I would offer the same advice as Karen, my hubby is Asperger's, and did (still does!) exhibit some of the "perfectionist" and habitual behaviors now that he did as a child. Reread what Karen said and give it some thought. PLEASE do net let the IGNORANCE in the advice sent by the last mom freak you out. I'm sorry to be so rude, but I CANNOT believe that anyone would actually say things like that to you. Plenty of children in this world have some issues, and they DO NOT all end up doing the drastic things that she mentioned. PLEASE don't let that advice get to you, PLEASE. It was foolish, and never should have been said. Remember this, ya'll are in the process of getting him checked out. (IT'S OK, BTW TO WAIT ON THE INSURANCE) And whatever is going on, ya'll will get him the help he needs. DO NOT PANIC!!!!!!!!!! It will be alright! Just take the proper steps, pay attention, give him lots of love and support, keep your eyes and ears open. One step at a time. And there is so much help out there, you just need to find the right direction. It certainly is, in my opinion, not "normal" for a child his age to talk about hurting/cutting himself, burning the house down, etc. So just proceed as planned. And most of all, calm down. Freaking out won't fix anything....
You, your son, and your family will be in my prayers!!!!
****BIG hugs*******