My Baby Won T Let Me Put Her Down

Hi C., my daughter who is now 2, was that same way, if I wasnt holding her then my husband had to. she wouldnt let me put her in a stroller or in a baby carrier, I had to physically hold her. as soon as she started crawling, though, she no longer wanted to be held. I held her thoughout that day, because I couldnt stand her cry and my son who is now 3 couldnt understand why I was letting his little sister cry. So my advice would be to hang on until she starts to crawl, which will be soon...
M.
http://www.workathomeunited.com/M.

I recommend finding a baby carrier that you like. A pouch, sling, moby wrap or my favorite the Ergo baby carrier.

I used a carrier with both of mine and was able to get a lot done. For things like taking a shower, I would put mine in the take along swing we had and put them in front of the shower.

Hope this helps,
M.

Have you tried using a sling? This way your baby will be touching your body and can see you, but you'll have hands free and mobility to do the things you need to get done. Just a thought...

Babies as well as toddlers can experience separation anxiety..it eventually goes away. Be sure to check with your pediatrician and eliminate any physical problems like ear infections. You may want to try an infant swing if you haven't already. Housework can usually wait. A little bit of crying, even though it's hard on the heart, won't hurt her as long as it's not over an extended period of time. Good Luck!

Hi!

I wanted to let you know that there is a babywearing group in the L.A. area- Koala la- they have weekly meetings at various locations and can help you use your sling. You can also borrow their carriers to see what other styles you might like. I found the group to be very helpful as my baby grew and changed positions.

Here's the link to the group:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/koalaLA/cal

I love my Moby wrap. It is very comfortable. My eldest wouldn't ever let me put him down either. It is very trying. I found that the more I tried to put him down the more clingy he got. It was like he felt discarded or pushed away. That caused him to cry more and want me more which made me want more space. I have learned that I just need to SLOW down and do much much less. I need to just relax and hang out with the baby. I hired a mothers helper for only $10 to do laundry, sweep, do dishes, and other light housekeeping. She comes 6-15hrs a month. It is amazing what a difference this has had on my wellbeing. This alone may have prevented postpartum depression for me. I used xmas and birthday money to pay her a couple of the times. I even postponed putting my son into preschool so that I would have the extra money for the help while my baby is still so young.
Hold your baby so that he feels safe and learns to trust this world.

I put my kids on tummy time and acted like a cheerleader while they grunted it out. Due to that, most of my kids were on their hands and knees by 4 months and crawling by 5 months old...and happy! I think it is worth the investment. Your child will not be able to thank you for setting good, healthy limits and being a cheerleader or coach for them until many years from now. And that is only if you train them to praise you and appreciate your skills that help them master who they are when they face tough challenges.

The tummy time was always appropriately timed. There was plenty of cuddle and snuggle time. It just wasn't every second. I also started training my first daughter to sit on my lap while I folded laundry when she was 4 months old. It became her favorite chore and when she turned 12 months old, she knew exactly who everyone's laundry was and could do it all by herself. Imagine the possibilities!!!

Hello C.,

I am a stay at home mom with two children (5) and almost (3), with a husband who owns his own business and works full time.

Your 4 month old sounds like my experience with my daughter who is now almost three.

Crying is okay, but if your daughter is screaming that means that she really needs you. The house work can wait. When your daughter is 20 I guarantee that she will not need you in the same way, so enjoy these precious moments.

I eat organic food, do not own a microwave, and enjoy a nice homecooked meal, but investing in canned meals, frozen meals, and pre-packaged meals will give you more opportunities to eat dinner in a timely fashion. You will only need to do this for a year or two, and then you will be able to get into a regular schedule. As your daughter grows older you will be able to find time here and there to do more daily house tasks.

Asking the hubby to do house chores and cook dinner once or twice a week can be helpful as well. Your spouse wants a happy momma.

Have a friend or family member create a food tree or house cleaning tree where your friends and family members come up with a schedule to commit to bringing your family a home cooked meal once a week and/or come over to clean your house or hold the little one while you clean the house once a week or every other week.

Patience, communication, and respect will grow between you and your daughter as you grow together.

The time that you are investing now to meet your daughter's needs will build her self esteem. She will know that her needs will be met when she needs it, and she will learn that you have needs as well and she will learn to be able to facilitate in creating that space for you as well.

The best of luck to you and yours.

she is just responding how nature intended her to. like all mammals, humans are born with instincts. babies instinctively cry if they are not held be their mother. it's a means of survival. have you ever seen newborn kittens or puppies? if the baby and mom are separated, the baby gives a distinctive cry alerting the mother where she is. and the mother then goes to retrieve the baby. if she didn't that kitten or puppy would die. fortunately, humans are a little more resilient than other mammals.

so go ahead a find a way to meet her needs and do the things you need to do. there are a number of slings, pouches, baby carries to chose from. some that are very affordable, others that are good enough for celebrities.

google baby wearing or attachment parenting and you'll find out much more information as well as sites/places to purchase a carrier. there is a boutique in Redlands (kissui) and Murrieta (pickles and giggles) that I know of that have various ones you can try on to see which fits the needs of you and your baby. I saw kissui on the business review page if you want to check it out.

I'm in the same situation. I have a four month old girl who rarely lets met get anything done. Even if I'm not holding her, I'm having to amuse her or play with her. Here's my theory - the housework can WAIT! She's only going to be this little for so long. I'm trying to enjoy it. It's hard some days, that's for sure! As for eating, I tend to order/make/ask for things I can eat with one hand!

Keep up the good work. All that love and attention isn't going for naught!

C., I too went through that. My son was collicky for nearly 5 months. I found that using a baby bjorn was the only way I could get anything done (inside and outside the house). He is just fine now (he's 21-months-old) but needless to say his sleeping habits have never been great. Is she a good napper? He sleeps through the night, but I have to lay down next to him to get him to stay put.

How about putting her in a baby pack. You can go about your business and your baby will be happy.