Keeping 22 Month Old in His Bed.

T.,
I hear sleeping on a magnetic mattress pad helps some children and adults fall asleep more easily and sleep more soundly at night.
Warm regards,
L.

You basically have to look at the situation as a "bad habit" for both you & your son. Think about the "ideal" or the norm & then devise a plan to get you there. It will take discipline & probably at least 3 long nights of little sleep for you both. But consistency is key in breaking any bad habit.

Will there be crying - most definitely! Will it be exhausting - no doubt. Will it be worth the effort?? YES. Speaking from experience, I can tell you it is so worth it when you can put your child down from here on out & know that they can get themselves to sleep & STAY asleep.

I did it with my then-18 mth old. That was after I had done it with him at 15 mths, but he had an illness for a few weeks that threw everything off & I had to "re-do" it all over again. Still worth it.

IMO, you need to start small - don't try to tackle both putting him to sleep on his own as well as not getting up throughout the night all at once. Start with him going to bed on his own. He's old enough now to understand some, if not most, of your words to him. There's some great tips from the other mom's about what to bring to bed with him. Again, develop a "plan" - how many books you read together, bath or no bath every night, nightlight, etc. & stick with it. When you lay him down, give him his bear or whatever & tell him "good night."

Close the door. If he cries, let him - for a few minutes. Go in, give him a tap on the head or the belly, tell him it's "night night" that you love him, etc., but that it's time for sleep. Close the door.

Repeat, only wait a few minutes longer before going in. Will it feel like you're letting him "cry it out"? Absolutely. Will it be difficult? Yep. The first night it took my son over an hour to finally fall asleep - but he did it without me in the room with him. Progress!!

Keep doing that night after night, sticking your plan, communicating to your son well before bedtime what's going to happen, etc. If things need to slow down or something small needs to change, do so. But stick to you not getting in the bed with him.

Then, when he's done that for a few weeks, if he's still getting up at night - work on that one. For my son, I had watched an episode of the Nanny on TV & knew what I needed to do to get him to stay in his bed: I was in his room for 2 hrs straight, putting him in his bed after he would get up. Up, down, up, down - over & over & over. Exhausting. Lots of screaming. Lots of "mad" tears. No talking except in the beginning to remind him that this is bedtime, everyone stays in their beds, etc. After a few minutes though, I didn't talk to him. Kept a nightlight on in the room & just up, down, up, down. Never letting up. Eventually he figured out that he wasn't going to "break" me, that I still loved him, that it was the way it was going to be - staying in the bed.

There are LOTS of ideas for this type of thing in the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book, or Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. But I say you start with the whole going to bed without you thing first.

Sorry so long - I hope you get some good tips that will work for you & you can see success quickly!! It really does change your life once things start to look "normal" again. :)

You need to teach him to fall asleep on his own, that way he will be able to go back to sleep when he wakes during the night. I would suggest getting him a new "special bedtime friend." Either go to Build A Bear, or a toy store to pick something out. Make a big deal about it. Then start doing a bedtime routine that involves some stories, a drink, some snuggling, etc. and then leave before he falls asleep. He will most likely be upset for a few days, but will then adjust. If he wakes during the night just take him back to bed, find his new "friend" and tuck him in again. If you have lots of problems with him leaving the room you can put a baby gate across the door. (My son was fine going to sleep on his own in the crib, but when he moved to a bed he would get up constantly. So, we put the gate across his door and it has been a lifesaver!) I would guess within 3 to 5 days things will be going much better. Good luck!

Have you thought about just letting him spend the rest of the night with you when he comes to your bed?

I know that some of the fondest memories of my daughter's childhood will be waking up with her in the morning. We have some of our most special bonding moments snuggled in bed together, talking, laughing, cuddling. It just sets a wonderful tone for the rest of the day.

It will be soon enough that our kids will want to sleep alone and will want nothing to do with mom or dad. I'm happy to treasure these wonderful times in which affection is so natural and forthcoming. And I feel certain that it strengthens the foundation of our relationship, so that our closeness will be that much stronger throughout the rest of our lives.

My daughter is 2.5 years old so she's a little older than your son, but we just FINALLY broke her of this habit (at least it appears so!). She would get up 2 or 3 times a night and come in to our room, I would take her back to her bed, sit down next to her on the floor and she'd go back to sleep, when she came in around 5 I would give up and put her in bed w/ me and my husband would go sleep elsewhere or get up for work. She really really really likes the kind of baby doll w/ the plastic head, hands and feet but cloth body. She did not already have one but ALWAYS played w/ them at friend's houses or any other place she found them. So I told her one day (out of the blue when she was talking about her friend's baby doll) that if she stayed in her bed all night and waited for Mommy to come in in the morning for 14 nights she could have a baby doll. I made a pretty star chart that we put right next to her bed and she got all 14 stars within 16 nights. She now calls for me when she wakes up in the morning or after nap rather than just automatically hopping out of bed. I truly think she was getting up out of bed on autopilot and coming in to our room.
So my point is, it had to be a reward that she was super motivated to work towards and I did excuse times when her diaper leaked or she called because she was cold and needed a blanket or something. But I am so proud of her! The first couple nights she asked to come in to Mommy's bed but I reminded her about her stars and the baby and she was fine with it. I am not sure this would have worked until she was old enough to remember and reason, especially at night when she awakes and is alone. But you could try it!
Good luck!

The issues is he is using you to go to sleep instead of going to sleep on his own
When he wakes up a little bit during the night, as we all do, he cant resettle in as he is used to you to go to sleep with. He needs to go to sleep on his own
So start at nap time for him to go to sleep on his own
the at night dont get into bed with him instead sit next to him and pat his back.
After a few nights just sit next to him. Gradually move the chair further out the door,then sit in the hall in plain view
dont engage with him as you move away
Soon he will be able to sleep without you
J.

I would love to see your responses cause my son is 8 and I do the exact same thing. I was told to just be on top of putting him back in his bed, but I will sometimes get up 4 times to walk him back, it seems as soon as he doesn't seem the body heat he is back in my room. I give up!

Try a sticker chart!

I know he seems young for this but it worked (and still works) great for my son who is 25 months. Around your son's age he started getting into our bed at night and started having accidents at school (had been in underwear for a month already).

I just used Word to print a chart. I put his name in bold letters at the top. And used clipart pictures of a boy in bed and a toilet to show his two "jobs." I took him to the store to get a brand new book of stickers to use only on the chart. He got a sticker every night that he was dry all day, and another in the morning for staying in bed all night. At this age you don't need a "when you get ten stickers you get a prize" deal because they don't really think ahead like that and the sticker and chart are cool enough.

good luck with this. It sucks to have your sleep interupted.

I just went through the same thing with my 26 month old daughter. She loves her bed but like you we have to lay down with her to get her to sleep then she would come into our room every night. Fortunately we kept the crib in her room. It took a lot of effort and heartache on our part but one night I decided it would have to stop. I kept walking her back to bed (about 4 times in one night) and on the 4th I told her if she got out of bed again I would put her in her crib. She got out of bed so I had to stick to my word and put her in her crib. She hated it and cried for about 1/2 hour. I went in and asked if she would like to sleep in her big girl bed and she said yes. I tucked her in and she stayed. The next night, same thing. She came into our room and I walked her back 2x. I told her if she got out again I would put her in her crib. She didn't come in again. I explained to her about how we sleep in a separate room, etc along the way. Every once in awhile she comes in our room and I will walk her back but it only takes once for her to stay. I think consistency is key.

Now I am trying to figure out how to not lay down with her until she is asleep. This one is a little more tricky so any advice on this would be helpful!