My Son Is Going to Be Seeing a Child Psychologist and I'm SCARED

Gypsy mommy, are you a psychiatrist? How can you "know what her problem is" otherwise? That is scary. People who "don't need anyone telling them what to do" probably need it even more! J. hang in there, you are showing you care more by taking him to get help.

You're taking him to get help - you sound like a great mom! My sister is a child psychologist and the way she explains her job to me is that she does her psych exams, and then works WITH the families to help them. You're doing the right thing and are on the right path. Good for you.

I'd be worried if you didn't get help for him. It'll be fine.

They are there to HELP you not out to GET you. The system is so overloaded they really don't need to go hunting for more cases.

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I would think even if you hadn't heard ANY horror stories you would be scared.

It's scary to think your son might need help.

But know that the definition of COURAGE is to do the right thing in the face of insurmountable fear. That's from a movie I think. Or one of those plaques at Successories.

You are doing the right thing.

So, I have anxiety based OCD and it helps me to play worst case scenario.

I would think they would take him away in only 2 circumstances.

1. YOU have been abusive to your son and you refuse to stop abusing him or get any help.
2. Someone within the close family unit has been abusive to your son. You state out loud or even write a statement that says you plan to continue to keep your son in an active relationship with his abuser, regardless of the effect it is having on your son.

I would think those would be the ONLY reasons you would lose your son. It doesn't sound like either of those are your intentions. So, I wouldn't worry that they will take him away. Even if for some reason they decided he might benefit from some in patient time. But it doesn't sound like he is THAT dysfunctional. And even if they did want to hospitalize him that is ALWAYS temporary and wouldn't affect your custody as long as you are willing to do what is in his best interest.

So far, it sounds like you are very willing to do what's in his best interest, even when it put you out of your comfort zone. That is a good mom.

A bad mom is NOT a mom who can say "this issue is out of my realm of expertise and I prefer to have some help on this one". A good mom says that.

A bad mom is a mom who covers up her sons issues and doesn't seek help for her son because it's in the mom's best interest to hide what is really going on.

I think it's a whole basket of unknowns that has you so scared. And I think those feelings are completely justified.

The only way to combat those kind of fears is to know that what you don't know will help your son so you are going to find out what you don't know.

Please let us know how it goes and if you can think of specific things that would be supportive to you - please do them. A well-rested, well-fed mom will be much stronger to help your son with whatever it is that is going on.

My son also has played with his poop - for about 2 years now. Horrible, huh? He also has ODD, so of course we sought help - what a psychiatrist told us and a family counselor told us - you have to redo potty training - so, he may never be in the bathroom alone - even if it is just to pee - NO PRIVACY for about . . . . well until the habit is broken. Our boy is still pretty sneaky, and has learned to do it at school, to lock the door - well, let's just say - CATCH IT NOW. So, no privacy in the bathroom, tell him he has a habit that isn't a good one and you are going to help him break this habit, make a big deal about how the body is getting rid of bad stuff, its not healthy to mess with poop, how daddy doesn't and no one does and what a smart boy he is and bye, bye poop. Read to him, give him some little toy to play with, make sure he gets LOTS of water so he is well hydrated and plenty of fiber to make sure he isn't constipated, because that may be how it started. He was trying to help the poops out and then got caught up in it. Rule out all physical causes, ask the pediatrician how to soften the stool - also, low muscle tone, in the anus, is also a cause - and when you go to the psyc, be completely honest, write out all your concerns before hand - and realize, YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST TO HAVE THIS SITUATION. Good luck - continue to seek help.

My son sees a psych every month, due to him being bipolar. It was hard to bring him the first time admitting I needed help for him. Now it's the best decision we ever made, because my son is happy, and the good days out weigh the bad. And as far as them thinking your a bad parent, NOT at all, they know how hard it is to bring our kids to them for help, my sons dr never has made me feel that I was a bad parent. Good luck and it will
Be ok

Don't be terrified, you are doing the best thing a parent can do for their child, to seek help for his needs. No one worth their salt will think you are a bad parent because he is being evaluated, and if they do it just goes to show their ignorance in the matter.

Go in with your head held high, confident in your response to the situation, helpful as you can be, willing to work with the psychologist and any other doctors involved in your son's care, and be prepared to work and assist in helping your child as necessary.

God's blessing for your family.

You are not a 'bad' mom because your child might have some problems. You are a 'good' mom because you are taking him for evaluation, and if he does have a problem (beyond typical behavior), you are catching it early and will be able to deal with it before it escalates. The unknown is always a little scary, but take a deep breath and know that you are doing what is best for him and your whole family. (Ignore the horror stories)

I come from a family that is very pro-psychological help, and still believe in that, however I recently read an interview with a former editor of the DSMV-IV (the official listing of psychological problems), and he felt that they had inadvertently encouraged quantifying children's behavior as abnormal and needing medication, when it did not! He cautioned that there are a lot of drug companies making a lot of money based on the DSMV and especially in the case of children, to be very cautious about medication.

They can't take him away. Even with the issues we had with Andy we had to check him in to the hospital. Andy had huge!! anger management issues. At one point he was in the children's psych ward for over a month. Two months later we had to check him in again but they were full. The hospital we did take him to was awful. I went to visit and by the time I was there for thirty minutes I said he is going home with me and they complied.

I doubt they will even suggest hospitalization. Just from what you have posted he seems like he has issues but they don't seem that serious. Just relax at least you will know what is going on.

I just wanted to encourage you and tell you that everything is going to be alright. It's normal to worry about your child, but at least your getting help for something that you notice now and is not ignoring. Your a great mom and no one is going to take your child away from you. Try to think positive and I know that this is hard, but really know that you are helping him. I know some adults now that were ignored and their parents saw that their was a problem, but didn't do anything about it. Your taking action and that's because you love your child. I pray that everything works out for you.

I don't have any first hand experience in this, but as long as no one in the house hold is harming him, I see no reason at all for them to even think about taking him away. The dr's job is to help your son, and in most cases being with mom is the most helpful. The Dr might have ideas to help you and might make some hard suggestions, but it can't be any harder than what you are dealing with day to day. You want what is best for your little boy and having him evaluated is the best thing to do.

Even if for some reason he comes to the attention of CPS, the fact that you are seeking HELP and proper TREATMENT for him (and I assume will act to protect your son if the psych uncovers that his behavior is the result of some one else abusing him) means that they won't try to take him away from YOU.

I think that the possibilty that he's been abused and you've both been betrayed by someone you trust is a real and terrifying one!

I'll be praying for strength for you both!

Believe me, 'they' meaning your Child Psych is NOT going to take your child away. Even if your son reported that he was spanked and you used excessive force to stop him from the poop issue, they would not take him away from. You are actively seeking help. You are not a threat to others, to him or to yourself...unless there's more to the story and you tell them otherwise. You are going to a safe place to find answers, not create more family stress.

You are wise to have this checked out. I hope you find some answers quickly. If you can, please keep us posted, as this is an unusual one for this age. Very delayed fascination.

The main thing that would worry me would be possibly missing underlying physical issues. Any chance of PANDAS (strep related issue)? OCD? Pica (eating weird things)? What's his nutritional status? B vitamin levels? Blood work-up? Any indications of inflammation anywhere? Neurologic issues?

I would not have the worries you mentioned, based on what you said in this post. Of course there could be more to the story. And I could be way off base too. All I know is that if it were my child I would also want to rule out any physical problems that could cause those behaviors.

I'm not a health care provider of any type - this is just my "mom" opinion.

Good luck and I hope you can find some answers and real help for your son.

take a deep breath. the fact your getting him help and having him see someone shows your concern and love for him. they wont take him away. they will talk with you then him then probably you again. good luck and keep us posted.

They will not try to take him away. The psychologist is there to talk to your son about his feelings and just to help him. Only good can come out of this. It is great that you are getting him evaluated. Even if nothing is wrong with your son it can only be a helpful procedure. We had our son evaluated in the past (when he was 5) and the psychologist also had a session with just my husband and I. It was very helpful. Our son is just very extreme about everything. I guess I have never heard any horror stories and just went into it thinking that the psychologist was there to help our family.

You are absolutely doing the right thing by taking him for evaluation. Don't doubt yourself as a great mama, you are doing what you know is best for your son. Best to let a professional help you, than be totally lost if his behavior escalates out of control. At least you're not ready and willing to load your kid off on strangers, like gypsymommy. Breathe deep, and take in all you will hear about your son. Good luck...

My son has an appt tomorrow morning because he is ADHD and we're trying to get the right meds for him. The point in all this is that your son needs some help and you are doing that. Make sure you tell your son ahead of time that he's going to see someone who is going to ask him a bunch of questions and that its VERY important that he tells the truth and answers each one. The only way to really get help for him is to figure out what is really going on. Good job taking these steps for your son, even tho its scary. Good luck!

My 4 year old son recently had a psych eval and I was nervous too, but it went just fine. He didnt know anything was up, he just played games with some people etc...there is no way they are going to take him away! No need to be scared, really. good luck, and let us know what happens!

I read you posts and I do not see anything worth seeing a psychologist for... Overly sexual, what's that? Your boy sounds normal, a bit rebellious, a bit curious, but nothing alarming. Kids do outrageous things sometimes and they are curious about things that come out of their bodies. Kids also very curious what would happen if they brake a rule or two. Boys will be boys. Relax, take a deep breath, kids do not understand or perceive the world the same way adults do. I am sure you will come out more enlightened out of the session with the psychologist. Good luck.

J.,

Take a deep breath. You are doing the right thing for your child to have him evaluated. You have nothing to hide or to be ashamed about. The doctor will see what they need to see and form a plan with you to help your son. The goal for all is to help your son. They dont want to take him away etc. I would think its completely natural to feel really scared and uncertain--because you haven't been through this before. Its unknown territory. Hang in there and let us know what happens!

M

It does sound like something is going on with your child. No idea what it could be. I would be nervous about going to a child psych also. I think it takes some things out of your hands, and could put you in a place where you have to comply even if you don't agree in order to keep your child with you. I'm really not sure how I would handle that situation. Is he in daycare? At home with you ft? What other situations is he in that might be contributing to this? Are you divorced, remarried, etc? Just trying to think of things that might contribute to stress in his life.

Well, my step-daugther is that bad, and everyones says a shrink may help, but I know what her problem is I dpnt need anyone telling me wat I know.

Im simply going to send her to Boarding School. wen she 10yrs, in Tx.

But I think you should give it a try, and if your not likyng the result stop taking him.
Maybe think about Boarding School, that sometime helps, I know sending a child.away to a school like that is horrible.
But you sometimes have to think on whats best for your child.
I hope things get better, I know how hard it is to raise a child like this.

My Step-daugther's 6yr old.
My best Wishes.