My Son Is Having Seperation Issues

Hi R.,
I also have a 3 year old boy. He was in home day care until recently. He began complaining of stomach aches that would majically go away if he stayed with mom or he would have meltdowns. He would say that he loved his caregiver but I couldnt understand why he was reacting this way. What I realized is that he was getting bored, didnt have enough physical and mental stimulation. I looked into pre-school and he is loving all of it. They have a nice playground, time for creative work, social relationships, structure, around kids his own age, and he seems to be thriving in this environment. BOTTOM LINE....dont forget to listen to your instincts, moms know and dont feel crazy! Do make sure that through the changes, he has a structured routine with you, that will help him. Changes are hard for everyone, so what I found is that if I accept those hard times and look at it as part of life and teach my toddler that, then he will know that it is okay and you are there for him. Things can fall apart around you, but togetherness/holding to your relationships first will always outweigh anything that is going on. I bought a magnetic calander for the refrigerator where I plan out our time together also. You will get through this time and know that you set the tone in the house. take care!
A.

Hi R., it sounds like to me as a mother that something has changed from the friend to the family member. maybe the family member is treating him different, or is not giving him attention. i would change him to someone else. my daughter did the same thing she is 3 1/2 and it turned out that she was being yelled at alot for not being quiet and so on well what do you exspect they are only 3. and i went off of my daughter and now she is so happy. something is going on at that house. i would change sitters and see what happens. because the sitter is going to lie and say everything is great when its not. i wish you good luck i have been there and my child is so happy now.

I believe he is afraid of something. Is there some new care taker at the day care? Try to talk to him about it or ask him to draw a picture of what he is afraid of. Maybe someone told him that if he talks about it they will hurt him or his family, which is why he won't talk baout it. I believe when a 3 year old suddenly changes his behavior toward something, it is not a stage. There is something or someone that is frightening him. It's better to be safe than sorry...Good luck.

Hi R.,

I know it's been a while since you posted, but I am just catching up. Something I do for my kids when they have separation issues is I give them their own book that has photos and words in it. I've found it helps them to know that I'm coming back. The link to make the books is www.bookyourphotos.com It helped my little ones A TON! And now their personal books are their favorite books!

Hi R.,

My son went through something like that every time we changed something in our routine (my work hours, new baby sitter at the gym...etc) What seemed to work best is giving him a little forcast for the day: This is what we are doing today, breakfast, dress, brush teeth, go see Miss Star at the gym...) Then he felt like he knew what was coming. I don't know if this helps, but best of luck!

With my second child, I've been blessed to work at home. I LOVE it! My husband and I just work out our schedules together and it is GREAT! Is that something you could do? I do Pampered Chef myself, but there are many at home options out there.

M.
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