My Daughter's Sleeping Habits

Hi N.!

Sleeping habits are hard to break. My daughter use to wake up and come in our room to finish off the night and we let her.

It took trying several different things before we found something that worked for her. It ended up being a combo of several different techniques.

We established a set bed time routine
-wind down time
-bath
-stories
-bed (soft music)
Then we introduced her to the reward system where she recieved a sticker for every night she slept in her room (which worked wonders for her)

It didn't work over night but I guess the habit didn't form over night either. Its hard work but consistincy paid off in the long run.

P.S.
She was also afraid of the dark and a night light wouldn't do it for her. So we bought her a fisher price flash light that turns off when the button is not being held down... it worked for me!

Dont forget to let us know what happened

H.

Wow - you're talking about MY 3 1/2 year old, right?
First of all, locking your child in any room is just not cool. Way to break trust and build fear.
What I am doing is when she wakes up and comes in my bed, I get up with her, have her go potty, and put her back in her bed. Sometimes she passes right out, sometimes it's a 1/2 hour or more. I explain to her that she is almost 4 and big girls sleep by themselves in big girl beds.
I also make sure that nothing is REALLY bothering her, that all monsters, etc have been booted from her room, things like that. I will sit with her, but only for 5 mins (unless she is truly scared about something). This is JUST like the FIRST bedtime, LOL. Soft music, nightlight, white noise machine. It will take some time, even a month or more. Just be firm, not mean, angry.
I strongly am opposed to Ferber, but a bit of crying is ok, as long as it's not that fear/terrified crying. Put yourself in her shoes. She's 3, it's dark, and her mommy is not with her.

Buy the Nanny Jo Book, I think she's Supernanny.

Do not be too hard on yourself. I have 3 1/2 year old triplets and they are all in the same habit. Thank God for king size beds! It is a very difficult habit to break but I am told we need to be consistant and keep putting them back in their beds. If they come in again, put them back. Everyone tells me to keep doing it and let them cry it out. They will eventually understand that they belong in the big girl (or boy) bed.

what about reading to her in her own bed, and leaving her with something ofyours, like a tshirt you wore ?? nightlight? a new stuffed animal?

Hi N.-This is the advice I had written for another. It really works, but you have to be persistent if she comes in your room-keep bringing her back in her room and reassure her she is o.k.

I went through this with my son (will be 3 y.o. in April). He was constantly sick his first year of life and slept in our bed for the better part of it. It really is a tough habit to break. My son is now sleeping in his bed all night (about 7:30-5:30 am). More often than not, he sleeps in his bed until 6:00 am.
When it is time for bed, we get into bed and i read him a couple books-he falls asleep to them. Before he falls asleep I ask him if he is going to sleep in his big boy bed ALL night like his cousins do. He says yes and he does it. It was hard the first few nights-he would wake up and come in our room a couple to a few times, but I was persistent and kept bringing him back in his bed and reassuring him that he is o.k. and that he is a big boy now and needs to sleep in his big boy bed. Once he realized that he wasn't coming into our bed, he stayed in all night. If he ends up coming in and it's 4:30 am or later (my husband wakes up about 4:30 am for work) and I put him back in bed and he ends up waking again, I just get into HIS bed with him rather than bring him in our bed. It does take a lot of patience and persistence, but it will pay off. I really know how difficult this is and I wish you the best of luck.

Hi, My name is Debbie and I to am a single mom,I also had this situation when my son was little,I worked all day, we ate dinner together, bath time and stories I read to him in his room,but every night he came in around 2 or 3am with his blanket, pillow and his stuffy, I decided to let him be because if he got up to be near me, he must miss me. When he was 4 I put stars on his ceiling and wall, also a lamp that had stars that turned around and reflected on his walls every night after bath it was story time in his room, then I would put on a jazz cd {no words} and rub his back for a few minutes, usually in about 5-10 minutes he would be asleep, I think as long as you have quiet time together,its great Between 6.30 -8.00p.m. I didn't answer the phone either, it worked for me he is now 15,and wonderful. His sister who is 28, it worked as well just different decorations good luck to you hon, D.

Hi N., I feel like you are talking about my daughter, who is the same exact age. Although, my little one has never been a good sleeper. She never slept in her crib, and now she does sleep in her own bed, BUT.. We have to lay down w/ her to put her to sleep, and then she will wake once in the night looking for me or my husband, in which we then go into her bed. Sometimes she wants to sleep in our bed. I told my husband, This is so ridiculas, she is almost 4, and we still do not have our own bed. No one really understands unless they have this problem, and it is so easy to say just put them in their room and leave. I have tried everything, from sitting on the floor, and just leaving her in her room. I found that it just made my husband and I really get too stressed out. My daughter has a very strong personality, and she will fight me to the end. So it is not just an hr of crying with her, she would fight the whole night. I do have a friend that put her foot down w/ her daughter, and she would lock her daughter in her bedroom with the advice of her doc and let her cry untill she finally fell asleep, it took a whole yr before she finally gave in. I do not have that in me, I could not do it. But I think that is really your only option. I say just hold on they will grow out of it at some point, and like my pedi told me, This does not effect their growth, and they will grow up to be normal adults, more children sleep w/ their parents then children who don't. Im sorry I do not have a quick fix, but I am in the same boat, so hang on.