My Crazy 31/2 Yr Old

OH my goodness K.!!! You are NOT alone! My daughter is 3 1/2 and I call her the spawn of satan! Seriously! We feel so alone when combatting a 3 year old because somehow they get the best of us and 'we know better', right? UG. So many days I feel like trading her in for groceries at the store! LOL. She's the love of my life and I can't wait for 3 to be over. Then comes 16 right? Double UG!!! I find that for my stress relief all it takes is to find THREE things a day that my daughter does that are just wonderful. Even if it her giving me an extra kiss at bed! When I feel I am getting overdone with her, I reflect on those three things from that day or past days. It really helps! You're not alone, we all own monsters at one point.

Thank you for posting this question! I read some of the comments, and it helps to know this may pass. I have a 3 1/2 year old girl, and 2 1/2 year old boy, which I love with all of my heart, but some days the whining and testing, and destruction is almost too much for me to bear. I'm just hoping this phase will be short. So far the only thing that seems to get through to them is to take their toys away until they will listen.
Good luck to you, you are not alone.
M.

Hi K.,
A little suggestion. Don't play his games. He is doing it to see how much he can get you to do. He has his own puppet show. Just stand your ground and if he wants to play a game give him a choice of games and let him choose. If he changes his mind and starts whining and crying tell him "This is the game you wanted to play, if you don't want to play it now, then when you change your mind come and get me", and walk away. He'll probably follow you, but ignore him, let him go through his melt down. I no it sounds mean, but he is only doing it to see how far he can push you. I have 3 kids and believe me they tried it too, they all do, but if you show him that you run the house not the other way around, then he'll learn and the time that you have with him will be a great experience and believe it or not it'll make you guys closer and he'll respect you more. All kids do this to some point. Plus I'm sure that you feel guilty for being to busy and everything and it's probably easier to just give in, but if you do it'll only continue and imagine him acting like that as a teen!!!!
Good Luck,
T. S.

My daughter is the same way..so I feel for you! I have decided though that I am not going to give her what she wants all the time. If she lays down in the middle of the floor, and throws a fit, I will walk over her, and act like it doesn't even bother me. Eventually she gets up, and gets what I have given her. She decided one day to hit herself in the face when she was mad at me, and i told her, if you think you like to hit yourself, then go ahead. After the third time, she realized it hurt, and stopped. She taught herself her own lesson...LOL. So maybe that will help, I know it has me.

I'm just sure that it has to pass.... My daughter is not quite 3 1/2 and our whining comes with scratches, scrapes, etc...anything that comes remotely close to needing a bandaid. If she can see a scratch or whatever, she thinks it hurts and cries and whines, even if it's days old. Also she is very clingy and needy all of a sudden at bedtime. Nothing has changed in our lives so it must be a phase. Just continue to be loving, affectionate, and reassuring, all the while reminding him that whining is not an appropriate way to communicate. You're not alone!!

He is doing it all for attention. When my kids used to get like that It was a sign it was time for a nap. I know that it is probably hard to get him to take a nap but it is possible. While he is napping do what you need to do and when he wakes up have a game ready to play with him.....If it still happens it is just hm wanting his mommy and nothing else.

You have done NOTHING wrong. This is totally normal and it will suck til he is a bit past 4. lol My triplets drove me over the edge from 2 1/2 almost 3 until just reciently which they are 4 1/2. Just hang in there.

M.

Hi,
Wow, you sound like you just described my 3 1/2 year old. You say dont touch anything and he has to touch everything. He wants what he wants and by golly he wants it right now! With him everything is "really, really, really, really bad". I need this and I need that. I also have a 2 1/2 year old. Put those two together when they want or dont want something and holy cow! Even the most sane person can become insane spending too much time in one room with those two!! Dont worry none the less I think that it is normal for their age and stage.

wowwwwwwww! i'm a single mother of a 3 year old son who will be 4 in august. I FEEL YOUR PAIN. i love my son so much i give him what he wants cus i dont want to hear him cry, i think thats why he's so whiny now. since this has stressed me so much, i've been more firm with him... for example, if i got a game out for him and he didnt want it any more, i would say "well, this is the one we picked, and if you dont want it anymore, mommy will just put it bakc, and you can find something to play with by yourself" it usually helps. best of luck!

K., I agree with these other women who say terrible two's are nothing. My son was an ANGEL until 3. HA Pride cometh before the children! I thought it was due to good parenting ect. No it wasn't he was bidding his time the BOOM he was three and strong willed. Did everything I told him NOT to. Didn't do anything I told him to do. But it does get better. He did learn to push but I do not budge, and he learned that too. Parents must ALWAYS be firm. Because trust me if you dont it will be ten times worse next time. Hang in there I have teenagers too, and they are a breeze! But surely they are bidding their time as well?

Hi K.,
I have a three and half year old also. My son hasn't started wineing yet but everything else is there. My son has also become quite the back talker. He has spent more time in time out lately. I have also started taking toys away if he isn't listening. That seems to help a little. I thought that I was so lucky because he didn't go through the terrible twos. I was wrong. LOL!! I'm hoping that it is just a phase and that in a couple months it will get better. Good luck.
Chris

While this behavior is perfectly normal, there are ways that you can try to curb it. I always delayed giving my son what he wanted until he could calm down and tell me "in a big boy voice." I never expected perfection from my son. But, if he makes a reasonable effort to ask without whining, I'm happy enough. I also frequently remind him to say please, thank you, your welcome, and excuse me. I find that the more he is reminded to say those things, the more he remembers the easier, whine free, way to get what he wants. Now our biggest problem is when we refuse his request.lol

Hi K.,

I have a 3 1/2 year old son too who does the same thing. He knows how to play both myself and his dad. What we have learned is not to give in, set boundries and don't give choices. We now just tell my son this is what your getting end of story, before my son had us running around like slaves to him it was so ridiculous. You would be surprised how quickly they learn when you start setting boundries and following through with actions instead of threats. Start teaching him now cause it will only get worse. Good luck

Oh my gosh are you living in my house? I also have a three and a half year old that is doing all the same things. I have learned if I tell him that I can't understand what he is saying when he whines, he will usually rethink it for a second and use his big boy words. I have also noticed these melt downs happen if he is overly tired. Usually if we can't figure things out by talking about it, I tell him it is nap time. Sometimes he goes to sleep, but others he lays in his bed for a coule of minutes and then comes and tells me he feels better and is ready to play. I guess just needs the few minutes to gather his thoughts and realize what he is really wanting. I did this fun little parenting class a few years ago and they said it isn't the terrible twos at all. Instead it is the trying twos(because they are learning so fast and trying all their boundries) and it is the terrible threes. To try and lighten your day, they gave us this little poem/saying in this section.They called it The Toddlers rules(I think most everyone will say yep that is my kid)....."If I see it, it's mine, if I have it, it's mine, if you have it, it's mine, if I want it, it's mine, If I like it, it's mine, and even if I don't like it, it's mine"
As for your question will he ever grow out of this whining and wanting what he wants when he wants....maybe if you are lucky, but looking at my five year old then then at my husband...ummmmm I doubt it, but you could get lucky.

I really think it should be called the "terrible threes" instead of the "terrible two's". Two year olds throw tantrums but are still manageable...3 year olds have much stronger wills and are more demanding in my experience.

I have an in home daycare and it seems like when my son is busy learining or playing with other children his behavior is much better?