My Son - Shelby,NC

Wow, O., you have actually knocked my breath out with your request. I'm not trying to be unkind, just make an honest observation. I had to read it carefully twice just to figure out what you are asking.

If your life around your son is as fast, frantic, and jumbled, I'm guessing your son may have a combination of problems; speech delays, some sort of hyperactive disorder, sensory integration issues, to name just a few. And some of his challenges may be hereditary. That creates difficulty for him, sure. But every child has challenges of one sort or another to overcome, and that's just the nature of human life.

May I suggest you learn to slow down and pace your speech when speaking to your son. Work on organizing your thoughts into clear ideas. Try to keep your voice soft most of the time when answering his questions, so that he'll have to focus more carefully on your answers.

Read him lots of books appropriate to his age level. This may help his communication difficulties. Build his vocabulary a little at a time. Knowing his alphabet when he starts school is nowhere near as important as understanding a large vocabulary.

And recent studies show that preschool children don't benefit much from drilling on academic skills. What they need is play, lots of it. It's their job. They'll exercise their imaginations and physical capabilities, interact with others, learn to solve problems. All these things will help make them better students. Kids who are pushed to learn academics may start out a little bit ahead, but by 4th grade those abilities have leveled out. And those same kids might have lost the thrill of learning if too much is forced on them before they are ready. You don't say how old your son is, but he doesn't seem ready for the alphabet yet.

If you disagree with your pediatrician about waiting to get your son tested, you might see if you can find a different doctor.

Since you say he is not in school, I assume he is younger (4 perhaps?). Learning needs to be fun at his age, not like school. Also, some of the best ways for him to learn have nothing to do with education. PRAISE him anytime he does something good, even if it is small...he will be more likely to repeat it. Turn the TV off!! Eat dinner at the table and talk about your days. When you talk to him or want him to respond, calmly (no yelling) as him to look at you. My son is the same way and this encourages him to pay attention to you. Once you have attention, encourage 'story telling', by telling him stories like you would want him to write them someday such as "first I went to the store. Then I bought poptarts. Before I came home, I got gas". (Use First/ Last/ Next/ Before/ After words).

Foam letters in the bathtub, making letters with playdough are two ways you can teach letters and sounds without it seeming like learning. Make time for reading every day and don't be afraid to throw yourself into the characters. My son's kindergarten teacher told us that teaching nursery rhymes helps with reading and many kids do no know them now, so we turn off the radio and rhyme in the car.

One last comment, which I don't want to sound critical, but I had difficulty understanding your request. I read it 3 times (slowly) before it made sense to me. I don't know if this was just electronic shorthand or if you communicate similarly at home. You may want to pay attention to how you communicate and see if your family is accidentally passing on some bad habits you don't want when it comes to communication.

I wish you the best luck! I was in your shoes 2 years ago with my son and he is finally getting it!

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hi i live in lincolnton, nc my son is 23 months old and has trouble with speaking and gross and fine motor skills his pediatrician set us up with the north carolina infant toddler program children's developmental service agency located in shelby, nc ###-###-#### they came out and evaluated him to see if he qualified and he did we are just doing the motor skills for now when he turns 2 they will do the speech part a therapist comes out once a week and works with him for 1 hour, it does not cost me anything they said you have to make alot of money before you have to pay for anything. it has really helped my son he has been doing it for about 5 weeks now. call the number i gave you or talk to his pediatrician they work with them until they go to school, they even go to daycare's if the child is in daycare, if you have anymore questions please feel free to write back. by the way my name is S.

hi, you didn't say how old he is but i would take him to a GOOD child phycaligest (spelled that way wrong) and talk to them. they can observe him and tell you if he needs to be looked at for some problems. i can't believe that you doctor told you to wait until school. take would mean that no child got tested for any issues until the, not so. i started my now 25 years old son in speech at the age of 2. he was a bad studderer. they corrected it rather quickly. please keep your faith and draw strenght from it. look else where then his doc. good luck, mom of 7, R.

hes not to young to be tested if this is the 4 year old you are talking about. ask other moms in your area even his teacher at day care and see if they know a place that specializes in child evaluations.

Hi,

You may want to get him tested and you DO NOT have to wait until he starts school You just need to find a psychologist and request a full evaluation. Insurance may or may not cover it depends on what you have. We have had similar problems with my son his whole life. He is 4 1/2 and we had him tested and they have come back that he has one of the following or all three....autism, bipolar, and/or adhd with impulsivity. We were also referred to a psychiatrist because the psychologist said that no amount of therapy or differnt parenting would help him. He needed medicine. I hope this help.

J. , TN