My One Year Old Is Hitting When He Doesn't Get What He Wants

Have you tried time out. Tell him hitting is not okay and make him sit in a chair for one minute. I make my kids sit in time out for a minute for every year old they are ie. age 5 sits for 5 minutes. He has to know that he doesn't run things and that hitting isn't okay. It sounds like he is testing to find out what he can control. Letting him make a choice in something helps. For example let him coose what is for lunch. Are we having peanut butter and jelly today or mac n cheese. I give my kids choices as much as I can (always only two or three things to choose from). I find this helps.

You should put more information on the "A little about me" section so we all can get to know you and your family situation. It helps when giving advice.

As far as your little one, do not worry too much. They do not know how to communicate like they would like to yet and this is the only way they know how. I never put up with too much of that, especially when they start throwing temper tantrums. I usually told them "No" or whatever and then counted to 3. When they continued, which they will, I put them in a playpen in a quiet room....with no toys or anything. Do not use their crib because you do not want that to be a place of punishment.

When you redirect them to the playpen for a while, they will be out of the area of the item they wanted. One minute for each year that they are. However, if it continues, I'd try it one more time and then maybe go for a walk with him or redirect play to something else.

I hope this helps. This is totally normal and severe punishments at this age is not necessary and not recommended.

Good luck!

There's so many things you can try! Just remember, no matter what you try, to have patience. It's most likely a phase. My son still even does it every once in a while and it's because he just doesn't understand how to deal with the feelings. When he went through the initial phase we tried:

- Telling him no, over and over
- Putting him in his crib and walking away
- "Thunking" his hand and telling him no (a light flick with your finger)
- Holding his arm behind his back (or both arms if your kid is anything like mine)
- Removing from current situation and distracting with another (just be careful it's not a reward of any sort)

In the end, I think it was just the consistency of telling him no EVERY time and creating a negative consequence to be associated with the behavior.

My son also did and still does throw himself back. If we are somewhere carpeted, we let him go. Hitting his head a couple times has certainly taught him. Otherwise, we hold his arm/hand just enough to soften the blow and let him. I've even "thunked" the back of his head a time or two (throwing the head into the chest is NOT pleasant). Again, it's the consistency of creating a negative consequence to the behavior consistently. If you let them get away with it even once, the cycle starts over. They will start to understand hitting and throwing themselves back does not get them what they want and they'll move on.

IT WILL PASS!!!

My daughter did that too so did my son. It's really just a phase because there too little to understand time out a little pat on the but when he hit you should be all that he needs right now. When he's 3 he'll understand more about time out but if you have the patiance for time out I'd do the corner because it really works. Oh and be carful when he throws himself down let go of him. I dislocated my daughter's elbow one time and I freaked out the emergency room doctor said it happend alot and they get 1-3 daily in there because the kids throw themselves down when your holding there hand. I thought I broke her arm. i was so scared when that happend.

Have you asked the daycare if he is doing the same there??? Investigate a little further to see if they are just giving in to him and therefore at home when you dont give in, he acts up??? I found that to be the problem when I put my daughter in daycare at that age.

My daughter is one and she does the same thing. She is not in day care and my mother-in-law who raised four kids said it is a normal phase all kids go through at this age. I notice her frustration more when she is tired. We tell her no when she hits and then distract her with another activity. I try to show her other ways of dealing with her frustration like banging her drum instead of her Dad and taking a walk. And we try to set a good example by watching how we behave when we are upset. I hope this helps and good luck.

My son is now 22 months, but he did the same thing at that age. His Pediatrician said it was probably out of frustration. Try to see if you can figure out what is bothering him. I soon realized that he was doing it if he was tired, hungry, frustrated over a toy or something like that. If you can keep frustrating situations down to a minimum it helps. I also would tell my son no very sternly when he did this. I now put him in time out when he does this and it helps. You could try time out at his age, but my son was non responsive to it at that young of an age. When he went to hit me or have a fit I would grab his hand gently and say no hitting. Hope some of this helps. Good luck. Just so you know my son rarely does this anymore and I think they start to grow out of that stage.

Ahhhh! My son, too! Mine is 14-months old and has only started this in the past couple weeks. You say you think your son may be getting these bad behaviors from other kids in daycare...it should make you feel better that I am a stay-at-home mom and mine is still doing it! I think it's just the age, but it is so frustrating! I'm interested to see what other people suggest for you, b/c I was about ready to put up my own post for help!
My husband and I are not spanking, hitting his hand or anything like that (yet...haha!), as I felt it might kind of set a bad example for him. I also don't know that I want to put him in time-outs; he's not able to understand them yet and I feel that until he can sit in one spot on his own for a time-out, that's not an appropriate punishment.
So far, I just leave him when he starts acting out like this. When he tries to hit or bite me after he's not getting what he wants or I take something away, I stop him and walk away.
I'm trying to avoid these situations at all cost: the house is completely baby-proofed, so it's rare he gets his hands on things he's not supposed to have; I continually give him snacks/water/juice so he's not hungry or thirsty (I know that can spark bad behavior); but this is still happening for us a few times a day now.
Good luck with yours, I guess this just teaches us MORE patience!

I suggest you get a firm grip on that behavior right now because if you don't he will walk all over you later if he thinks he can get away with it. My oldest was a master of this kind of behavior and this was the only way I saw fit to fix the problem. When he hits or throws his head back, try restraining all his movement by hugging him tight to your body. This lets him know that you will Not allow this to continue and reassures him that you care. By not letting go he gets the attention he needs at the time but it also lets him know that you are stronger and will win. When he calms enough that you can talk to him be sure to tell him that you love him and want to make him happy but this is not the way to get what he wants. He will most likely fight the restraint and have a bigger fit for awhile. This will wear you both out but the cuddles after are more meaningful and relaxed due to the physical calm that follows the storm. This method will take an iron will and more patience than you Think you possess. You Can do it because you love him. Please contact me for more info if you need and let me know how it goes using this or another method. B.

He most likely is getting it from daycare, kids pick up a lot from other kids whether is positive or negative. i have worked in daycares, and have a degree in child care and development. my 4yr old son is the same way even today, we have neighbor boy who has no manners and throws himself on the ground if he doesnt get what he wants and that boy is 6yrs old! well my son started throughing tantrums again and i just looked at him and told him that his behavior was not acceptable and that if he was going to act like that he wasnt going to get anything. my best advise for you to do is when he starts to throw a tantrum is to walk away, once he notices that you're not paying attention he will stop. and as for him slapping you grab his little hand and tell him NO and that its not ok to hit. let him know that you know he is upset but its not ok to hit others. even if he is only 1 he will understand. hope i could help. also i dont know if you agree with timeouts, but it can work if you use it in a positive way. like when he isnt following directions just let him know that he will have to lets say sit on the couch for a timeout. then follow through, but NEVER do it out of anger. try to stay calm even though he has truely riled your feathers..lol. i know this feeling all to well...lol. anyways hope i could help.
jessi :)