My Son Will Be 1 Year Old in 2 Weeks and Still Doesn't Sleep Through the Night!

J. -

Let me tell you that you are not alone. What worked for me..... when I (finally) went to bed, I would change my son's diaper while he was asleep in the crib. It seemed that being dry helped him sleep through the night. Try it; it may work. It may not. All the other advice and wive's tales given to me never worked until my husband and I tried this method. Good luck!

I don't think it's that unusual for a child not to sleep through the night at this age. Many kids continue to nightwake regularly until all their teeth are in. I think this culture sets up expectations for babies' sleep that just doesn't have any basis in biology, kwim? I also don't think it's impossible that he's hungry or thirsty. I get hungry and thirsty during the night and I'm not a growing baby. :) Or it could be that he wants the comfort of knowing you're there for him. Please don't ignore his cries. :(

I like Dr Sears' sleep webpages; maybe something there will help you. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

My kids are 11, 9 and 6. Rarely does a night go by when someone isn't up, looking for something, wanting to switch beds, etc. My mom jokes that I didn't sleep through the night as a baby, and I still don't sleep through the night! Most of the time it's true!

The rule here is, if there are already 2 people in my bed (usually dh and me) you either go back to bed or bring your stuff and sleep on the floor. There have been many mornings I've woken up and have all 3 on my floor!!

I've come to appreciate snuggling with the younger 2, because the older one doesn't want to snuggle so much any more!

Good luck, someday it will happen!

~B.

Hello, I had the same issue that you do. When I first had my son I lived at home with my parents and my son slept in the same room as me. He actually shared a room with me until he was 3 1/2. The big thing here is, since you are in the same room, he will see no problem with crawling into bed with you. My son will be 4 in a week and he still will crawl into bed with me even though he has his own room and loves it. When my son was your son's age he would wake up 3 or 4 times a night without fail. There wasn't much I could do about it except snuggle up with him and go back to sleep. Since I was going to college full time it was the only way I could get a full nights sleep.

Once I graduated however I turned the tables a bit. He had just turned 3 and had developed enough to the point of where he would only wake up once maybe twice a night. Since I usually woke up to his loud feet on the hardwood floor I would refuse him entry into my bed. I would give him a kiss, tell him I love him too, and point at his bed and tell him to get his fanny in it. As long as you are persistant he will eventually give up. (As a plus, if I ever fell asleep on my son doing this, he usually just went back to his own bed!)

I am also of the opinion that there is nothing wrong with children crawling into bed with mommy. Most of the time (like with my son) it was just a way to get closer and have mommy time while he was sleeping. During the winter it was usually to get warmer as well. When you stop and think about it, isn't it really nice when you get to snuggle up to someone special? To your son, you are that someone special.

Now my son just comes in at about 6 am for an early morning snuggle. Sometimes he falls back to sleep, other times after he finishes his cup of juice he wanders off downstairs to play. I only got it this way because I figured out the best time to put him to bed (his bed time has a tremendous effect on how many times and when he wakes up, believe it or not) and because I would insist on him sleeping in his own bed until a certain time. Obviously this time has leeway cause if he comes in at 530 I dont send him away and he's likely to fall back to sleep anyway.

A side note: I have NEVER believed in letting a child cry it out no matter what age they were. The younger they are, the more they need the assurance that you love them and will respond to them. So before putting him back into bed tell him you love him bunches, and check on him a few times so he knows you are paying attention and do care, it works very well with my son and I only ever need to check once before he goes back to sleep.

I posted a response similar to this one a short while ago on a mom who had problems getting her child out of her bed. Check it out and see if any responses there help. It takes time, a lot a patience and some missed sleep but in the end its worth it. Gook Luck!

We had a great Ped. that told us that we needed to re-program our son. He told us that each time he wakes in the night lay him on his back, rub his tummy, and tell him it is night time and time to sleep then leave the room. Do not pick him up, do not turn on any lights, do not change his diaper unless he has pooped and . Do this every time he wakes up in the night. Then the next night let him cry for 5 minutes longer each time he wakes then do it all over again. The 3rd night let him cry 10 minutes longer and do it over again. Continue adding 5 minutes each night and follow the same routine. This will be rough for the first few nights but by the end of the week he will start getting the idea that night time is for sleep and he will sleep longer between awake times. This worked like a charm for us and my son has been sleeping through the night eversince the end of that week!
Please let me know if this works for you. Best wishes!
-B.

Hey J.
My name is J. and I am in sort of the same situation as you are. I am 22 year old who has a 16 mos old daughter and I still live at home also. My daughter never sleeps through the night either. She sleeps in my room too and she still wakes up at least once a night. She usually just wants me to get up and put her pacifer in her mouth for her Like she can't do it herself. It is really frustrating because I would love to just sleep the whole night through sometime and maybe get rid of the bags under my eyes. The only thing i can say is do not give him anything to drink no matter what after he turns one because they no longer need to be fed. It is just a comfort for him and he is associating drinking his bottle with sleeping and that is not a good thing. My daughter did the same thing. And after 2 weeks she was okay. Even though she still wakes up now she goes right back to sleep. Try giving him a pacifier if he takes one.

If you gave a bottle than you didn't stick to your guns. The hardest thing we had to do as a couple was let our daughter cry it out. Let your kid cry it out. If it persist longer than 5 minutes, walk up feel for wet diaper, throw up, or a bug in the bed. If these things aren't there be quiet and slip back to bed. Just like everything else create a pattern. Good Luck.

How much sleeping does he do during the day? Does he have a full belly before going to bed? Babies sleep patterns alot of times change with big things, like teeth, walking etc.

Try to make sure he has a full belly before bed and watch the napping.

You're not alone! My 13 month old doesn't sleep throught the night either. Just this past week she has sstarted getting up only once compared to the 3-6 times!! Granted she is breastfed, but at this point she shouldn't be getting up that many times!!

We've contributed her sleeping for so long to keeping her up later! Also, we give her a lot of snacks before bed! Graham crackers, apples, cheese. That sort of stuff! Also, she only takes one nap during the day and it's only about 70 minutes long if that!!

Just know you're not alone!

Hi J.

I am in the same exact situation as you. My daughter will be 3 in 2 weeks and she still sometimes wake up in the middle of the night. She slept straight thru the night when she was little. I went the "let her cry it out" method at it seems to have worked for me, noone likes to hear their baby cry, but they need to know that crying isnt gonna get them what they want. At this point he should be able to get himself back to sleep by now. I dont think that it is mean and unloving that you let him cry. Its hard to have to share a room with your child when they should have their own to get used to sleeping by themselves. Anyhow back to the point...if he crys try going over to his crib im assuming and look at him and say its ok and rub his back or whatever it is you do that calms him down and he will fall back to sleep. If you are doing that for over an hour maybe check his diaper or see if he will take some milk or apple sauce or something. Hope that helps! Good Luck to you!! If you need to talk (since we are in almost the same situation) email me

Hello~#1 He may be having prob with the milk/maybe not.How do you know if he isnt hungry? Is he eating a good dinner?I have found if I dont feed my daughter who is a little over one oatmeal or something an hour before bed, she will wake up 3 times a night.I wouldnt want to go from 5 or 6pm till morning without a snack of some sort.Until a few months ago my daughter was not sleeping through the night, andthen we went through night terrors, and now everything is fine, although she is getting molars...(eww), but I would def talk to the ped about the milk, and see maybe if he is having any prob. How is his day time?Does he seem cranky?If you want to try a tst, I would go to soy milk(Plain) for a few days, and see if he is better.Just a thought.

I haven't read any other responses, so please forgive any repetition.....
1 - bottle to go back to sleep really must stop - he will never give up his bottle if it a souce of comfort and not food only.
2 - if he drinks milk already, try giving him some warm milk about 1/2 hour before bed - doesn't always work, and some kids hate it, but it's worth trying - warm milk helps many (not all) people fall asleep - something about warming up the sugars change the structure, turns into a sleep aid - I don't know the science behind it, but it does work for some!
3 - maybe get a small radio in the room tuned to a classical station - might be soothing?
4 - every kid is different - while what you are going thru now really, really bites the big one, just remember these days when he goes on his first date!!!!

Hi J., I am L. and I have an 8 year old daughter who did the same thing your son is doing.I thought at one point I would lose my mind because I did not sleep enough. I know you may have heard of the ferber method, well it is very difficult to do but it works.Although you should start the Ferber method when they are a few months old it will still work with a one year old, it just doesn't work as quickly on older babies. Let me explaine how it works. You lay your baby down while he is awake, do not put him to sleep first or it will not work.then he will cry, you leave the room and you wait 5 minutes, then you go back in and DO NOT PICK HIM UP!! but you do pat his back and make sure you lay him down, if he keeps getting up tthen let him stand either way you tell him you love him and that its ok, tell him its night night time. Then after a minute of comforting you leave again, then you wait 10 minutes, again go in comfort him with out picking him up. Each time you add 5 minutes before going in. Trust me, he is going to zap out. I had to be held down on the couch and I cried so badly. This is so painful for the parent, the child will eventually go to sleep. Each night you do this will take a little longer, but after a week or 2 each night your time will grow shorter until eventually the baby will lay down awake with out crying and put himself to sleep. The idea behind the Ferber method is that we all wake up and have to put our self to sleep each night. They have to learn to comfort themselves back to sleep at night and to put themselves to sleep when it is bed time. My 8 year old now has the best sleeping habits. She has since I completed that method. It took me a little over 3 weeks but she did it. I was ready for a week in a looney bin but she was fine, and she doesn't need therapy for what I did to her during this time! LOL! It feels cruel and awful but it works and the doctors are now suggesting mom's start this when they are 1 month old. Good luck I hope you have the patience to do it. it helps if when you leave him in the room to cry that you are in an area where you can't really hear him getting upset. Let me know how things work and don't expect it to work over night, the older the baby the longer it takes

Hi, Im K. and I have a 3yr old son. He just started sleeping thru the night about 7 months ago. He woke up 2-3 times a night. I thought I was going to die !! We lived at home with my Mom and I blamed it on that as well. I recently moved into my own apt. in June and he had his own BIG BOY room. I made a big deal of it and it still didnt work. But eventually he started sleeping thru the night. I started taking him to bed aroung 8:30pm and I read him a book. Then I tell him that he is a big boy and I out the nightlight on. I sit in his room in the rocking chair for a few minutes. He settles down and finally falls asleep. Good luck, it will happen. Believe me I was up more then he was and I work F/T !! Keep your head up !!

K.

hello,this is a thing some go through I have four kids and they all end up in the bed with me and my husband almost everynight. I have to remind myself that they are still little and they just want to be close, it is ok if he sleeps with you. also try to start giving him a cup with milk. and just sit by his bed so that he can feel comfortable knowing that you are there. let me know if this helpful to you