My Son Is in Period of Rebelling and It Gives Me Headaches

Updated on March 08, 2011
A.B. asks from Salt Lake City, UT
4 answers

My son is nearly six months old. He is very rebellious. At home, if we point out his mistakes or something he does wrong, he will talk back or even try to hit us. He is also very curious. If we tell him: don’t do this, don’t do that, because it’s very dangerous, he won’t listen to us. In the kindergarten, he seems overactive and unable to pay attention to something. And what’s more, he often breaks the discipline of the kindergarten and refuses to take a nap at noon; he likes chatting with other children, so the other children cann’t take a good nap. Could you guys tell me how to deal with a child in a period of rebelling.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Portland on

I urge you to read some parenting books and develop a consistent way of disciplining him. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Farber and Elaine Mazlish will help you communicate better with him. 1,2,3 Magic is another one that can help you develop a way of parenting. I also highly recommend Parenting Through Love and Logic by Foster Cline and ?

He needs a few firm rules with consistent consequences for disobeying them. The consequences should be as close to natural as you can make them. For example, when he talks back you can send/take him to his room and tell him he has to stay there until he can come out and apologize. Make and enforce this rule, calmly and without anger. You will have to repeat the same thing over and over until he knows you mean business.

Do you hit him when he misbehaves? If so, I suggest you'll have to stop hitting him. He's only doing what you've shown him to do when he disagrees.

First of all, I recommend that you stop thinking of him as rebelling. Instead consider that he's searching for boundaries, a normal step in maturation. By changing the way you think of him you will be better able to maintain your cool and not get upset with him. To be effective discipline needs to be given in a calm, firm but unemotional manner.

Give him approval every chance you get. Spend more time telling him what he's done right than what he's done wrong. He very much wants your approval. When he thinks good about himself he will be better able to be good. When possible reward good behavior and either ignore or provide a natural consequence for bad behavior.

I've found that I can end some behaviors by completely ignoring them. Whining is an example. I say, "I cannot hear you when you whine," the first few times/days. After that, I don't hear them. Same with name calling. I tell them, I don't respond to those names. When a child calls me a name, I turn and walk away. In my experience, most children call names or say mean things to get attention. When they don't get the attention they stop doing that and try something else.

Speaking of attention, your son needs lots of love and attention. Is it possible that his behavior has reached the point that most of your time with him is spent in anger and unhappiness? IF so, find ways to have fun with him. Give him attention when he's being good so that he doesn't have to act out to get your attention.

Parenting is the most difficult job we have and yet we don't get training to do it. This is why it's so important to take parenting classes and read parenting books and to ask questions on this site.

Provide opportunities for him to explore so that he won't have to do the dangerous things.

6 moms found this helpful

L.G.

answers from Eugene on

He needs to learn inner discipline. Take him to a martial arts class for the next several years and let him earn one belt after the other as he builds his skills.
He's 5 1/2 that is a good time to let him begin to train. It'll build a strong muscular body for him and he will learn how to concentrate. Martial arts also teach respect.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Stop talking about his mistakes all the time and praise him for what he does RIGHT.

Lots of 6 year olds can't nap any more by kindergarten age. They should be offering him something else to do.

I completely agree with Marda. Your son is not rebelling; there is nothing wrong with him. You need to change your parenting style.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I agree to focus on the positive. Also, be sure you are 100% consistent. When my kids talked back, they got an automatic time out. For a while, it seems to get worse, but once they realized that it just gets them in trouble it calms down some. He just needs to know that the rules are the rules and don't change because of what he does.

As far as kindergarten, talk to the teacher. Is it full day? Is it really 'nap time' or is it 'quiet time'? When I taught full day K, we had about 20 minute of quiet time after lunch, but kids really don't need real nap time... anyway, since that's not the only problem, talk to the teacher about what she expects and how she can communicate to you how he's doing.

Also, just be patient. Kids go through this stage. I know you want to pull your hair out right now, but being firm and consistent and patient is really the best way to get through it :)

1 mom found this helpful
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions