Is It Hard to Have Three Children?

I have three children ages 7, 5 and 3. I'm not going to say that it's the easiest thing in the world, because it's not, but I haven't had any problems. The age space is good and the older they get, the easier it gets. Good luck!

I have 3 children my son is 5 and my daughters are 3 and 1-they are amazing in their own way. Some days seem busier and a little more hectic than the others but the joys definetely out way the downs. They each play amazing together (although all kids have their moments) I try to set time aside to spend time with them individually as well as a group. I am not sure about middle child syndrom my middle is super dramatic at times BUT she is a girl and whenever I talk to other moms in her gymnastics class I hear that she is acting the same way their daughters act, and most of them are the first child!?! Girls will be girls I guess and that means DRAMA!!haha!! I feel like 3 children fits me perfectly but I have to agree that if you are questioning it then you might want to wait awhile longer to be SURE!! I have always wanted 3 and I feel my family is complete. I am not sure I would try for another child just in hopes of getting a girl... it might be a boy and you might be discouraged and then having 3 may be more than you can handle.

I think it all depends on the individual. Some people are not capable and don't have what it takes to take care of one. Some people manage just fine caring for 3 or 4. It depends on the individual.

If you doubt you can handle not getting sleep while caring for your other two, then don't have another right now. Wait until you do not feel stretched to the limit. Then consider having another child.

If you do have another you will obviously be aware and do your best to make sure all three of your chiildren are loved and cared for.

Just remember we do not get to pick the sex of the child and we also do not get to pick the number. You could get pregnant with twins. Your risk for multiples increases with age.

I have three year old twins and a 16 month old. All girls! Girls are soooooo much drama.

Hi S.

I only have two children but was one of three for a few years, my Mum had #4 7 years after #3. My youngest sister never forgave my youngest brother for being born, as she loved being the youngest. The sibling dynamics worked for her being 3 of us, (I think it worked too when #4 came along). Both my brother and sister have 3 children, and I can honestly say that there are no problems in either family, they all just are happy and work in the same way my two work or sometimes they just don't, but that happens all the time unless there is just one child. One lady wrote you will not grow old and think back and say "I wish I had not had that 3rd child" but you may wish you had more, I think that really is your answer. We all make it work and seem to cope with however many children we have. Sometimes it is very difficult, but I bet your children will love their new brother or sister and a couple of years down the road, you will wonder why you ever questioned if it would be any harder with three than two.

I am pregnant with my third now, and I don't think you will have a lot of difficulty. Of course things will be different, but not necessarily bad. The middle child syndrome is a myth! I was a middle child. The only way your 2 year old will suffer is if your parenting style changes. I love both my kids, and I have no intention of overlooking any of them. Each child will be different, and they will require individualized attention as well as group. Balance is the key. I know families with 8 or 9 kids that do just fine.

I have 3 children (actually pregnant with #4.) Mine are 10,5 and 2. I think that if my oldest was younger than he is it might be a little more difficult because he helps out alot. But I don't think it's "hard" at all. Each child fits just right into our family. In fact going from 1 to 2 was much more difficult that going from 2 to 3. My middle child does exhibit some typical middle child behaviour and that just let's me know that she needs a little special Mommy time or maybe Mommy and Daddy time. But they all need that at times anyway. My advise to you would be go for it. You will not look back at your life when you are old and gray and say "I wish we had not had that third child." But you may say "I really wish we had had more children." :-)

We had 5 in 8 years! they're all charming & wonderful & I still choked up this morning as I dropped my 10-year-old "baby" at middle school, even tho this is the 14th year in a row I've said goodbye. Investing yourself in their lives, no matter how many you have, is the key to good parenting & happy children. I'm thankful to have been a stay-at-home mom for 10 years, having quit my minimal job when I was "born again" and I realized that God was telling me that He would provide for us through my husband's career (I have a college degree & thought I should do something with it). When the youngest was in 1st grade, I started substitute teaching, and was blessed to have been an all-day aide at their school in Germany, so I have the same hours and same days off, with no take-home work to detract from my kids at home. Best wishes!

I have three boys and yes their are days when I want to send them up the river but their are days where I can't do anything but laugh. You just have to put yourself on a schedule get them in a routine and that makes things a lot easier. Putting them in a routine gets them use to doing things to where they will eventually do it themselves. Like I tell others one child of course would be a lot easier but three makes it full of much more fun.

Hmmm...I have three kids. Two boys and a girl. 8,5,2. Three is defnitely not easy. I think what makes having three hard is that when you only have two there is a parent for each child and each child had the attention they require. With three, my middle child went through a phase where he used to say "mommy, I want to go back in your belly." My husband and I laughed about it all the time, but it was our first sign of "Middle Child Syndrome". Which does exists. My father-in-law is a child shrink and has confirmed that it does exist. It's not just a myth. Althought I do feel that three isn't easy, it's not hard either. It's just challenging. We wouldn't be a family if we didn't have our three kids. I think that is just hard when they are little. Now that my daughter is getting into the toddler stage, things have really eased up. My daughter did complete us. Having two boys is great fun with dirt and sports and wrestling and trains and blocks. But as a mother, I cannot explain the feeling that justifies having a little girl. I think my daughter has been more to handle than my two boys put together. It's so neat to see her running around with the boys and fixing her hair and painting her nails. It was a relief being able to do girly stuff with someone. So if you have a third, it won't be easy, but it won't be hard either. Just get ready to stay on your toes. You will definitely have some stressful days and some great days, but you can have that with one or two kids too. If you decide to have another. Good luck on getting a girl.

Hi, S.,
one thing I have learned is not to take other's experiences and make them my own. I thank them for sharing and make my decision based on my own desire. I had three and nothing in life comes without some sort of difficulty.

I feel that the way kids turn out depends on the parent, yes kids grow up and make there own decision and suffer the consequences just like we did.

I am sure if this is what you and your husband want to do, it will be just fine. It will be up to you all how your families grows or doesn't. Please don't live your life in fear. It is too short, spend that energy focusing on how you make it better. My kids are 19, 14, and 6 and the middle child is a delight and makes straight A's and the other two are a blessing as well. So stop worrying and enjoy your family!

I have three daughters ages 8, 8, and 7. Identical twins and a younger sister 14 months apart. The twins were a surprise, but the third was planned. (We also PCS'd two times in the first two years of their life.)

Anyway, three is a crowd, and it's always a playdate, but just love them. Your house will be a mess, your car will be filthy, you will never catch up on the laundry, but so what. You will love the new adventure!

Yours are a little more spread out so you will have some help from the other two, just remind yourself that they are still very young. "Let them be little."

I do think that parents of 3 children have to be aware of the middle child issue. It does exist and if not ignored then all three children should grow up happy with who they are and their placement in the family. (I am a middle child and notice the difference in my own middle child's actions/reactions to be a firm believer in the middle child being a unique placement in the family.) Simply put, the middle child tends to compare himself/herself with both the older and younger sibling. This means they want and expect equal treatment (percieved attention, jobs within the house, school grades, sport activities, rules, etc.) to both the older and younger sibling which as parents we know is not reasonable but the child's perception is different. The second child is often stuborn and insistant in his/her beliefs of what is "fair and right" within the family. I personally think the best thing you can give the second child is his/her own "identity marker", not shared by either of the other siblings. Something that there is no one else to be compared to or place themselves in some order of importance known only to them. For myself, I was the only girl in my family. That made me unique and special to the family in my own mind. I have 3 boys. I dirrected my middle child into the German immersion kindergarden program and he is about to continue with it in first grade. This has been a great way for him to seperate himself from his brothers. To be good in something the other two can not do. It is a part of the label he gives himself and there is no competion within the family imagined or real. I don't know if we will be able to continue to give him this indiviuality but I do know I plan to try to keep the German language as something he can claim all to himself. If not I will activily work with him to find another way for him to find that feeling of seperateness and importance we all strive to claim as our own. The plan is to make this claim of ownership be something he can look at when he is feeling like he is not measuring up to one or both of his siblings. There is my quick take on the middle child. Complicated...as is the care for my oldest and youngest children's needs. All different, all worth the effort.

I believe each family is different. Having one child is extremely difficult because that child needs you to entertain it. Adding one more, to have your family grow to consist of two children, gives the first a playmate, friend, confidant...there will be bickering because God made us each our own person. To our family, adding one more meant adding more love. Then God intervened and added one more 15 months later. Each child adds his/her own beautiful love and talent. We now have 4 children. I have friends with 3, 5, 7 and 8. Each family handles each day and it's good & bad with love and understanding of each child. The middle-child syndrome only bares its ugly head when it is allowed to. I equate it with the saying "if you think something bad will happen, it will..." I know each and every child has a place in this world. How everything is perceived is up to the family. Love does conquer all. With that said, I have many friends who had 2/3 girls and tried for the boy only to get another girl and vice versa. Try for a healthy happy baby and be happy God was willing to allow you to share your love with yet another child! Good luck and many blessings to you and yours!!!!

S.,

Just sharing my thoughts with you cause I have two children right now and I've been asking everyone I see with three to four children what it is like cause we want more but were afraid of how it would disturb our balance or change our lives. Most people tell me that there is no real difference between 2 and 3 just one more person to love! I like that response they do tell me that it is more work though but that is to be expected and some say you have to do things a little more thrifty. I actually will be going from two to four kids because my niece has requested that she come live with us and I gladly replyed with a loving yes! she is a wonderful child and yet a teenager too so that will be interesting, so my deal will be 15, 10, 4, and new baby!I think I will be able to handle the gaps in ages better than a 5, 3, 2, and newborn, some people marvel at the idea of having kids close together because they are close and it is convient ( my mom did there were three of us growing up each about two years apart), I see their arguement and it is a great way to raise kids but I know that is not for me! I realize my kids are spaced out for a reason! When it came down to it my husband and I sat down and took stock of everything, I've been watching posts on here about this very question, and like I said before, I stopped perfect strangers on the street and at parks that would talk to me, and the real answer was will we not regret it if we did not and we realized we would regret it and that someone was missing, that is the way one mom put it! and that really got me to thinking...we decided there is never a perfect time so we just got careless and will really start trying at the end of the month! we like suprises! We thought about how we will no longer be able to fly where we want to go on vacaion anymore which I've gotten really use to, when we get back to the states and realize that stuff really does not matter long as we get there! so it will be a change but a good one. And by the way my middle child is the most excited about having a new sibling! I don't think he will suffer one bit! I have not heard any bad stories so I am lucky! Ask me again in a year how things went and I may have a different story!LOL
MAMALYN

We have three children ages 9 girl, 6 girl, and 1 boy. Going from 2 to 3 was not nearly as hard as going from 1 to 2. My oldest is a big help and my middel loves that she is older than someone. I don't feel she suffers from being a middle child. If anything we tell her how lucky she is. Her older sister will never be a little sister to anyone and since our baby is the last he will never be a big brother. So she feels very special in her place in the family.

Don't want to scare you off but...three is a nightmare! People told me that and I never believed it. I thought that it had to be the parents. WRONG! One and two are easy because there are two of you. Once you have three it throws the playing field all off. I ran over a stroller with the van...long story...left a kid at a birthday party...even longer story. Three kids definately rocked my world. We had families of three tell us to stop at two. We had families of more tell us to have at least one more. I have witnessed families of three and the middle child is always begging for attention. It really is a rough number. It's just that you have the oldest kid getting to do stuff because they are the oldest doing things the younger ones just can't handle. Then you have the baby sucking up every drop of attention because of feedings and diaper changing and just things they need...it's not because you are ignoring the other kids. Sounds stupid but 4 is easier than 3. As far as wanting a girl...you have already decreased your chances of having a girl because you have two boys already. I had read somewhere that with each boy you have you decrease your chances ever further. I have 6 boys and in May we just had our first girl. My girlfriend was telling me that surely by now I had zeroed myself out percentage wise and I guess I had...another long story. Good luck in whatever you decide. Raising children is a talent for sure. Having a big family is great. I think it just got a lot easier after four. It was just all down hill from there. My kids get to do what every one fo their friends do and they have just as much as their friends do. You just have to work it. We don't have any problems flying. We are in England but from Kentucky. The older kids help out but I don't make them do much of that because it just wouldn't be fair. My oldest one babysits for us but gets paid for it.(date night) My kids do chores but I'm an only child and I had more chores than they do. They all play sports. 4 of them are old enough for sports and 5 of them are old enough for Karate. We are definately a busy family running around for all that our kids do but isn't that what you decide when you go for a large family? You definatley have to be more organized for a large bunch. You do become more thrifty. I always shop a whole season ahead so I can crash the clearance racks. I always want them to look nice. I start shopping for Christmas in July because I refuse to charge it. The children do learn that it works for them to help. Like this morning we are planning on going bowling so they are all trying to help get the house cleaned up because they know we can leave sooner if they do. We go at least once a week during summer break. Raising kids is not an easy job by no means but you can do it if you want it.