My Son's Going into Daycare, and I Am Going into a State of Panic

Lona,

I know your concern and I just want to ease it a little by saying that I took my child to daycare early on because I had to go back to work and he benefitted in ways I would have never imagined. I was nervous at first but when I saw how much he loved it there, I began to feel better. With your son being so close to two, it is probably good to get him used to it now cause he is getting to that point where no matter how great the place you leave him at is... he will possibly cry when you leave. And that makes it really hard. But just know that he will be so glad to see his mommy when you pick him up that the daily smiles will be all worth it. And he will really pick up some great social skills!

You are right to have all the what ifs but you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If you feel comfortable with the daycare you have chosen then he will be fine. Have you seen the room he will be in? Has he seen the room he will be in? If you've taken a tour of the place with him then he had a chance to interact with the other kids. Try not to stress. Kids his age don't know what it means to not like another kid. Their biggest issue is everything is mine!! lol Yeah, he may cry when you leave the first few times but he'll get over it quickly and will have a normal day. If he gets hurt then most daycares will give you a little papaer stating what happened, where the boo boo is and what they did for him (ice pack, band aid, TLC, etc) unless it requires him to go to the ER then you'll get a phone call to come get him.

It won't affect the mother child bond either. He needs to scoioalize with other kids. It's important in their devoloplment to learn how to treat others, adjust to different social settings and learn independance. If he is outgoing like you say then he probably won't have a problem being there. He'll have new toys to play with that he doesn't have at home, new friends to make and fun things to do there.

Just give him a big hug, kiss and I love you when you drop him off. Tell him you'll see him after a while and leave it at that. Keep it simple. While you are at work, call about 2-3 hrs later and have them check with his care giver how he is doing. Depending on how long you'll be gone, check again a couple hrs after that. It will make you feel better knowing he is having a good day his first day there!

Good luck to you guys!!

S.

No...you're not over the top. Coming from a mother who cried in the parking lot for 10 minutes and had to fight with myself to drive off every morning for a week. What made it worse is my daughter would pitch a fit every morning and beg me not to leave her. She'd cling to me and have to be drug away by the teacher. But then I talked to the teacher one day and asked her how long did she cry after I left and they laughed and said a minute. Then she's off playing with the kids. I noticed a few times I'd get in the room and she didn't see me right away and she was right at home playing and having a great time. That made me feel better. Now I have no more guilt trips and I know she's safe. If she gets sick or hurt, they call me immediately. I just feel better about it, but the first few weeks were rough. And my husband thought I was off my rocker too. They're just men, but don't let them fool you...my husband about died when he had to take her one day the first week and saw her pitching the fit. LOL.

~R.~

My 18-month old son has been going to daycare since he was 6-weeks old. Even though he's been going for so long, he still gets excited as soon as he sees me walking to his classroom. He'll get an excited & surprised look on his face & yell, "MAMA!!" or "MOMMY!!" As soon as I pick him up, he's offering kisses, ready to go. There are days, too, where I almost have to drag him out of there kicking & screaming, but that's a good sign..he likes being there.

Being at the daycare, he's learning stuff that I'm not even aware of all the time. I use to do the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" with him and then it dropped off for a while. I started doing that with him a few weeks ago and he was doing a lot of the motions with me! I was floored!! I love watching him do the motions to the different songs and it's all stuff he's learned at daycare.

I will admit to you that there are days I can't stand having him in there and I want him out, but things are better for us since he's gotten older. (It was feeing & digestive issues for us) He seems to really enjoy being there, although there are days I'd much rather stay at home with him. There are also some mornings when he doesn't want Mommy to put him down, but I know that before I'm back in my car, he's playing away.

You'll be fine, and I'm sure you'll see him grow in other ways once he's there. Good luck!!

I wish I could offer you advice, but I truely don't have any. All I can say is you are not alone in your fears. I have an 11 month old and am due in a little over 2 months with my 2nd. I know I have to go back to work after this baby ( I was lucky to get to stay home this 1st year with my daughter). I have nightmares every night and cry every time i think about putting them in daycare. I know in my heart it will be alright, but you are so right. This is your baby. My husband doesn't really understand either, though he has admitted some fears. I think your husband may have them too but not be saying. So all I can say is you are not over-reacting. You are an obviously concerned mom who loves her son. That is soemthing to be proud of. I can say that you should check out the place beforehand. I read a book with stuff on choosing a daycare, and it suggested a couple things I think are pretty reassuring and may help you feel better. It sugested asking how often the children are read to and when, to see how stimulating the child's day would be. It also suggested making a few stop-ins at various times during the day to see how things are going. The final suggestion was to come by at a time when parents are usually picking up their kids and ask the other parents how they feel about the place and any troubles they may have had. I wish I could say something to ease your fears more, but I truely do understand how you feel and hope you can successfully make the transition. Let me know how you do it. I will be going through this myself in a few months.

Hello Lona. I do understand what you are going through, but also I'm going to let you know it is going to be alright!
I am a childcare provider and I am very experienced with mom's that never had their child in childcare. First,most important is the childcare you choose.Your child has to be happy and confortable where he is. Once you see your child with a smile going to daycare and comming home with a smile it will ease your mind. Children need to interact with other children and adults, it develops their social skills. One thing I can guarantee you!!!, it will not effect the bond between you and your son! You are mommy, and that will never change. But you want him to connect with his provider, he needs to feel confortable and loved. It is a good thing if he likes his teacher, as long as he is happy, be happy for him. Very important is also for you to develop a good relationship with the childcare provider, communication is very important!!!! I wish you the best and for things to work out! If you ever have questions please feel free to ask. G.