My Son Is Not Safe

Someone at school has to be informed - I might start with the school counselor, who might be able to help your son problem-solve this in confidence and who can hear your concerns about possible retaliation against your son for telling. Of course your son wants this so remain a secret - it's embarrassing for anyone to admit they are being bullied! If it were me and you for some reason judged that it was not safe to approach the school with this (e.g., is this kid or his friends gang involved? Capable of physcially hurting him?), I'd consider moving him elsewhere and then enrolling him in some sort of martial arts training program so that he could 1) gain some confidence, and 2) defend himself and learn how to handle being bullied.

ADVOCATE FOR YOUR SON! If you don't stand up for him, who will? And I know he doesn't want you interfering, but if you don't, who's to say what could happen from here that could affect him his whole life!? Try talking to him some more and make sure he understands that whatever this other person is doing is NOT ok and needs to be stopped...then go to the school...if teacher won't listen, go to principal...then to superintendent, then board if you need to...If this is a serious enough problem, it definitely needs to be stopped. Good luck...you and your son are in my thoughts.

Dear L.,

First let your son know the person who told you should be considered his "NEW BEST FRIEND"....better that he is a little mad, then continue to be hurt by a bully or worse. Yes let the school know and resolve this problem before it get bigger.

Talk to your son and let him know how much he is loved and no matter what happens in his life (even when you don't agree or necessarily approve), you will alway be his mom and he can come to you.

Keep us posted....Blessings...

Updated

He needs your help even if he doesn't want it. Talk to the school (principal, teachers, etc) if that doesn't help you may need to find a new school for him if the situation is bad or if it escalates. Put your sons feelings and future above all else...God Bless!

I know it can be a hard life out there..and some kids are just MEAN! Is this kid bullying your son? That seems to be going on a lot nowadays.

I've spoken to my son about those type of situations and never to feel afraid to tell me or anyone else. I'm sure your son is feeling all different types of emotions right now. I would remind him that you're there to help him and always free to talk about whatever he may be feeling or concerned about. I'd try to find out who this kid is. I would DEFINITELY have your son talking to you as much as he can. Even a therapist...sometimes therapy can do it's trick.

talk to the school and let them know what is going on let them watch and catch the kid in the act. you might have to change his school.

Whoever this person is that he confided in who then came to you, was probably concerned enough about your son that they felt you needed to know so you could help him. Your son needs to hear that, even if he doesn't understand it or believe it now. He needs to know that there is help out there if he is willing to seek it out and be open to it, that there are people who care and want to see him succeed, and that no matter what is happening right now or how bad things seem, it does get better.

You need to talk with your son's teacher or teachers, as well as the school guidance counselor, to find out more about what is going on and try to get your son the help he needs.

call the school immediately and tell them what you know, they will take care of it. Bullying is really a hot issue in schools now and they make sure that it is stopped. They will do it in a way that helps instead of hurts.

One you have to explain to him that if someone is hurting him and he allows it to continue it will only get worse. Then you need to make him tell you and if he doesn't go to the school, talk with the teacher and see if she/he has an idea of who it might be. Then request a conference with this child and the parents along with administrator. This has to be solved before your child feels helpless and does something everyone will regret. If you don't get the response from the school, go to the school board. Be an advocate for you son and make sure the problem get solved. If this child is hurting your son he/she is probably doing this to others. Make it you business to stop this now.

I work in middle school and I am often placed in situations where I see this and am able to do something about it. I am sure there are counselors in the school and you can step up to the plate (quickly) and discuss this with them. There are adults (myself included-wish it was your school) and I have been placed in situations where I have been protective of children in various behavior situations. But like someone else said, you need to be proactive for your son.There are bullying situations in life, but the schools are now prepared for this, there have been programs about bullying and police talks, liasons, etc, who step in and he can and must be protected. Stepping in now will be a good idea whether he is embarrassed or not, there are too many children who have suffered worse because no one did.