My Baby Prefers My Childcare Provider over Me!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DO I DO!!!!

Hi - I am a "Nanny" and I care for one child at a time, each day of the week. It has been my experience with infants, babies and toddlers, that when they are with one person for the better part of a day, that is the person they are used to - at that time. It has nothing to do with preferring someone over you. I have toddlers now, who cry like it's the end of the world when Mommy leaves in the morning, but as soon as she pulls out of the driveway, they are over it. When I leave at the end of the day, sometimes they say "goodbye" and sometimes they don't even care that I'm leaving. It's not personal! The great thing about children is they love the one they are with but there is no one like Mommy!

This is just a phase. When I used to do childcare this would happen often. As a stay at home mom this would also happen with my husband- the kids would prefer him. Be consistanly loving just like normal. Whatever t-shirt you sleep in at night as a sleeping shirt have the babysitter put your daughter down with it - to keep the smell. Make sure you cuddle at night and read a book - you may want to tape yourself reading to her at night then have the sitter play the story to her when she puts her down. If all else fails remember this to shall pass, every phase is just that a phase.

It's nothing against you personally. She just spends lots of tme with the babysitter and is comfortable with her. If she spent all day with you she'd do the same thing. But it just sounds like an attachment phase. I'm sure she will grow out of it. Dont take it personally. You are her mommy, there isnt ANYONE beter than you. The baby sitter is just a friend she plays with all day and it's hard to want to stop playing and go home.

if she's w/ the daycare person all day then she's probably grown attached to her. well, fact is that youre her mommy and will be there forever. im sure she'll grow out of it. just as long as you're spending as much time w/ her as you can, one on one attention, activities, fun, etc.

D., This is a good sign! Even though it hurts your feelings you have to remember that you are the mommy and she will always have a stronger bond with you, but the babysitter takes care of her for the majority of the time and if the child likes them then that usually happens! Wouldn't you rather have her with someone she enjoys being with than having to worry all day that she is not being taken care of. Be happy you have a good babysitter that your daughter likes, what a bonus!

Dear D. M;

I think this is what happen when the child went to child care. Which I don't blame any parents who puts their children in child care. I think your daughter is used to be with her for so many hours and she was not with you, it is normal to behave like this. But you're her mother and that's what you will planted to her mind and heart that her mom love and care about her. When you're not working, please spend some time alone with your daughter playing or getting her involve with your life even in the kitchen to be your little helper. Always pay attention to her and give her a lot hug and kisses and keep saying that you love her from mom. Please be patient and understanding. Keep spening a quality of time with her when she comes home with you. I have four children two adults and two teenagers. I am a housewife and raised this four children. I keep them busy. Take care and cuddled her a lot and hugging,kissing,saying you love her over and over to her, she will remember that.

A.

I am a day care provider and this does happen. It makes me feel bad when it does, I feel for the moms because I know it must make them sad, and I am sure that it is very hard to leave your little ones with someone. But do look at it in a differnt way. Look how happy and loved your 9 month old is. You would be very upset (and you should be) if your daughter cried all day at day care. But she isn't, and believe me, your daughter loves you, you are her mommy, your provider isn't.

It could just be that she doesn't want change, meaning she is playing and she doesn't want to stop doing that. It is like if you take a toy from her while she is playing with it.

Things could be worse

S.

I think you are looking at it all wrong. You should be relieved that she likes the baby sitter. Don't take it personally (I know it's hard) but you need that help so be glad you don't have seperation anxiety. She's just probably confused going back and forth, and leaving comfort of a stranger is leaving comfort zone, not that she doesn't like you. I say it's just a phase. I remember feeling that a few times too. The child lives with you and over time will start to realize who is who. As a parent you have so much more love to give and she'll notice that eventually. I say be happy she likes her sitter! Yay! (I'd as the sitter about her routine and compliment her asking why your girl seems to like her so much). Maybe she'll tell you something about her that you didn't know, something the baby likes that you didn't know about, that you can do too so the baby is happy in both places. ;)

Be glad!! Just imagine she would cry all the time when you bring her there! She must be a good babysitter! I`m sure she still knows who her mom is, I don`t think you should worry.

Hi there, I had the same problem with my child care provider, my mother gave me a sound piece of comfort....be thankful that your baby is happy and comfortable where she is all day, you would feel a lot worse if your baby cried because she was being dropped off. As a mommy that works full time, that helped me out I would much rather drop my kiddo off somewhere she feels comfortable and loved. Plus, this is just a phase, when my daughter turned three, she held on to my legs and wouldn't let me go but as soon as I was out the door she was off playing with her friends.

I was just crying to husband about this very same thing last night. I have a 10 month old girl who I leave with my auntie during the day when I'm at work. Just in the last couple of days, when I pick her up, she just kind of ignores me. And when I held her, she would look for my auntie and puts her arms out towards her. Before then, when she saw me, she'd always do that to me! My husband said that I'm the MOM, and I shouldn't be worried and it's just a phase. I truly hope so. All the guilt of going to work and leaving her just comes rushing back. However, from experience (I also have a 2 1/2 year old), I think it's just a phase. My older daughter is so attached to me and she was under the care (and still is) of a daycare and now a pre-school. Please don't worry. She knows who her Mommy is. When you pick her up the last couple of times, she probably was in the middle of playing and she was interrupted. Try not to pick her up right away. Sit and play with her for a bit, talk to her, and when she's ready, she'll go to you. I promise.

I am a cop and there is one very important thing I have learned in my 8 yr career. Children of all ages identify most with the people who spend the most TIME with them.