My Son! - El Campo,TX

Chin up, Mama! It does sting, but he doesn't mean it. Let it go and move forward. He does love you - he was just having a bad day.

Ignore it. He loves you. The few times my kids said that to me, I said back to them, "well I love you anyway."

No big deal.

You take it. It happens to all moms at O. time or another. You ca tell him it hurts your feelings but that's probably what he was going for. ;-)
I tell my son "That's OK, I love you enough for both of us."

DON'T take it personally. Most of us, as kids, said mean and hurtful things to our parents - either intentionally to hurt or simply in frustration that we weren't able to make a choice or control a situation. I don't know how old your son is, but mine is 4 and when he's very frustrated or upset, he will often yell out that he doesn't love me anymore. He's angry, nothing more. He knows I love him, I tell him I love him, and I know he loves me. It's nothing personal, he's just upset.

My son told me that a few weeks ago (he's 4)....I told him "that's ok - I still love you." He was "Oh". What do you do - you can only control so much of your child. What comes out of his mouth because of the way he/she feels...can't control all of it. They have their own minds. So, anyway - "chin up" as another mama said. I'm sure there will be more of these negatives. I'm sure when he needs you he'll tell you that he loves you again. Smiles.

Ignore those little quips. I know it hurts, but he is doing it to push your buttons. Don't react. If it continues, tell him how much that hurts your feelings.
Good Luck! Last summer, I got "I hate you" everyday from at least one of my kids. My response to them was that is was not my job to make them happy. It is my job to raise productive members of society.

'I always love you. I don't always love some of your choices.' Say it to him often enough, and he'll catch on.

I don't understand why moms get so hurt about this.
I mean....I totally understand. My kids have said the same things. But, of course our kids love us!
99% of the time when they say they don't it's because they are in trouble or didn't get their own way and they do know how to pull on the heartstrings.
How many times do we say to our kids, "I love you, but I don't like your behavior right now." ?????
In my opinion, they are basically expressing the same thing.
"I love you, but I don't like the fact you are making me go to bed because I did something I wasn't supposed to do."
"You won't let me eat 12 cupcakes before dinner because I want them? You're mean. I don't love you."
All kids try it, believe me.
Don't fall for it.
Don't make a big deal of it.
Don't act hurt.
I don't know how many times I said, "That's okay. I have enough love for both of us. But, you're still going to bed early. See you in the morning and we'll try for a better day tomorrow."
Him being in trouble isn't the end of the world, him saying he doesn't love you isn't the end of the world.
It might not even be the first time he says it.
Just know that he does love you.
He might not see it now, but being disciplined shows your love for him.

It will be all right.
Believe me.

Oh honey, that's only the beginning of the things your son will say. Wait until he says "you're a mean mom". when my kids told me i was a mean mom I would always tell them "I was trying for the mean mommie of the year award and I think i was going to get that award that very day." try to see humor in every situation. kids can and will be mean and hurtful at times, it's the whole learning process. chin up, smile, and be positive. find the humor.
V.

Say "I know you may be upset and mad. I am sorry you feel that way. I love you anyways." Then let it go. You didn't mention how old your son I would let it go. He probably said it just because you said you DID love him, therefore to go against what you said, he DOESN"T love you.

Kids go through those stages! They don't really mean it, but it still can hurt. I usually just respond "You can choose not to like me right now, but I will always love you!" This helps them understand your unconditional love and by gently accepting the comment, they are not getting the response that they hoped for. My oldest is 6 and a half and he doesn't say stuff like that very often any more, but he used to all the time.

It is okay...you will probably hear it again....I am due with my fifth boy and have heard that one many times...LOL you have to remember they are angry with you and just venting...I always respond with "no you don't" or "that is okay I still love you" This is normal behavior...My oldest son sometimes still says it to me and he is 16....I just say no you don't and he says ..."I KNOW" LOL First times you hear it is the hardest....I have also said to my kids..."I don't like you right now but I still love you" of course they now it is the actions that I don't like! (as i always explain at the time) Don't feel to bad! How old is your son?

My 5 year old daughter is going through that right now. How old is your son. I know at my daughters age they do not really comprehend love or hate. They just know they are upset with us. It hurts tremendously, but he doesn't really mean it. I would ask him today if he knows what it means to not love someone. See what his answer is. Just tell him those words made you sad. Maybe help him understand what he was feeling. I like to try to turn the issues around and instead of the issue being my fault because I discipline the kids, I word it as the issue was their choice. They chose to not obey the rules means they chose to have a punishment.
If he is young, don't make too big an issue out of it. Sometimes kids will repeat things they know hurt us when they are upset.

Sure it hurts but you KNOW the truth. I would smile, or try to, and say sorry to hear that because I love you, always will.

You did not say how old your son is.; He sounds like he is very young. He is punishing you for his behavior.; Tell him that when he says he is sorry for his bad behavior and bad words to you, will feel better. Next time he does this put him in his room and shut the door, tell him when he learns to behave you will open the door.

This will not be the last time you hear something like this, all kids say things like this. You have to get a thicker skin about it and realize they are just mad and that is how it comes acrossed when you are a kid. I have been told by my kids that they hate me and do not love me. I simply say that I understand that they are angry with me and that I will not take it personally because I know that they do really love me like I love them, and I leave it at that. Now, name calling is different, that gets them time out and a lecture on respect.

How old is he? My son has been know to say things for shock value and boy are they shocking!! He will be three in July and started with the shocking stuff at like 2 1/2. Like sometimes we will say "I love you" and he will say "No, you don't love me!" and furrow his little brow. I always tell him that regardless of what he says, I totally love him. Or he will say he hates me or Daddy or even himself. I tell him that hate is a really strong word and he is too young to use it bc he is too young to understand it and that if he doesn't like something he can say "I don't like that". I always try to redirect him and help him say what he really feels. Like if you have a young son, it isn't true he doesn't love you. He is probably mad about something, like going to bed etc. In that case I would have probably said, "Hey are you mad?" He would have said, "yes" Then I would say "OK, well say I'm mad then" Or I would have said, "Well regardless, I still and will always love you, goodnight" and then I just close that door and walk out. My son is a strong willed little pistol at times so I just try to diffuse any crazy talk with getting him to say what is really true or by saying something true myself. Above all really try not to take it personal. As their emmotions and personality come online, they really need us to help them navigate through it all, it is a lot to develop into a reasonable human being. I am not saying I have this all perfect of course, but I really believe he didn't mean anything by it. Now if he is older, he probably said it to be hurtful but it still isn't true. If my older child said that I would probably just say, "Well tough luck kid, you are stuck with me for life, and I do love you!" and then just go on with my life. Good luck mama, and remember he DOES love you:)

S., if he is young, it is normal. They have intense feelings, just like adults do, but they have yet to learn how to express their anger appropriately. Don't be offended or angry with him, instead just say, "I know you are mad at mommy and a better thing to say is....I'm mad at you mommy because of xyz." It will probably take years before he really figures it out and starts to express his anger appropriately. I have a child who is almost 6 and we are still working on it.

The other mom's have the right idea. My older son used to say this and I'd tell him I love him and give him a smooch. He'd promptly wipe it off, but I'd tell him that my love soaked in already. :-) The younger one would confuse my correcting him with not loving him. For example, he'd throw a toy and I'd tell him that we don't throw things. He'd say, you don't love me! I had to explain several times that I loved him with all my heart, but didn't like what he did. Sometimes it's hard for them to separate their feelings. Your son is normal, just testing his boundaries and independence. Good luck!