My Kids Are Just Being Kids

You have to totally change your parenting tactics. Make your children your allies. LOVE them, Cherish them. Yea, I know it's hard. Reward them when they do something good. Constantly be on the lookout for good behaviour then compliment or reward. Overlook the bad as much as possible.

I'm constantly doing this with my daughters. I tell them that they are made in the image of God and certain behaviours are not appropriate. When they swear, they get their mouth washed out with soap. If they misbehave, the park has been cancelled. I use events such as Chuck E Cheese and Science Center as rewards for behaving well all week. I started with typing a list of rules that they are to follow. This helps all of us remain consistant. Then, I did a sticker chart that you can stick a sticker in every 1/2 day they behave (your can make it every hour if you want) - get LOTS of stickers. All of a sudden the behaviour turned around. I have VERY bad parenting examples myself, so I used The Nanny and other people's ideas for what to do. Most of all, LOVE your kids. Make sure you are spending active time with them. If not, it doesn't matter what you do, they will misbehave for attention. So, give them attention for positive behaviour. Often my kids misbehave if I'm overworked and haven't spent enough time with them. In fact that is the #1 reason they misbehave, in my opinion.

God bless you and I hope that in no time you will be enjoying your children.

hey there,

if you are yelling or spanking / hitting the kiddos then definitly expect that's exactly how they will respond to you. that's just what they've been taught / shown to do by you. kids opnly know what they see and are master mimickers! i nanny for a couple different families, and have a reccomendation for a GREAT book, called PARENTING WITH LOVE AND LOGIC that has really helped me out with behavior problems in kids around that age. i have an extra copy you are more than welcome to have if you would like it. let me know. i would however reccomend telling your kiddos that is is okay to be angry and okay to be uspest, but if they are going to act that way , they need to go outside, or into thier rooms until they can talk to you in the same (CALM) voice you are useing with them. make sure that threats of lost priveledges are followed through, but don't threaten by yelling or spanking unless you want to hear it right back from them. oh, and a really good tip is: pay attention to the little things they do that are GOOD, and tell them! tell them any time you noticve they are being polite / sharing etc. say " i really enjoy being around you when you are being so polite, when you yell at me i don't, so thatks for doing such a great job today!"
I really think praise goes a long way, and think that sometimes, we get so used to pointing out the negatrive that we overlook the good stuff. kids need to hear what they are doing right, and reminded how much we enjoy it when they are being positive.

good luck!

My 3 year old son has this exact problem. No spanking isnt the answer either,I found out the hard way, beacause then they dont understand when you tell them they cant hit. I have been going to parenting classes to get help with my son, and the techniques I have tried havent offered 100% improvement but I would say atleast 75 to 80%. Time outs can be WAY over used, so just pick out the behaviours you really want to stop, and focus on those. Lots of positive disceplene, Dont only focus on the bad things, when they listen the first time with out you having to repeat yourself or yell praise them. I always tell my son thank you for listening to mommy, that makes me really happy, Im really proud of you. Just changing what behaviors we focus on has had an immense improvement in our house,it has also improved the way my son and step daughter get along. Hope this helps, if you have any questions just ask.

This sounds soooo familiar to me! LOL. I have a 4 and 2.5 year old and they are always at eachother. I think a lot of the arguing has to do with them not taking naps anymore. Do your kids take naps? Even if they don't take naps, you should enforce a quiet time (so to speak) where they can play separately in their own rooms. I turn on a movie and most of the time my little guy will fall asleep and they will be much happier. I do time outs as well but like you said, they are right back at it. Just keep being consistant. It will pay off. My husband is a railroader so he is gone about 50% of the time. It's not easy, I know. If you ever want to chat, my email is ____@____.com luck!! :)
K.

Hi, sounds like your 2 yr old is on track naybe alittle ahead, most 2-3 scream, hit, bite sctratch. Your 4 yr old should be ending this stage. All 6 of my kids went through this my youngest is 3 now. I used time out, they sat in a chair for what ever their age was 2 yrs-2 min's and so on (used a timer with a bell).
I stayed consistant everytime and when they got out of time out I asked them what they did wrong and why it was wrong. for the younger ones if I did not understand them it was ok. I acknowlegde the good things or behaviors all the time. Like yesterday I took my 3 yr old to the store to get a birthday gift, on our way out of the store I told him I was very proud of his behavior in the store,,,he was a very good boy. With my older kids when they were school age I would tell them the rules fortheir behavior, before we went into the store, if they did not follow them we would leave. I would go back later with the kids that where good.

I hope this helps

When you speak to your children speak with authority...like you would a dog getting ready to bite a person. Kneel down and be at their level and mean business. Let them know you do not tolerate this kind of behavior in your home. I punish my boy's by making them stand and face the wall for 2-4 min which is enough to calm them down..they are not allowed to touch the wall or sit on the floor. I only count to two before I take action with timeouts. When I say one they usually change their attitudes quickly, because I follow through with my punishment and they know I mean business.

Also,
They may need to be taught how to play with each other (role play) and how to deal with their feelings when they feel threatened...they need to use their words communication is so important. The two year old is not able to do much of this that is why you need to validate her feelings "are you scared/frustrated/ children will act out because they know no other way to express themselves. If you validate her feelings she will be able to move on because she was heard. Reading your children is KEY. Lot's of organized games are good for them to bond...4 year old cuts items out of a magizine and the 2 year old paste it to paper and now they have accomplished and achieved something together that you can now display and be proud of...then you always tring to keep the peace.

Children work hard to please their parents...so set them up to achieve and accomplish projects/washing the car/making their own sandwiches/ once that they see you are proud they will start to feel good about themselves.

You must not bend the rules....if you want respect from your children. They need structure. This is just what I do when it come to punishing my children 2 and 4 years old.
EM

Hmmmm,
It sounds like it is time to take away some of their treasures. My son went through a phase of hitting me all the time, really whenever he felt like it. Like you, the naughty corner did not work.
I started to box up his toys, especially his trains, which he loves most. and putting them on a high up shelf. I explained that he will not get them back until he learns to be nice. I kept them away for a week, then as he proved himself, he would earn one toy back. it worked like a charm, he now knows there is a real consequence for being naughty.
As for your daughter peeing on the floor, start making HER clean it up. After a few times of cleaning both herself and the floor up, she will get the idea.
Good luck!

M.