My Almost 4 Yo Is Fighting Going to Bed at Night

Hi Christy, I am A., married mother of 5. First a question, is she in preschool, daycare or something where she is around other children?? It is possible that another child told her something that scared her, it could be a story she heard that scared her.

As for the bedtime routine instead of coming up with "make believe"(no offense intended) things for her, say prayers and tell her the God will watch out for her, that even though she can't see Him he is always there and will protect her from whatever is scaring her.

But I still say talk to her and find what has scared her, something got her scared, it might be she saw a scary movie at a friends house, any number of things.

Good Luck

christy,
wow, my 4yr old son went through this recently as well. my husband chose an interesting way to deal with it. (some people might find it a little exessive lol) he talked to him to find out where the monsters were coming from (under his bed and in his closet) the he sent him out to sit with me on the couch. all of a sudden we heard loud noises and toys getting tossed around. then daddy came out of his room all "sweaty"(from a squirt bottle) not to mention looking a little disheveled and out of breath. he told our son that he had "pulverized"(yes he used that word, a new one our son had picked up) all monsters and that they had all promised to stay away for good. we have not had a problem since! YAY!
anyways, i guess what i am telling you is be as creative as you can, and don't let her think you are joking.

Hi Christy,

Wow you guys must be really exhausted. I would maybe rethink the programs she may be watching throughout the day whether it be her shows or the shows that you are watching. Maybe take a look and see how much sugar or caffeine she is comsuming close to bedtime or throughout the day. Is there anything new or different going on in her life, ie daycare, new home, any stress within the home?
I hope you can find an answer from these suggstions because i can imagine the tension that is building up between all of you.
If you can, email me back and let me know if you found any solutions--i'm curious!

Stef

Wow! i can relate! my son did the same thing and yes it does get better with time and yes thats all it took was time. we gave him all the comforts he could need and stuck to a schedual and bedtime rutien. we even put on soft music. but when they are determined to get your attention they will find a way. his was to cry so hard that he would make him self vomit...yeah lucky me! so i had to go up and clean it up strip the sheets and him. after 3x in one week i decided to give him the silent treatment and just make sure he wasnt going to affixcate on his vomit. and just let him be and just clean up in the morning. hardest thing to do but worked. also they "grow" out of this. so i think you are doing everything right just dont give into her! set your rules. and dont give her rewards for staying in bed. instead make her own her actions---make her choose something to give to you of hers to be put in the "time out box" until she sleeps in her bed all night when she does give her back 1 thing...2 nights 2 things. good luck! G. ____@____.com of 3 (5,3 & 2)

I'm not sure what advice to give you, but I do know that I've heard things about the "cry it out" method that would make me advise against it. Apparently, it has been linked to sleep disorders later in life. To be honest, I personally believe letting a child "cry it out" until they fall into an exhausted sleep goes against every mothering instinct I have.

You have probably tried everything I could possibly suggest, but I'll have a go anyway... Have you tried both going to her room with her? Rubbing her back might help, and having a set bedtime ritual. My son and I used to play a few pattycake games, then go to the bedroom and read a story, then I'd rub his back until he fell asleep. I didn't leave before he fell asleep. Sometimes I would just rock him to sleep and try not to wake him when I laid him down. My son was very easy about sleep times, so I don't know what else to suggest. I hope things get better for you! Just keep in mind that this won't last forever.

Although it is very difficult to go through this, she will be OK. Once you and your husband stick to a plan and she sees that she is not going to get her way, she will understand and cooperate. One thing I tried with my son is letting him tire himself out during the day (less nap time, playing more) and bathing him in the soothing bedtime bath and lotion by Johnson's. It has lavender in it to soothe and relax baby. Hopefully this will work for you as well.