Dear D.,
Nature will ultimately decide if you have another child or not. Whether it will be a boy or a girl. But here is the thing for example my Oldest of three Brothers was more strong headed being the first child which is typical. He is 9 years older. The Middle child is 4 years older than me. Both have more stable careers now than but amazingly my middle brother a Dr. with his older but upper end home and good income still for many years felt the middle child and the youngest child feelings. I could see it in his face. A friend parents had a boy and a girl. I think that two is about perfect as you could get especially if one of each sex. They would not compare themselved the same ways as two boys or two girls might. But anyway my oldest married an Only Child woman. She wanted a big family. He wanted some family but never talked about the size of it much. So their first two were girls who did very well in school. They also wanted a boy... It took about seven years, in vitro fertilization etc. to have that boy which they eventually did. But if the 3rd was a girl? The point is be happy with what you have! Also sending one child to college lets say cost 120,000 or more... now multiply that by 2 is 240,000.00 or more NOw by 3 360,000. That is just one cost and is much higer as the age differences and inflation. Now how about their 18 years of being at home or more.
About 2,000 the first year per child, about 7,000.00 + or minus in daycare costs if going that route till about maybe 8 years old, not sure. So the first chlid about 50,000 not including food, new car sizes etc. now x 2 100,000 now x 3 150,000. So lets say supporting 3 might cost till they graduate college or so.
$510,000.00 two might cost $340,000 one might cost 170,000 to support for their teen years and if need be in college or graduate school.... This is probably conservative figures.
Now take your someday estate... Lets say your house is paid for, cars paid for, and most other things you own.. If average house in USA is about $320,000 now??? Belongings and investments any where from 100,000 to 1,500,000. Lets say it is inbetween!
800.000 plus home 1,140,000. Now the unfortunate happens and split the will amongst all the chirldren equally say. Then an only child might get a sum of 1,140,000 which is a big help to any child and of value if you taught them the value of money, working for it vs saving for it etc. Now say two children so each gets $507,000 which probably pays off their mortgage or they buy a new house and take a vacation sometime or save it for their kids education... Now with Three children sharing the 1,14,000,000! each might get 380,000. also could help them pay off a mortgage or buy a new house... But if two they could also save for childrens education this extra money and the only child... they become a millionare which today is not even unusual if you look at the new homes being built today! Just their houses alone could be a million dollars when they sell it. ANd in some areaa like NY City most of manhattan almost all who own even a one bedroom is now clost to a million dollars. So the rest of us.... just for that alone would be in comparison to these others "poor" in real estate But the richer others the hotels etc will raise there rates, airlines etc for these fast millionaires. That is happening today! Airlines are making planes for the rich and business class flyers and soon fewer seats on some airlines will be even somewhat affordable to fly on!
So one child, two, three, four, five you decide but dont have chidren because you want the Sex to be what you "required" that is usually ridiculous to do since we have little though some control now over that. Be happy with what you DO have! Two or one seems Ideal in most cases. PS our child Is and Only Child.
ANd to our surprise it is not rare as it was generations ago. A significant number of couples have one child for work reasons, older marriages or whatever reason. When we grew up Three was the Ideal, now depending on the situations one or two is "ideal" or many people who don't have "issues" or religions or health reasons that suggest having many more children.
P.S. I am saying this against my own self interest starting an online store for childrens items some time some day.
Written by spouse, Steven