I have a five year old son and he is very smart, we have had him in preschool about a year now and he will be going into kindergarten this year while in preschool he learned the alphabet song and can sing the whole thing but his teachers and I have noticed that if we ask him to identify a letter he cant even if I tell him its a b then ask a few seconds later what that same letter is he cant identify it then hell start laughing its almost like hes doing it on purpose but he does it all the time ive tried playing games with him having him color pictures with the letters he can write his name but he cant identify the letters in his name. Ive tried having him spot letters when were out and about and in the house ive read to him every day since he was born ive tried writing the letters and having him trace them and he can he can even write them him self if he has an example but he cant tell you what letter he is writing nor can he tell you what comes after like c in the alphabet. He is my only child he is very active and its hard to get him to sit still and listen for any length of time. He will be starting kindergarten this year and they are expected to at least be able to identify their letters im not sure what to do
he can write his name but only because i have written it for him so many times that hes memorized what it looks like he cant tell me what any of the letters in his name are
Back off from trying to teach him letters. Let them do that in kindergarten.
Instead, play games with him, and most importantly, READ to him, a lot. That will be the best education he can get.
Back off of it. If you've worked with him on it, he knows them. You're his mom, let the teachers be his teachers. Ask the preschool teacher how he's doing with his letters and let go of it.
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If your son can "write" his name? He knows his letters, he's testing you and winning. This is a game to him - a challenge.
What can you do? You can stop demanding it and make it a game where he earns stars or stickers for pointing out letters and writing words. After a set number of letters - he gets a treat like a Matchbox car - something "cheap" and readily available - even a trip to the park and a picnic to boot.
The more you get upset and force it? The harder he will fight you. So pick your battles and find a way around it. You can do it.
Good luck!
If he can write his name, he knows at least those letters. Sounds like he has found a button to push.
He is 5 years old, not even in K yet... Really? If he were off target for being ready for K, his teachers would let you know. Gees, we don't push that hard as teachers... Don't make learning a job.
He is pushing your buttons because you are pushing him.
Let him be a child, he will be fine.... there is no need for you to school him all day every day.
Stop pushing and he will probably come around.
Why are you pushing this so hard? Do you feel it's essential for parents to force this so that they can go to school already knowing what the teachers are supposed to teach them?
Preschool is supposed to be about learning through play, socialization, and separating from Mom and Dad. That's all. There are a few schools (and many parents) that push academics at this age, but it's a complete waste of time.
Either he's not ready, or your technique is ineffective. Are you trained in a variety of teaching techniques across various disciplines? Do you know how to develop an integrated curriculum? Either way, leave him alone. He will learn in kindergarten with every other kid. There are some kids who know their letters or even read, but they probably don't have many of the abilities your child has.
Has your child been evaluated by the kindergarten screener yet? Has that person very specifically told you that all entering kindergarteners are "expected to at least be able to identify their letters"??? In almost every school system, there is a long list of assessments - and each child is assessed based on whether they have that skill now, if it is emerging, or "not yet". That means they WILL develop the skill but haven't yet. It's just like penalizing a 1 year old who doesn't walk yet - some kids do at 9 months, others not until 16 months. But the one who is walking may not be talking, and vice versa. The same goes for every other skill.
My guess is that you are ignoring what he's good at and focusing entirely on the letter recognition. Of course he can't sit still for a long period of time. He's 5. Leave him alone. He will do fine. If the kindergarten screener thinks he is still developing in a whole lot of areas, then perhaps he's not ready for kindergarten. But I cannot believe that letter recognition is pivotal in any decent school system.
The pressure to have your child "ready" for kindergarten is very real. It is. I can tell you that it's ok if he doesn't know his letters, but what you are feeling is totally normal.
He might know his letters better than you think. If you're feeling the pressure, he might have noticed and started having negative feelings about it. If you're able to back off a bit, it might not be long before you catch him showing off.
Kindergarten is going to be a whole new world to him. This teacher is going to be a new person in his life, and it is very possible that he will respond differently to her. Both of my boys love(d) their kindergarten teachers and really wanted to please them and impress them.
I know it's hard, but try to relax and just enjoy these last few months with him before school starts. He's going to be just fine!
I dont blame you for worrying. Not that there is anything wrong with him, but school does expect the kids to know the alphabet when they start K. My friend's son (super smart on so many levels) could not recall certain letters and the K teacher who interviewed them said he is the only child entering K not knowing all the letters. Talk about giving a mom a complex. He is older now (3rd grade). I do not know how he is doing in school, but I do think he is very smart. I've never 'tested' him, but I would think if there is still an issue his mom would be talking about it. I have a feeling it just clicked with him when he was ready.
It is worth having him evaluated by a professional.
Read the article How not to talk to your children it is very important to praise your child correctly and not create problems
It's probably nothing - he's a bit young, and if you've made this into a bit of a chore, he won't be interested, as you say - he'd rather be off doing something else.
My only concern that comes to mind is Dyslexia. I don't have kids with it but my friend has a child with it, and there was some concern over identifying letters early on. They had other signs though too - I think his vocabulary overall was a bit lower (how many words he knew), and he mispronounced words too - it may have been picked up in speech therapy I think.
What about numbers? and counting?
If you are concerned, ask his doctor.
In the meantime, I agree with the other moms - back off a bit. The last thing you want to do is create an issue out of this for him. I have had to help some of my kids with speech and writing (one is in OT now actually) and you do not want them to become self conscious.
Good luck :)
The first thing that caught my attention was you said your son is smart but "refuses" to learn his letters. Maybe he already knows them and, like you said, doesn't want to say them? My son did the same thing with the days of the week. Kids learn at different paces, don't worry - he's in preschool. My son would NOT hold a pencil, crayon, etc to practice writing with but, he LOVED tracing letters in sand. I bought several colors at hobby lobby and he can choose a color and has fun writing in the sand. Good luck.
It sounds like you have a very physical, very active boy.... all very typical!
He isn't interested in sitting and learning yet, and that is also typical.
How about making the learning more physical? Use things where he can shape the letters in a physical way..... like the both of you sitting down and playing with clay, and shape the letters out of the clay. You can also use sand or salt in a tray and have him shape/trace the letters in the sand.
S., I haven't read the other responses yet, but I will tell you my son's story. He is 20 years old now and has just finished his freshman year in college.
He had severe speech problems because of a submucous cleft palate. So, he was already seeing a speech therapist because of that. By the time he was 4 years old, we had started to see problems with his receptive and expressive language skills as well.
I had an alphabet puzzle that was in the form of a train. I had taught him the ABC song from when he was smaller and he could sing it. But, he couldn't put the puzzle together. I had tried teaching him the letter names but he couldn't remember them. I was very worried and took him to a lady who tutored homeschoolers. For 2 months she tried all kinds of ways to help. It wasn't until she showed him a computer game (DK) called Bear and Penguin I Want To Read that the "lightbulb" finally turned on. He finally started learning his letters. It took a long time.
His speech therapist had been testing him and worked with him on language skills. This has nothing to do with his speech. This is about language. When he was a little older we had a psycho-educational evaluation done which tested HOW he learned. This told us what kind of learner he was, the ways he trouble learning, his IQ, etc, etc. Then recommendations were made on how to use this information to help him.
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you get your ped to refer you to a speech therapist to get a receptive and expressive language evaluation done. You really need to do this before he goes to kindergarten. You need to actually KNOW what is going on with him. Your medical insurance should pay towards this evaluation. The good thing about a private evaluation is that the school actually HAS to honor it. They can give your child accommodations so that his doesn't fall behind the other kids. So many of them will know their alphabets coming in - they will hit the ground running.
I did all of this with my son. He did well with the early intervention. Yes, he struggled some, but the teachers and I knew exactly what to do to help make a big difference for him.
Another thing I will tell you is this: My son had a lot of incentive to learn to read. He and his brother played game boy color pokemon games and he always had to ask his older brother what the game said. He wanted more than anything to be able to read about the pokemon without having to bother his brother, who would fuss at him for interrupting his own game. That made him work with his tutor and his teacher extra hard to learn his letters and words. That is another way to augment your child's learning - find what he loves and use it to your advantage.
Personally, I think he should know his letters by now. Knowing what I know now, I would have him evaluated by district now. If you wait until Sept, it gets very busy. Better to do it and be told he is fine rather than wait and find out there is a problem.
There are entire education systems where kids aren't taught any of this until they're 7. (Waldorf is one such system.) When they're ready, they're ready, and they catch right up to kids who have been reading for a while. I really wouldn't worry so much about it. Preschool and kindergarten should be about play, not about academics. Play will help a lot more in terms of brain development than studying letters will (and there's a fair amount of scientific study that supports that). Back off and let him be a preschooler. He will be fine.
I wouldn't worry. I realize that they "expect" things from kindergarteners and it's best if they do know letters, shapes, colors... but frankly there was such a wide range of ability in DD's K class and they all sort of evened out in the end. DD went in knowing most of her letters but not reading and she's above grade level reading now. So unless he gets into K and still doesn't want to learn or can't learn (at which point you might have him evaluated for dyslexia or learning problems), then you worry. Right now, he's a preschooler with months to go til fall. I'd make learning into games, low-pressure, and see how he does. My DD learned most of her letters from a V-tech laptop game.
