Okay so i am a single mom and i have two boys, ages 7 and 4. I have been having alot of trouble with both of them when they are in school. Don't get me wrong they do have their good days, about three months ago i had my oldest teacher put him on daily reports so i could see what was going on with him. The first coulpe of months were hard, then it got better to where the teacher asked if i wanted to take him off, i said no not yet. Then all the sudden it got bad again. He comes home and the report is the same thing everyday ( can't control taliking and not following directions) I have done everything that i can think of to punish him from taking toys, cant go outside and play with friends, stay in your roon, i mean everything. Can someone relate or please give me the answer to fix this problem............
Nothing has happened other than that i am going to pull my hair out, i can't spank them anymore, taking the toys and games don't work, i'm still searchiong for the right answer.
My first thought is diet.
What are you feeding them , and what changed from when they were good to when they started acting up again?
I don't think 7 and 4 year old boys are wired to control their talking and follow directions. In a perfect society, they'd still be running around outside and getting dirty at that age. That doesn't work very well when they have to be stuck in a classroom with a bunch of other kids all day. My heart goes out to them. I wouldn't punish them. I'd send them outside and let them be active as much as possible when they are not in school. Feed them healthy food, no sugar, give them some easy chores and look into a ymca after school program or boys and girls club where they can interact with other kids in a more non-structured environment.
The ways you're punishing are totally unrelated to what he's doing at school. Therefore he doesn't learn to be quiet and follow directions. Instead of punishing them teach them. Perhaps, after an hour or so after school, give them some homework. Stay with them and remind them to be quiet and focused. Use patience to remind them every time they stray.
Talk with them about how important it is to be quiet and follow directions. The 4 yo may not understand but the 7 yo should. Use a calm, teaching voice.
Does the teacher have a consequence for when they are disruptive? You might talk with the teachers so that they are given immediate feedback from which to learn. One of my granddaughter's teachers in the first grade issued warnings using colored cards. When they got the third card they had to stay in from recess and finish their work.
Do you have a few rules and consequences for when they're broken? Learning to obey and follow directions has to be learned thru consistency at home and at school.
My granddaughter was on the daily reports plan. She finally settled down once they figured out she was ADHD and put her on medication in the 5th grade. Her mother tried different non-medicine ways but they didn't help.
Talk with the teachers about ADHD being a possibility. If she agrees, get them evaluated. The school district has a program, mandated by the Federal government to evaluate and treat conditions that interfere with learning. My daughter started with a visit to the pediatrician who did an informal evaluation and from that prescribed medication.
By the way, the So What Happened is to be filled out after you receive suggestions to tell us if they helped or not.
My son is seven and right after Christmas break he went from a perfect conduct everyday to orange card after orange card and then a red card, (green=excellent, yellow=warnings, orange=didn't change behavior after warnings, red=really bad, i.e. hitting, staying out on playground after whistle is blown, etc.)
I wondered if he was getting sick or something because it was totally out of character. Then he came down with what I thought was a cold...it was rsv. He was pretty sick for about two weeks with constant asthma flair ups.
He got better for about a week after the rsv cleared up...but then went back on a bad behavior streak...he is now on daily reports from the teacher. And just when I think he is about ready to stop the reports...WHAM it is a streak of orange cards maybe even a red...
He loses tv and video games the day he gets an orange card...a red card is two or three days no tv/video games.
It is almost like he decides to test us every couple of weeks to see if we will still take away privileges when he misbehaves in school. But it hasn't stopped it comes and goes in waves...
I am kinda stumped like you are...the teacher is very kind and we are talking through email and on the phone, so we stay consistent with what we are telling him about his behavior.
I look forward to reading your answers...my son is mostly being "funny" at school and/or not following directions...we practice following directions at home...but we joke and laugh a lot at home too, so that is harder for us to put our foot down on...the being "funny"
Ya know, my oldest son had issues in 1st grade with talking and disruptive behavior. His grades were awesome though. I didn't punish him b/c he had already been talked to at school (unless it was something severe).
His teacher put him on a card system (green = good, yellow = had to be talked to a couple times, blue = had to be talked to many times and red = big trouble). First thing he would tell me when I picked him up was what color his card was. I found that was the focus of his day. It made me sad. So before he could tell me I would ask him questions like "what did you do in p.e. today" "who did you sit with at lunch" "what did you do outside at recess" "what song did you sing in music class". Once I took the focus away from his cards so did he and his behavior improved dramatically.
Welcome to Mamapedia. Excellent first question!
It must be the age - 7!! My granddaughter does the same a lot in school - ugh! Gets some "great days" but more "talking" or "socializing" stuff...
Oh how I can relate... sorry I wish I had the answer, but we are still trying to figure out want works. We have tried time-outs, taking items ways, prizes, dinning out on weekends, no outside play, can't play w/ friends... if we have been given an idea we have tried it. But we are still having issues... I do feel your pain & hope you find your answer soon.
Bribe him to be good. Find little things that he likes, something from the dollarstore maybe.. say toy cars, let him collect them. He does not get any of them unless he is good no matter what. Don't even buy him this toy for his birthday or christmas. Make it a specific, "you get this if you are good". Don't punish him for being bad, reward him for being good.
