Not Enjoying Being a SAHM

I am a SAHM also. They way I keep from going crazy is to take my kids to the library and to make crafts with them. I have a 5, 3, 9 month. So I hope this helps.

Mommy, you need to meet some other SAHMs. There are plenty of groups out there. We all go through similar feelings. It sounds like you need some friends with the same problems you have!

Hi C.:

Have you ever thought about joing a moms group. I joined a wonderful organization call MOMS Club International. They are a non-profit organization designed for Moms Offering Moms Support! It is by far the best thing I have ever done. They have chapters all over the US, and Canada. You can find a chapter near you by visiting momsclub.org and clicking on Finding a Chapeter Near You. The club is so great, they have a calendar with montly events and activities. It has been the best way for me to get out of the house and talk with other SAHM's and for my 2 year old to meet other kids. I was going through the same thing, going stir crazy about a year ago when I joined. Hope this helps. - H.

I totally know how you feel. I think I'm going to lose my mind sometimes, but then I realize I wouldn't want the stress of having to be at a job and juggle kids all day.

What I do to make it through long days is plan a morning activity like going to the library, little gym, or on good days the park or a walk. I even go to PetsMart store so my son can look at the animals for sale since the zoo is too cold! I always find some errand that needs to be done if I'm out of options. Then I go somewhere fun for lunch and by the time we get home everyone is fed, tired and ready for a nap.
That gives me a couple hours to myself.

I wouldn't worry about asking your husband for help. He may not get too much free time, but you NEVER get a break when you're at home with the kids. Just make sure to help him out with things too.

Good Luck

First of all, you may have a misconception that SAHM means "I don't have to work", which is totally false. If your husband is at work 70 hours a week, you are at work 70 hours a week. Any time you have him home, he should be helping as much as he possibly can. It's not easy, I often have the same problem. Do what ever you can to find quiet moments when needed, but I find that I do my best when I lose myself in the work and enjoy having my kids around. I try to get them to "help" with what ever I can think of.
I remember when my husband was in school and gone as much as yours. You need to get time away. I suggest joining a gym with an hourly day care that you can drop them off at. Or get a babysitter to go shopping for an hour, or something like that.
Just remember how hard it is for you, their mom, who loves them more than anyone. I just couldn't imagine giving someone else the responsibility in your place. Don't give up! They need you!

I hear ya on stir crazy. I didn't particularly like it either. I did love being with my kids just not 24/7 so we went to the Y daily, found a play group - our school district has a family resource center where you can go and meet with other parents, do groups, or just come in and play so you can have a change of scenery. I also found if I spent time with them - usually outside hiking or walking in the woods for a while in the morning they would give me more space when we got home. My kids are 6,4,and 2 and all understand mom needs space. Usually, I use this time to read something or take a bath. It took me a while to get them to understand it but now they get it and I hear them telling each other that when they need space which is neat. We set up an art space and a play area so they can go into those spaces whenever they want and use them. Sometimes cleaning up is hard, but I am big on them needing to take some responsibility - as long as I direct my 2 year old does it, too. It helped to talk to my older two about being part of the house team for cleaning and helping with tasks. I also found other mom's in my area who wanted some space too and we swapped kids. So one day I had 5 and she was free for a few hours and one day I was. That was really helpful! Hope this helps. Have a great day & remember you can't take great care of them if you don't take care of you. S.

I feel for you! I've felt a bit of that and I only have ONE (and he naps twice a day) Remember that even though you want to give your hubby alone time that your kids need daddy time too. Especially boys.

Maybe try a silly game every morning, like silly dance hour. Turn up the music and dance as silly as you can. Chances are you'll end up laughing like crazy and getting a little excersize as well. The boys might start looking forward to it. Have an indoor picnic. Spread out a blanket and put your lunch in a picnic basket. Maybe even make paper ants to join you. Fill the plastic pool with shredded paper (on top of a tarp) and let em dive in. Start a little pre preschool for your boys, do crafts and teach them about snow, make snowflakes to put on the wall and windows. You're a teacher, teach your boys. Practice a skit and perform it for daddy when he gets home. Build forts of cushions and pillows and fight imaginary dragons with sock balls. Go for an ocean expedition on the cushions and look for whales. Show them pictures of sealife on the computer or in books and draw pictures of them.

All of these ideas are good in theory only, I know, my son is only 8 months but I'm getting excited to do them so why not your boys. :)

Keep your chin up your being a fabulous mom and doing a great and important work.

Being a SAHM is not easy. My husband worked 110 hours last week - it's busy season - so I know where you are coming from. My advice - find time for you without the kids. At least once a week. Even if it's only an hour to have lunch in peace or a quick coffee or a nap. Find a sitter or swap out with friends. You NEED to do this to be the best mom you can be. If you don't take care of yourself first then you won't be able to care for the kids. Whenever I have a quick break I come back smiling. Talk with your husband if you are feeling "guilty" about asking him to be dad when he is home so that you can get a quick break from your full time job as mom. Even if he stays with the kids while you run out to pick up dinner take out. You'll be alone in the car with the music blasting and no one whining at you! It's a joy! My husband actually likes the one on one time with the kids. It's hard for him to shift gears, but sometimes if I don't leave the house then the kids will default to me to care for them. He could be sitting right next to them and they'll come into another room to ask me to get them juice. Forcing them to bond is a good thing. Then by the end of the night they want daddy to put them to bed and mommy can skip it for once. Again - a joy! You deserve a break. Find a way to take it - for your families sake.

I have been having the same problem but I only have 1 boy who is 14 months. but I joined cafemom.com and there are local groups there and there are like 10 of us that meet at the mall 2 or 3 times a week let the kids play in the play area for a while then we go have lunch there and then we all walk to get some excercise. its a great way to get to know some new people the kids can play and be out of your hair for a while and you can actually have an adult conversation. also about once a month we get together at someones house have lunch and let the kids play that is also really nice.

Hi, So glad to hear I am not alone on this. It has taken years for me to see and understand I NEED to stand up for myself to get alone and me time and actually ASK my husband to help. At first I was constantly thinking.."poor him he has been working all day..he needs down time more than me" WRONG! We both have been working all day in different ways. I have resently had another talk about the fact that I NEVER get to sit down and "veg out" while he puts the kids to bed...that just doesn't happen but how many times has he been sitting on the couch or in front of the computer while I bathe the kids put them to bed and do the dishes. This is the reality for many of us. However after letting him know that I am just as tired as him and really need his help until all the chores are done things have changed a little. He actually has been helping with night dishes and when he is sitting down to relax I ask him to wait until the kiddos are in bed. He is getting it slowly but before I was just doing it all and thinking it was okay but the resentment started to build. My first suggestion would be to communicate what you need, next set up a for sure time to get out even once a week.In return your husband can have a night out also and find baby sitters!!! Once a month or twice at least...plan a date night. Sometimes we get so cought up in logisitcs of marrage we forget it is the relationships that keep us going. Also, counseling has helped us over the years to work this out with another person observing and adding input. Good luck and remember most of all...put your oxygen mask on first, then others when the plane is going down.

Your husband needs to be a part of the family. If you don't ask him to help more, you will become resentful and your marriage may be in jeopardy. At this time in your lives helping means helping with the kids and with the house. You can't and shouldn't have to do everything. If you haven't filled your bucket, how can you help your family? You are not doing any favors to anyone to not take care of yourself as well as everyone else. Who cares if a 3 and 2 year old don't want to go to the gum. They will have a good time and you will be a better mom for going and feeling happy. It's easy to give to others and not to yourself. Don't be a shell of the person you once were. Your family deserves the best you. Your husband can and is probably willing to help for a small moment each day while you recharge somehow. Good luck.

HI Chistina,
I am a SAHM as well of 5 wonderful girls. Before I had my twins (and it was easier to go somewhere) we would always check out our local libruay to see what they had going on, lot of times they would have plays and stuff for kids. Now that it's harder to get out with all 5 I have found a wonderful Magazine/website. It's called Familyfun. Or WWW.Familyfun.com It has so many ideas as far as crafts and partys and everything to keep you and your kids active. But I'm sure you can find things in your area to do. Like before in the winter we would go to the movies, or musums, and in the spring/summer we go to parks and zoos, lakes. Have you tried bowling? That's a fun indoor activity for your kids. Good Luck keeping busy!

C.,

You sound like me, you want the best for your family, which is you; however, you are not fulfilled because you are such a diverse person with much to offer not just to your family, but to others.

Have you considered an Arbonne business. It's home-based, and the income potential is unreal. . .you might be able to get your hubby to cut back on his hours and have some real family time.

Let me know.

I've never responded to anyone's posts before but yours sounded too familiar. I also am a SAHM of four. 6,5,2,1. My husband works the regular 40 hours a week but he does have other responsibilities that take him on Tuesdays and some Thursdays. I have found that making play dates or also known as adult play time has helped during the cold months. Even if you have to hire a babysitter to get out and do something for yourself it's highly recommended because when mommy aint happy aint nobody happy :)

You are not alone. I have struggled with being a SAHM at times. I also have two children ages 3 and 20 months. I think the best advice I can give you is to make time for yourself. I know when I burn the candle at both ends trying to be the best mom I can be and the best wife I can be without thinking of myself I end up being so grumpy I even can't stand myself. You need to invest in "you" time so you have energy for your family. Some activities I participate in are MOPS(Mothers of Pre-schoolers)once a month, Toddler Time on Monday Mornings and Bible Study at my church once a week. I also do a kick-boxing class with my best friend one night a week. It helps me feel good about myself and is time without the kids. I do have a part time job with BeautiControl, an in-home spa company, but I do that when it fits in my family's schedule. My husband also works a lot. He just started his own business so his hours can be flexible but it can be stressful. I know the feeling of not wanting to ask for help. Believe me you need to ask....if it can't be your husband then maybe ask a family member or a friend. Don't try to be super mom when it's eating you up inside. I hope that helps a little bit. Take care!

C- Many parallels between us. I have a girl who is three and a son, 7 months. My husband works near the same hours. The only day he has off for sure is Sunday and it's tough for me to get out and do things those days because it's good family time. I taught for eight years and stayed at home full time with our daughter. I began subbing the next year and have kept subbing. I scrapbook like crazy when I can. Most of my sub money goes towards daycare. I knew before the year started that it would but that I also would get a break. Subbing allows me to take the kids to daycare about three days a month even when I'm not subbing. Having that time for me has made a huge impact for our family. I can get stuff done....run errands without hauling two little bodies around, TAKE A NAP, clean the house, and SCRAPBOOK. I'm also trying to teach myself how to sew. That way when it's just me and the kids I can devote a lot more time to them because I'm not having to stop spending time with them to do laundry etc. I trust our child care and both kids really like it. If you can find child care that even can take the boys for a morning and not pay too much, your whole world will brighten. Okay, I'm getting long winded....I've never even responded on a site before but our situations are so similar I feel for you. Matter of fact, my husband took our little girl to church this morning so I could get a break while our son takes a nap. On a side note we got a mini trampoline with a bar to help our three year old burn energy. We have a ton of snow and we can't get outside as much. We have taken her skiing but it's tough to do with the little one and the cost. She also loves any game like Elefun where you have to be moving around. The "Mission of Motherhood" is a good book to help put things in perspective on days when the last thing you want to do is stay at home. Best Wishes!!!

Hi C.,

I am a SAHM too and have to admit that at times it is very overwhelming. I would suggest to find a moms club in your area. This group has helped me with activities for the kids and have play groups for all age groups. This also gives me a chance to socialize and connect with other moms who go through the same joys and challenges of being a SAHM. Check out the website www.momsclub.org. I do know a couple moms club that are in the area and are not listed on the site. Feel free to email me and I would be glad to help. Also as hard as it is at times take some time whether it is to drink a cup of tea or absolutely doing nothing for 5mins.

My daughter is a real estate agent, and recent new mom to twins with a one year old as well.... I know just how hard it is to be a stay at home mom... When we have family get togethers she always says that it is pass the baby time... But, now her mom and I take days of the week when daughter can shop, or lunch with a couple of friends, or take in a movie with hubby... No cost, it is called Gramma time.... I so much look forward to Tuesday every week, even with 3 week old twins... My home or theirs. Hopefully you live close to both moms and are on excellent terms with them... Or sisters... If not in the daytime, then evenings.... This might now work for everyone, but think it over, there are other ways, too....

A little about me: I am mother of 4, grandmother of 4, married 45 years, work parttime. Love being granted an afternoon or evening a week with the grand kids. No favorites here, each has a special time with Grampa and Grama....

I agree with C. C. Your children's healthy growth and development depends on your happiness. "If Mommy ain't happy, aint nobody happy!"LOL!

I have always been a SAHM, since my daughter was born 13 years ago (now I work from home, and occasionally sub), and I have loved every minute of it! I think if I wouldn't have been happy, it would have been awful for everyone! The winter months are hard when your stuck in the house with little ones, but you just have to be creative and do some fun activites to shake the "cabin fever" feeling.

If you have a basement(unfinished works best)set up a sand box, water table,slide, even a swing! Blow bubbles. let them ride their bikes ect...

The winter blues can also be helped with light therapy. You can buy these lights to sit under all over.

But, all us moms can give you all the creative activity ideas and support we know, but if this truly is not for you it will not work. I will be the first to support a SAHM, because I feel it is wonderful for the whole family, but it may not be for everyone. If you still feel you are unhappy, think about going back to work. Our schools have even hired part-time teachers. Or get a evening job for a few hours each week, while the kids are in bed and a sitter is cheap.

Anyway I hope I've helped some.GL with whatever you decide to do!

This is why people say being a young mom is the hardest time of life...why don't you find some fun activites to do with your children inside...they will never want to be with you more than at this time of life...just like that song, "The Cat in the Cradle". Forget yourself and spend fun, quality time with your kids, and really try to get down to their level. I promise your additude will change and you will enjoy your days much more, than trying to find ways of getting away from them. You won't feel as guilty either.

Good luck and have some fun!

N.

I hear you, I have 7 kids, and thought I was reading a post from myself, your right the winter months are always the hardest, because outside activities are so limited. My husband works just like your husband so I very rarely ask for his help also, but I am learning how to ask for help, I keep it limited but if I need milk, I'll have him watch them, and during the drive I turn Up the radio and sing and act silly, I don't care who see's me I will probably never see them again :). I have discovered how to eek time out of the simplest day to day jobs.

Activities..... arts and crafts, finger paints, go to educational stores they have lots of fun stuff that are educational, yes there is a mess, but if they are entertained for five minutes, so that you can go to the bathroom on your own then it is well worth it!

Winter won't last forever....I hope.

C. C and Katie said just about everything I was thinking. Enroll the kids in Mom's Day Out (Westwood, King of King's, Westside, etc all have them) to get at least one morning a week to yourself. Join a MOMS Club...it was the best thing I did. I HAVE to keep busy and meet other moms to keep my sanity. There's also mom's groups on meetup.com or myomahamommies online. There are also message boards on MSN for Metro Omaha Parents...etc. There's a lot of places out there to meet other moms, do things with other kids, join playgroups, etc.
Get a part time job if you have...perhaps at Archiver's or Michael's...just to get some time to yourself and be around something you like to do..plus you'll get good discounts and ideas!
Talk to your hubby about how you feel...your job is just as important and his and it's important for you to both share the household duties and babysitting duties.

C.,
Congratulations! You have been awarded the gift of raising two wonderful gifts. It is not something that is awarded to all women.
The Camelot community center has open gym (free) M,W, F 10-12.
St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Church has a playgroup that meets on Tues from 9-11a.m.
A MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) meet every 1&3rd or 2nd & 4th thur. at Trinity Interdenominational Church fee is nominal with childcare provided to you.
I think that the best suggestion I can offer you is a change of perspective. Because you can attend all of these activities ( as I do )but still feel the way you do. May I recommend a book to you. The Continuum Concept by Jean Leidloff. It is more of an anthropological read, but very interesting. it changed the way my husband and I approached parenting. I think it will inspire you( and isn't that what we all need from time to time). God Bless your endeavors.T. Keating

I remember feeling like that when my kids were around that age. It is very difficult with your husband gone. One thing you have to remember, though, is that even though he is a very busy man, he is also your husband and father of your children, and it is natural for you to want him to do his part in thoughs roles as well. My husband was going to school when we were at that stage in life, and I seriously thought I would go made being home with my two girls all the time. I tried to express this concern to him, though I know I did a pour job of it. But I think he finally got that I was in trouble, and decided to take a semester off of school. He was then only working 50-60 hrs a week, which was still a lot, but being able to see him and have him be a bigger part of our lives made a huge difference. I think you need to talk with your husband. See if there can be any adjustments made in schedules. Find a way to get some time to do something for your self every week, a sport, or a class. Your family will be much happier for it.

Also, when your kids get older and in school, your life opens up again. You at least have other mom friends from school, and you have a little more time to your self. Plus, as they get older and have different activities, your life gets more diversified, and you get out more. Plus, I think we all grow into the role of mom. It takes a while to be able to see how to define ourselfs as mom, and know what that means to us. Good luck.

Have you looked for moms clubs in your area? I joined my areas MOMS Club and it's great! It's a club geared for SAHMs and has activities during the day when you need it most and kids are included/welcome at all the activities. Once a month we go out without the kids for Moms Night Out. I've made lots of friends and my kids really enjoy getting out and making new friends. And membership fees are cheap (my chapter is $25 a year) and activities are usually free or inexpensive. You can check to see if there is one in your area at www.momsclub.com

There's another group called MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). I'm not a member, but some of the women in MOMS Club are. www.mops.org

I know it's hard to ask your husband for help, but remember they are his kids, too. You are also working a full-time job with the kids, so just because you don't get paid doesn't mean it's not work. You need a break, too. I find that I'm a lot happier (which makes my husband and kids happier) if I get a little time to myself - whether that's 15 minutes alone in my bedroom or an evening out with friends. Maybe ask your husband if he'll put the kids to bed by himself one night a week or take the kids to the park or mall or just for a drive for 30 minutes on weekend morning.

Try kindermusik, a MOPS group...this gives you a break, joining a gym with day care so you can exercise and have time without the kids. Or if you can afford it, just hire someone one or two mornings....make sure you are home for nap time. Staying at home can be really boring and lonely and I too get sick of drumming up stuff to do...it takes too much energy. If you have something each week that is fun to look forward to, that will help you get through the winter. And don't forget to pray for contentment. :0)

Hi C.,
I know how you feel. I stayed home with my daughter for a couple years and almost went crazy! I felt guilty about not enjoying it, asking for "me" time, and not feeling like I could do it. You MUST get "me" time. Schedule it!!!!! Every week you have a couple hours to do something for you. If you can't afford a sitter, try and find someone that you could "kid swap" with. They watch your little darlings once a week, and you do the same for them. The biggest part is: SCHEDULE IT!!! Put it on the calendar. Make it a priority. Otherwise you will continue to suffer, and your kids and husband will suffer too. If you want to do what is best for them, make some "me" time. It will make you a better mommy. I speak from experience!! Hang in there and good luck!

C.,

Regardless of how much your hubby works, you should not feel guilty about having him help around the house. He helped create this family too. Maybe you could get involved in some Mommy and me classes at the YMCA or something.

One important thing: you need to take care of yourself. It may be a bubble bath after the kids are in bed or when hubby comes home or a trip to the spa, but you need to find some "me" time. Hubby DOES need to help with things. It is his home too. Remember being a SAHM is a full-time job, well over 70 hours.

For the afternoons, bundle the kids up and let them play outside. If it is bitter cold, find a fun game to play safely inside. You can also have them help you with chores. Obviously they are young and can't do a lot, but they can put clothes in the basket or put cups on the table. Make it into a game...see who can throw the socks into the hamper and give them points for each one they get.

Hope this helps.

L. :)

It sounds to me like you need to take time out for you. Set aside a little time and do something that you love doing. Get a baby sitter for an hour or two and enjoy yourself. Your children will appreciate you more when you get back and you will enjoy them more, too. Also, have fun with your kids! Play, read, teach, do fun things together. Use your imagination to think up things they and YOU will like. If your husband can be included , so much the better.

I commend anyone with the fortitude to be a SAHM. I'm the first to tell you that I could not do it. I understand your hubby works 70+ hours a week, but you do realize you work 168 hours a week, right? That's the tough part about being a SAHM - there is no end to your workday, no weekends off.

First, I wonder if you need to talk with your hubby about having some time set aside for "daddy and me". even 2 hours every saturday so you can sleep in, or catch up on laundry or go out to Starbucks & get a cup of joe & read the paper... whatever... If you were BOTH in the workforce, he would have to make time to pitch in, and just because you are not in a paid position does not preclude you from needing breaks in your work, know what I mean?

I hope I don't get flamed for saying this, but IMHO, if you think you need some time outside the home beyond this - whether it be substitute teaching, teaching part of full time, or even doing something completely different - like working retail or waiting tables - you may want to consider doing it.

Even 10 hours a week of grown up time working at your favorite retail shop might be just the thing you need to give you a break from your routine. If it turns out that you want to go back full time & that your salary basically only covers the cost of their child care... so be it. As a teacher, you would still have entire summers with your children. Your sanity & happiness is important - and it ultimately will affect your ability to be an effective parent. If you think spending time outside the home will make a positive change in your life, then why on earth would you let the financial aspect cloud your ability to be a more effective, happier parent?

Just my 2 cents,

xtina

I am also a stay at home mom and I can understand the feeling of monotony. I am able to work part time at home and that has really saved my sanity. I am not sure what kind of teaching you have done, but maybe you can start tutoring a few hours a week or start a preschool in your home. Even if it only covers babysitting costs those few hours a week will allow you to be with your children the vast majority of the time and also have a bit of away time at a job you hopefully enjoy. Also, check the local paper and internet for activities for children and mommy groups. I have found that pretty much all communities have a variety of these groups/activities if you can just find them.

We are in the same boat. I am a SAHM of two little girls, my husband works 60 hrs/week (more in summer and less in winter), and I sub. teach a few days a month. I also get frustrated with being needed so much by my girls. I am trying to teach them that if they can do it by themselves then they don't need to tell me about it. For example: If they sneeze then they can get their own kleenex-don't need to ask me for one. My girls are 6 and 3 years old so a little bit older than your boys.
Before I go to bed I try to write a list of things needed to be done the next day. Planning activities makes it less stressful on me. The library has many different age appropriate activity books. I go stir-crazy if I'm in the house all day so I try to leave the house every day. Even if it is just to drive around. I live in ND so it's cold in the winter and we can't be outside all year round.
I am a part of MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) and I have made many great friends and my girls love going to MOPPETS. We also have different book clubs and playdates throughout the week. Hopefully you have a MOMS or MOPS group near you! These MOPS friends are trustworthy and take care of my girls if I need childcare and Chad is gone for an evening.
My husband and I agreed that he can have a few nights a month for himself and I can do the same. So, two nights a month I get together with friends to scrapbook and I don't need to feel guilty.
Not sure if any of this helps you or not. Just know that there are other moms out there that feel the same way. It gets easier as the kids get older and more independent.

How about join the MOM'S Club of Fruitport or come try out the Jungle Gym class at the Tri-Cities YMCA (you don't have to be a member...just $3/class and you can just drop in at anytime)? Let me know if you want more information on ____@____.com.

I can definitely relate to your concerns. I am a SAHM of 3 boys. 4,3, and 5 months. I definitely feel the pressure of having no "ME" time as well. My husband travels a lot with work, so I understand how you feel like you are doing it all!

My advice is try to get that "ME" time. Even if it is once a week for only a hour or so, you will definitely feel refreshed from having some time away from it all! My only other advice is to develop a personal relationship with Christ. He can get you through anything! He will listen to your frustrations, and will strengthen you in times when you think you can't get through another day. Do you have a MOPS group where you are. They have child care, and is a great time to have some alone time, and relate with other mothers who are going through the same things you are

Good Luck, and God Bless you for staying home with your children!
J. N

My son and I go to Kindermusik once a week. It is great because it gives me a reason to get out of my jammies! We also get home activities to do through out the week. I LOVE the class because it is good for me too. I get to talk to other moms and get ideas about different things from them too. Check out Kindermusik of Holland. I know there are some moms that get together for play groups too on other days of the week. My son and I have not been to any of those yet. We will wait until he is crawling... Good luck! www.holland.kindermusik.net is the website if you are interested!

When my kids were that age, I called the local high schools and placed an ad for some help. I hired a great girl a couple hours a day to help with cleaning and playing with the kids. It helps when someone is around for your own sanity:/

I am sorry to ask a stupid question, but what is SAHM??? I keep seeing this on multiple postings and haven't been able to figure it out!

Being a SAHM can have it's advantages. Why not work from home AROUND the schedule you have available. There are many out there and you should do your homework before choosing one. Some are very expensive and time consuming. The Home Based Business I do isn't expensive, there is no home parties, no selling, and no delivering. If you would like more info call me at ###-###-####.

A. R

Since you are a SAHM, teacher and scrapebooker how about going to your local school resource center for teachers and create some fun educational things for your kids. That will feed your creative and previous teaching years. And the kids will learn something too. I recently went to our resource center and was able to dye cut and laminate several learning tools. I.e. the alphabet and corresponding shapes, animals (anything) that those words started with. I laminated "tickets" that my kids can earn for certain things (i.e. a day out with day, pick what they want for dinner, etc.).

Other then that how about local Y or indoor swimming pool. gymnastics (does the local gymnastics place have opne gym?). The library, there are usually story times.

As fas as giving you some time...ask your husband. This is your job and you need some time off too. If that doesn't work swap babysitting with some friends so you can have an hour or two off a week. Or they may be drop in inexpensive child available in your area. How about moms clubs. It gets you out of the house and some have childcare so that you can attend a speaker session. Good Luck!

Hi C.-
Well, you may just need some time out. Believe me a "J.O.B" isn't going to give you "ME" time either. Find mom groups in the area with kids your childrens ages. Head to McDonald's once a week, let them play, you read. Get a babysitter 1-2 times at least per month for yourself, I am sure a local teenager would love to make a few dollars. Call some friends or make some new ones by joining some clubs, there are some free. Just like they say to schedule in a date night, exercise, and even intimacy, make it a point to schedule--- You time.

I think if you had 2 times out each month with the girls, you would feel like you again.

A JOB will only take more time from you.....

Good luck my dear!

We mothers must not forget that just because it parenting is unpaid labor, that doesn't mean it isn't work! Your husband works, but your work harder because you don't get any breaks at all. At home Moms don't get a 15 minute coffee break, an hour lunch, or even a quiet drive home! Your husband should ultimately understand that you need some 'Me' time if you are going to be the best Mother you can possibly be. And vice versa!

i had the same problem after my first child. I went to work at UPS. I work the early morning shift 4-8:30am My husband is home with the kids in the morning and loves it because that is his special time with them. I started when my fist child was 2yrs old. It is ruff at first for dad but he soon came to cherish that time and i got out of the house and had some adult conversation!!! (plus the benifits are great) UPS may not work for you but maybe something else at an odd hour would. I also swapped kids with my friend for several years. She has 4 and i have 3. This way we each got a day to ourselves and we didn't have to pay a sitter. We had a set day that way we could schedule appt. and the like. Hope this helps.

Oh I hear you. I have three almost 6 3.5 and 10 months. Being a Mom is a thankless self sacrificing, best job in the world. It takes a lot of getting used to to be staying home all the time. Somethings that really help me.

Get up before the kids and excercise, do yoga, or just sit with a cup of coffee and enjoy the quiet solitude.

Find a mother group Like MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) They usually have meetings anywhere from once a week to once a month most of the Moms are going to be stay at home Moms, usually childcare is provided and you get an hour or two to mingle with other women snack on food, do a craft, or be educated by a speaker.

When you go to the park or indoor play place don't be afraid to speak to other Moms there and find out if they know of any sanity saving places or groups out there that might be of interest. Heck you might even make a friend if you just start talking to someone :-)

after the kids are in bed and you've cleaned up the house, again take a few moments to just relax take a warm bath enjoy a special treat, a glass of wine whatever. I feel it's really important to be really concious of doing at least one thing a day that's nice for yourself.

Most of all Don't feel guilty about asking your husband to do something or to help out with the kids. Being a SAHM IS a full time Job too, with no breaks and no vacation.

You are so not alone. I have been a stay at home mom for almost 10 yrs now, and I have gone through the same thing more than once during that time.
My husband also works very long hrs, and by about 3:00 I start getting ready for the day to be over. You just need to remember that you do need to make time for yourself, even if it is only an hr or so. Put the kids down for a nap, and read, or excercise, or call a girlfriend to chat.
As soon as my kids are in bed, i lock myself in my room to watch my favorite shows, or dvd. You could also find a gym that offers child care while you work out for a while.
I have set a "girls night out" day on the second Saturday of every month. My husband knows about it in advance, so he can be home for it to watch the boys. It is amazing how much that helps. I have something to look forward to all month long.

Dont give up, this happens to all of us at some time or another. Just remember that you are privledged to be home with those babys, and dont feel guilty for asking your husband for help. Its a diiferent kind of "work" than what he has been doing all day. Let him give the baths every night, or stories brfore bed. Im sure he would be glad to help out if he knows it will make you a better mom to have a small break.

I'm seeing great ideas in these responses. Lots of churches have moms meetings and babysitting. The main thing is you have got to MAKE yourself go. It's too easy just to stay home.
When I was in your situation I met with some other moms about once a month or more, or less if someone had a special need. We'd get all our story-time over, tuck the little ones in, say good night to the husbands and meet at an all night coffee shop. Just 3 or 4 moms at about 10pm. We'd eat and coffee and talk and talk. Sometimes cry sometimes pray for each other and our babies. It was pretty intense, but we needed it so bad. Sometimes we were home by midnight, sometimes not until 2 or 3. Our men knew where we were, our babies were sweetly sleeping in their own little beds, we had no cares and no need to rush. We really bonded as friends. We really let it all out. It was really refreshing.
If we look to our men to supply all our needs emotionally and spiritually and physically that puts a heavy burden on them and they sometimes resent it. Sometimes they stay longer and longer at work because there is so much pressure at home to meet too many needs. So even he is refreshed if you get refreshed away from home.
Again the main thing is just GO! Do something!

I know how you feel. I was a sahm until my boys went into school then I only worked during school hours until they were older.

My husband was Air Force and gone all the time. He served in Desert Shield/Storm also.

I busted my butt to make sure everything was always taken care of at home so when he did have time there he wasn't crazed with things that needed to be done and could just spend time with kids and me.

Talk to your husband. Every person is different but I found out later that my husband actually felt like I didn't need him because I took care of everything and there was nothing left for him to do but earn money.

Just know that the job you are doing is worth every min of time you don't have to yourself. Although you do need to find me time alone, with husband, girlfriends. You will be suprised to know how little time you will need to regenerate if you keep in mind that you have the BEST job ever and you really will have ALL the time in the world to do things for yourself when they grow up.

Enjoy every stage of their lives. Don't wish for their baby days or for their grown years or you will miss where they are at right now.

My boys are now 18 and 20 and I can honestly say I am thrilled with where they are and love watching them experience life.

I work full time now but I can tell you that anytime you need a break I would be happy to get to know you and hang out with you or once we know each other watch your kids so you can escape.

My advise, take or leave it, is to focus on your amazing kids. Until I worked with the 0-3 population as an early-interventionist, I had no idea what these kids are capable of thinking about, experimenting with, and learning. Get down on the floor with them. See what you can teach them, just in play. New words, new concepts (quantity, size, sounds). Get out some playdough and squeeze it into shapes with them. Blow bubbles. Blow up a balloon, then let it fly around and watch them laugh! (but be careful, it's a choking hazard!) Take the cushions of the couch and let them jump on them, or arrange them into furniture. Kids the age of yours are a ton of fun... allow yourself to enjoy them! Even if daddy isn't around...these are precious years and will quickly be gone! Get to know your kids now, and it will be money in the bank when they start to pull away in adolescence.
Grace & peace to you!

What about putting your children in day care that has a preschool type curriculum as well a couple days a week? It would cost about $100/week for the booth of them and give you some extra time to devout to your on-line business or substiutute teaching. There is also a part time staffing company called From 10 t0 2 that works with many SAHM that want to work part time. Maybe you could start a group in your neighborhood where each mother takes a small group of children for half a day once a week to give other mom's a few hours for themselves. I am sure many women feel the exact same way and would embrace such an opportunity. Good luck!

Hey C.

I don't know if I am supposed to share things like this on this site, but I am so excited about it that I can't help it.
I have a great idea for you. Something I found last year that keeps me sane, keeps me talking to other moms and meeting people and still be home with my kids. I love it so much I just have to share. If interested, email me ____@____.com

I have been going to the indoor pool a couple times a week just to get myself and the kids out and I normally end up having a good time. I also use it as a reward for my 3yr old to get her to clean up her room or behave. She is also enrolled in preschool so I get a few hours of peace in the morning. Hang in there we all struggle with you :)

What works for me is my kids have 2 hours of 'quiet time' in the afternoon and I get 'quiet time' TOO!!! I don't work during those two hours, I do ME stuff. Like blogging, exercising, meditating - anything I WANT TO DO :) My kids can do what ever they want in their rooms as long as they are in their beds quiet. They usually fall asleep. I also just found a Moms Morning Out at a local church. Two days a week I take my kids there for 2 1/2 hours and they have a little "preschool". You give a small donation, I give $10 each time. Call all the churches in your area!!! We also have free together stuff at the local libraries and the local Y's. Hope that helps :)
You may also have some free local play groupsin your area where to can get togehter and talk to other mommies at local venues. Look up your city on Meetups.com