Anyone Have a Home Daycare in Their Home?

Updated on August 15, 2012
★.O. asks from Saint Petersburg, FL
6 answers

If you have a Home Daycare... what are the policies or practice in place for when you have a known biter? What if the parents are not caring or taking seriously the fact that their child is a biter? How many times or how many children does the child have to bite before it's seen as an issue? What if a parent SAW their child bitten by the problem biter and personally stopped that child from biting their son two more times within an hour of being there? Can the family who's child was bitten demand or expect the child who bites to be expelled from that daycare or is money for the provider really that much more important?

This is a question specifically for FL... but would welcome other state's policies and information.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

My child is newly turned 1 y/o, the biter is maybe 2-3 months older - not even 1.5 y/o. The child aggressively went after my son, not once, but 3 times within the hour I spent talking and touring the home daycare. I personally yelled at the child twice to stop him from biting (I loudly said very sternly "NO BITING!"). My child is ALMOST walking, the biter is a good walker and went out of his way to go after my less mobile son.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I don't live in FL so I don't know what your regulations are... in CA, the provider pretty much sets their own policies around "expelling" kids, however they are also required to report any injuries that break the skin and require a Dr. visit.

Kids bite for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes there is a need to remove that child from care and sometimes it can be extinguished in a short amount of time. Biting is fast and hard to catch sometimes, but having said that I believe that it is the responsibility of the caregiver to prevent biting as much as possible.

Are you asking as a parent or as a care provider?

I am a daycare provider and a mom. I have had biters in my care, my kids have been bitten while in another care situation (before I had my own daycare) and one of my kids was a biter, so I know all sides of this. Some care providers have a no tolerance policy for biting... one bite and the kid is out... I don't, because I understand that biting is not uncommon in group situations with young children, and it is manageable. In most cases the reason for the biting can be determined and then prevention is the key until the biting subsides. So for example, if the child is biting because they are teething, they can be given frozen ways clothes or frozen fruit to help with their teeth and shadowed closely when in a group of other children. Teething goes away and they no longer bite.

In the past I have told a family that if their child bit another child again that I would not be able to keep her in my daycare. The bite was what I considered severe and aggressive. She never bit anyone again while I had her in care.

As a parent it's up to you to determine whether you feel your child is safe in someone else's care. I would not allow a family to dictate how I run my business or provide care for children. My parents are aware of my policies at the onset and a free to ask any questions regarding them. If they are not comfortable with how I handle a situation they are welcome to discuss it with me but I would not expect them to demand that I kick out another family.

It has nothing to do with money... I always love when people say things like that, with the implication that we will put up with anything or subject other people's children to anything just for the money. Childcare is many many more hours than we are paid for, and a good care provider does it because they love kids, they understand kids and they want to be able to provide the best possible care for them. Believe me, it's certainly not for the money. If that's what someone is it it for they need to find another profession.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Kansas City on

I have never threatened to or even thought to possibly expell a child for biting. The thing is the parents can talk, talk, talk at home but it is my job here at the daycare to keep him/her from biting. Five hours later when Mom comes she can't really do anything about it. I teach my kiddos what to do if they think they are about to be biten. 1. In a very loud and firm voice say "No Bite", 2. Push the biter away if needed, yes I teach them to push, it's self defense. We also have a lovely little sing song chant that we got from Yo Gabba Gabba called "Don't Bite Your Friends" (we use that for a lot of things by changing a word or two).

I had a biter and I was so upset anytime he did it. I did my best to get it across to him how much that hurts, but it took a while.

Providers do have an obligation to inform Mom or Dad at pick up time that thier little one received a bite today.

M

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Not really since biting is a normal behavior for toddlers. It is just one of those stages that happen. If you want to be mad at someone then be mad at the care provider, she's the one watching the kiddo, the parents aren't even there during the biting. They probably know that kids bite and there isn't much to do for it except stuff that most care givers know. There are lists and lists of things to do to discourage biting.

There are no policies or any other real information about it other than some helpful tips your care provider can find online. Chewy foods are a great way of dealing with a biter. Listening to them and trying to find out what is causing their frustrations, watching to see if the child that keeps getting bitten is somehow triggering this child's aggression, maybe they wear a lot of red and the child does not like red....

There isn't much a care giver can do if they want to pay attention to the biter all day. They can be sitting right there with the child that bites and they will look at another child who is asking a question or needs to go pee and the biter will lean over and take a bite out of someone.

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you googled Florida's laws re this?
In home daycare I think biting is pretty much handled on a case by case basis, because of course it's kind of like hitting or scratching in that it can be very subjective. But it seems to me that most places give kids up to about three chances of serious biting (breaking the skin) before asking them to leave. Of course if a sitter decides she needs the client and doesn't have anyone else on a wait list she may be willing to put up with more, in which case it becomes the parents of the child who is being bitten to seek alternative care.
Personally if my kid was being bitten repeatedly with no real concern or effort on behalf of the provider I would ABSOLUTELY be looking for another option :(

Updated

Have you googled Florida's laws re this?
In home daycare I think biting is pretty much handled on a case by case basis, because of course it's kind of like hitting or scratching in that it can be very subjective. But it seems to me that most places give kids up to about three chances of serious biting (breaking the skin) before asking them to leave. Of course if a sitter decides she needs the client and doesn't have anyone else on a wait list she may be willing to put up with more, in which case it becomes the parents of the child who is being bitten to seek alternative care.
Personally if my kid was being bitten repeatedly with no real concern or effort on behalf of the provider I would ABSOLUTELY be looking for another option :(

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D..

answers from Charlotte on

I can't believe it's been almost a year... wow! He must be so big now!

First of all, I hope you will find a different daycare situation. I think that it's harder for a home daycare provider to deal with biters. There is usually only one person watching the children, and a whole house to deal with, including making food, changing diapers, taking kids to the toilet, etc. Centers have more people to help out and watch the child more carefully, while someone else is handling the other stuff.

I don't know that there are laws about this. I think that it's more about what the daycare decides to do. Whether they would rather lose the biter or the bitee. (Is that a word?) A daycare CENTER would rather lose the biter if they cannot turn the situation around.

Here's my experience. My son was the bitee. His bestest little friend would bite when he got excited. It upset my son so much after being bitten several times, that he bit himself. One of the teachers absolutely loved my son - she called me on the phone to tell me what happened. When she said that my son bit himself instead of biting the little boy back, I cried. She pretty much stayed right there with that little boy and prevented him from biting. The teachers stayed close and when they saw the "signs", they calmed him down. He eventually stopped doing it.

Another daycare - my other son. He was also the bitee. The little boy who was biting was close to being discharged from the daycare. What that daycare did was make him a rubber tube and attach it to his shirt. When he showed the "sign" that he was getting ready to bite, they would tell him to bite the tube. He did that quite a bit.

All my daycares did the same thing in regards to helping the bitten child. They would quickly put the biter in time out and walk away from him, ignoring him. They took good care of the bitten child, in front of the child who bit. That part is important.

I also think that it's important that the parents of the biter CARE. They need to work with their child.

It is HARD, I am sure, to be the parent of a biter. Not to say that it isn't hard to be the parent of the one who is bitten (including me!) However, it is normal for some kids to bite. It gets better when they learn to communicate their frustrations.

I don't know the "law" you are asking about, but truthfully, I don't think you have a leg to stand on to make demands. The provider will need to make the decision - either keep your child, keep the other child, or try to keep you both. Her decision to choose the biter over you might have to do with if you are the more difficult parent for her to deal with, if the other family pays her more, or other/additional reasoning on her part.

Anyway, I hope you will find another situation. I know it's hard - hang in there.

Dawn

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

the daycare provider needs to be more vigilant in preventing the bite, rather than being reactive to the drama of the event.

when I have a biter in my group, I am right there in the middle of all play. My hand goes between the biter & the victim.....about 75% of the time. & I'm serious! I have to be right there....or I miss the prevention of the bite. It takes a lot of patience & fortitude to get past this phase!

& it is a normal event for most children. As an inhome provider, I firmly believe it is not the parent's responsibility....but mine. The biter is in my care & I am responsible for the child's actions.

I do not believe the biter should be expelled. I believe the provider should be given notice from the victim's family....that they will request a sit-down conference with the biter's family....if the provider does not do a better job in preventing harm to all of the children in her care.

As a disclaimer, I have no idea what the laws state. I am simply sharing my policies with you.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions