despite the fact that the sippy cup is empty each morning, most mornings his diaper is dry! And yes, if the cup is empty in the night (last night, for example) he screams out for more water. I sent him to bed with a full cup, too... He peed once in the night and woke up with a dry diaper. If I drank that much at night, I'd be in the bathroom every 30 minutes! He drinks a lot during the day, but seems to need just as much at night. That said, can you send her to bed with a sippy cup of water?

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L.L.

answers from Portland on

Get her one of those no-spill sippy cups with water in it. Our 4 grandkids use them every night and never have to cry for water.

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

Interesting...my daughter went through this around the same age. I was SO convinced that she had diabetes that I was testing her blood sugar. It wasn't diabetes, but I definitely think it is worth checking out.

I bed-share with my daughter, so I did just keep a sippy cup of water on the night stand that I could easily hand to her. Now there is a stool and cup in the bathroom that she can get her own drink if she needs it.

One thing that I did notice was that she just wasn't getting enough to drink during the day. I asked the daycare to ensure she was getting plenty of water and I encouraged her to drink plenty before bedtime. Of course, I had to modify that when we potty trained, but she hasn't woken up thirsty in a long time.

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L.S.

answers from Seattle on

If I were you I would make sure she gets plenty to drink during the day and then let her cry at night. At age two she does not need you at night. She does want you. If you give her attention she will learn quickly how to get it. It sounds like she already has. My children did not sleep through the night until they were a year old. My youngest one still did not at 15 months so I finally drew the line and it was a hard couple of days but after that he sleeps great. Just make sure to keep to a good bedtime routine. She will learn quickly when it is time to sleep. Our little ones are smart.

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R.W.

answers from Portland on

Have her checked for diabetes.

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D.S.

answers from Portland on

Be sure you talk to your doctor about the possibility of GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease) - more commonly known as heartburn. It can contribute to sleep problems and often kids want a drink to get rid of the yucky taste and to help their stomach/chest feel better

If she's drinking more all the time, I agree that diabetes should be ruled out.

Good luck!

C.S.

answers from Medford on

We went through this with our daughter at that age. She is now 5. Not sure if others would agree with what we did, but we gave her a sippy cup of water in her bed to keep. Don't you ever wake up in the middle of the night thirsty? I know I do...she knew where her sippy was and we taught her if she needed a drink she could get it herself...still today if she is sick or has a sore throat she gets water in her room and she doesnt wet the bed. :)

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

It can be an attention activity but I would make sure she was getting enough fluids during the day. Kids get to playing a don't think about thirst. Let her have a cup of something to drink all the time on the table or somewhere you decide is approp. Can she have a tippy cup by her in her bedroom? It can have water in it. Learning to go back to sleep themselves is a hard thing to get them to do. I can't say I ever had too many issues. If ours woke up they came and crawled into bed with us. They are happy little kids that sleep in their own beds 90% of the time, all night.

We still had the kids on the bottle at this time, I don't really follow other peoples time tables, and if they still wanted a bottle they got one. All 6 grandkids gave up the bootle shortly after turning 2. They just brought them to me and started drinking out of a tippy cup exclusively. So that's why I was thinking the cup by the bed or in the bed with her.

J.S.

answers from Seattle on

We let our 27 month old go to bed with a sippy cup of water (about 6 oz). She knows that she only gets water and she doesn't get a refill. Sometimes it is empty in the morning, sometimes it is nearly full. But I don't think there is anything wrong with that - I get thirsty during the night, too!

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R.C.

answers from Portland on

First I'd get her to a pediatrician right away. Excessive thirst can be a sign of diabetes. If you can rule out medical reasons, then I'd try the other things. If she's wanting your attention, I'd try giving her some really direct one-on-one for at least 30 minutes in the evening, and making sure that you answer her requests directly during the day so she feels secure that she's being heard. Good luck!

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