My daughter went to the kindergarten at the age of four. After a couple of weeks, she began adapted to it and seemed very fond of the kindergarten, because she thought the teachers in the kindergarten were very nice. However since the kindergarten replaced the teachers with some young ones, my daughter seemed very afraid of going there, and last Monday before bedtime, she suddenly burst into tears and said to me, “I don’t want to go to the kindergarten any more, I am very afraid of teachers. The teachers don’t like me, so do the other children”. I asked why, and she told me “I fought over toys with other children, and the teachers don’t like children doing bad things”. The next morning, I went to the kindergarten to talk with her teachers in a bid to work out a way to help my daughter and I asked them to be nice and patient to my child. They agreed. However, it doesn't work, because my daughter is still very afraid of her teachers. Taking my daughter to another kindergarten is impossible to us at present. What should I do, please help me.
It's too bad the earlier teachers left.
Is there more than one K class in the school?
Consider letting DD go to preschool this year
and try K again next year.
4 is kind of young for kindergarten.
First of all you need to make an appointment with the teachers. It is not appropriate to expect a conversation this important to be handled without the teacher being informed so that she can gather info and suggestions.. If every person spoke to a teacher each morning, the teacher would be late starting class.
One of the first things our daughter kinder teacher told parents was "You believe 50% of what your children tell you and I promise to only believe 50% of what they tell me about you and what goes on in your home."
That being said, your daughter is obviously upset. She may not be good at transitions. Maybe she was not prepared enough about the change of teachers? Did she have an opportunity to tell them good bye?
Also your daughter may feel embarrassed or uncomfortable being told that She needed to stop fighting over toys. ~ “I fought over toys with other children, and the teachers don’t like children doing bad things”.
Of course the other children for that moment would be upset with her for fighting over toys.. Does this make sense? Ask your daughter to tell you what was she fighting over toys and what should she do next time?..
Also remind your daughter "when a teacher corrects your behavior, it does not mean she does not like YOU, it means she does not like the BEHAVIOR.."
Same with her friends. It is not that do not like her, it is that they were upset by her behavior..
Take a breath. This is what kinder is for.. To learn what the rules and expectation of school is. See if there is a way for her to get to know these teachers better. Sometimes, I used to invite our daughters teachers over to our home for lunch or to go and get ice cream with her children outside of class.. It made them human.. It allowed our daughter to see they were real people..
Maybe she's just missing her other teachers because they did things differently and your daughter is still not used to the change.
They may have different styles as far as what your daughter's concept of being "nice" is.
Some teachers are very kind and caring, but definitely take a more firm or no nonsense approach to things. I'm just wondering.
If you can't change schools, talk to the teachers again. Try talking with your daughter more. She may just really need to be able to express how much she misses her other teachers.
She could be fearing the change more than the actual people.
Try to observe in class if you can and share these concerns with the teachers.
Best wishes.
not all personalities blend well and this can be particularly upsetting to a kindergarten little. but that doesn't mean the teachers are actually 'scary' and it's probably very hard for a child as young as yours to find the right words to describe what she's feeling.
she sounds pretty young for kindergarten. i'd keep her home another year.
khairete
S.
I just want to agree with some previous posters. Stick it out for a while. It took your daughter time to get used to the styles of the first teachers, and it will take her some time to do it again.
Sometimes children will use words incorrectly, too. I'm not saying your daughter misunderstands the word "afraid", it's that kids don't have the nuance in language that adults do, and afraid could be "anxious" or "upset". The only reason I say this is because I recently had a similar incident with my son. He was saying that one of his teachers "yelled" at him. Admittedly, she's a little loud, but not upsettingly so, more in a gregarious way. I asked him what she was "yelling at him about" (sticking with his language) and he replied: "She told me not to throw sticks". That bit of truth there reminded me that sometimes, it's more about how the kids feel when they are called out for doing something that's not accepted within the community. (I did tell my son "Well, I understand why she used her loud voice. You shouldn't have been throwing sticks. Don't throw sticks, and she won't yell at you about it.")
Just wondering too-- how do you feel about the new teachers and this change? I know as a parent, I'd be wary at first. Hopefully, they can get settled in. Starting as a teacher in a new school can be tough, so give them a bit of time. And maybe this book: "The Essential Conversation" by Sarah Lawrence-Lightfoot can help, too. It discusses the different emotional elements of parent/teacher conversations and conferences. Very revealing and eye-opening, and it might give you some ways to optimize your communication with your daughter's teachers.
H.
It could be she is just not emotionally ready to be at school. Was she in a preschool/daycare before kindergartren or was she at home with you? My brother was sent home to "mature" a little and started kindergarten the following year. He just needed the extra time. He had a summer birthday and was one of the youngest in his class at the time.
Can you volunteer in the class or hang around for a half hour and then slip out? Or show up an hour early and observe or come in to "play" with her or read to the class? Maybe if you are there for a while she can ease into the new teachers. Both my daughters disliked school and I did this with both of them. It does sound like she may be too young yet for structured school, or she is very sensitive and a slight reprimand was viewed as a major scolding. I have just written a post to the lady asking about whether a counselor should just listen (perhaps you can see my lengthy response there) but mainly there is a good book written by Elaine Aron describing sensitive children and offering advice by ages. http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Child-Children-Ove...
Perhaps this book can offer some advise as well, my library had it but I ended up buying a copy and reading each section as it applied to her age. Good luck.
when I was in kindergarten I cried if I thought I was going to get in trouble-- which I never did so I'm not sure what I was crying for. I now know I was a teacher pleaser and I would get so upset anytime I was corrected by my teacher all through my school career. Maybe your daughter is feeling the same way. I would encourage her by reminding her that she is not perfect and it's okay if the teacher has to correct her some times.
That's weird, why would a school replace teachers in the middle of the year? I would consider keeping her home and try gain next year. I think 4 is really young for school.
