My Drama Queen Daughter and Overuse of the Word "Forever"

The concepts of "never" and "forever" are huge-the fact that a 5 yr old is even considering these is not drama-it's sheer brilliance!

Dawn, I think dramafied is a perfect way to describe teenage girls. Mine is the worst sometimes!

DVMOM, good luck!

Ah, yes--"global" language: always, never, forever, in the whole wide world, every time.... They practice this a lot at this age...and even as they get older and are feeling wronged.

You could always answer "forever?" with "What do you think?"

I once read a great blog post which suggested that the endless whys and repetitious questions aren't always questions, they may be a manifestation of the child's desire to seek connection with us. Which doesn't make it any more endearing, but does explain the incessant nature.

Plus, I think their brains get 'stuck' on that same phrase or word. So instead of the more logical follow-up questions (like "What will we do when we go home?" or "When can we buy more bananas?" or "What's Daddy getting at the store?"), they get stuck on their default question. I also think that forming more specific questions at this age is still a skill they are learning.

When my son (5) complains about how he "never" or "always" gets/has to do something, I usually do take time to correct his perception of the situation. "I never get to have ice cream." is met with "Oh, you know, actually, you do get to have ice cream. You had some a couple of days ago. You *sometimes* get to have ice cream. Just not today."

Otherwise, I hate to say it... but this too shall pass. I'll take "forever" over "Whatever" --complete with eye roll--any old day!:)

Did she learn it in school?
they learn all kinds of things there and what other kids may say.

Forever. Never. Always. Well sure they go through those phases with those words. But its not forever. LOL
They are just learning comprehension of phrases/words/vocabulary.
It is not "naughty."
But adults say those things too.

Its just one of many phases.

For them, 1 minute can feel like 1 hour. They don't know literal time, yet. Or constructs of that sort.
They are sorting it out.

Hahaha, how hilarious it must be. Oh to be 5 again.....
The never and forever thing is a curiosity to kids, they play with it until it really finally "clicks" and they understand the full meaning of the word. Takes awhile to learn context.

Rather than answering her, ask her "What do YOU think? Will it be forever?"

See what she says!

Just wait til she is a teenager. EVERYTHING is dramafied! (Is that a word?)

Smiles!
Dawn

Sounds normal. I have found that when I ignore things like that, they tend to resolve a lot quicker than if I make a huge deal about it and trying correct it.

My youngest daughter went through that phase. Finally I'd had enough (if I remember I was having a bad day) and when she asked if the older three would be gone to school forever, I answered yes. She looked at me and explained that they can't be gone forever, cause I have to feed them and blah blah blah.

I asked her if she knew that, why she asked if they'd be gone forever...and she says cause she was being funny. I don't think she asked much after that, lol.

LOL I had to laugh. My daughter is 3 1/2 and has started this...sort of. Like when she is in the bath and I need her to get out. She will say, "No, I want to stay here forever." Or if I ask if she wants to take a walk, "No, I stay home forever."

When she was a little younger we would ask her to do something and she would say, "No, never, never, Neverrrrrr" all the while she is doing what we asked. It used to make us laugh. I actually kinda miss it. ;)

I wish I could tell you it will go away but my 10 year old is STILL like that! If we tell her "no" she will say stuff like "I'm NEVER getting ice cream EVER in my whole life."

Good grief. It's just ice cream and we just said no one time!

I've come to the conclusion that my daughter just feels things bigger than we do. I'm thinking to her it does feel like forever.

I also think she's seeking encouragement and acknowledgement that it won't be forever.

Depending on my mood and her mood I handle it a few different ways.

If she's being too dramatic I'll get even MORE dramatic than her and say things like "I KNOW! No ice cream ever! It's banned! Good by sweet ice cream! It was great knowing you!" That always makes her laugh and brings her to her senses.

If she asks the question "You mean forever?" I usually turn the question back and say "What do you think?" To which she will answer her own question with "No, not forever."

Sometimes I will answer it with the matter-of-fact truth.
"We're NEVER going to get there!"
"Sure we will. We'll be there in 10 minutes."

And many times I just ignore it.

You've got a drama queen on your hands! But the good news is they are entertaining, fun and they may be famous one day!

Yep, there too ... with no actual answers I am afraid ... here is my simmilar post from a while ago, but it's focused on "never"

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/16278358410897063937

All you really need to do is get her something to play (not noisey) with and sit her down and tell her what they both meanand that it is really unfair when she uses those words when all she needs to do is change the way she asks the questions, such as changing
"Is he goiong to be gone forever?"
to
"When is going to back?"

And
"You have ten more minutes to play and then it's time to go"
"Forever"
to
"Can I come back another time?"
(or something of the sorts)
And just pick her up on it everytime until she gets it right.

She probably doesn't understand the meaning of 'forever'. And I would nip it in the bud with the 'Never' thing. "Never" going to have ice cream again!!!!!!!

"NO! Not if you behave this way!" "Sure you will; next time I plan it". "As soon as you quit using 'never' and 'forever' you can have ice cream!" "I don't reward crybaby moaners with ice cream"

stop answering her when she asks it