K.R.
boys are harder to get to sleep. Pick up the book "baby wise" by Ezzo and Bucknam. It works wonders. Don't be afraid to let the baby cry, especially if all of his other needs are met.
My 7-month old son has to be close to one of the worst sleepers of all time. On average he wakes up every single hour at night. Some nights it is worse. Rarely, it is better. I think how he came to be this way is pretty obvious, but I need help undoing it...
When he was 2 1/2 months old he started sleeping through the night. (Not the all night long thing, but 5-6 hour stretches every night.) He was sleeping in his crib and putting himself to sleep. Then we had plumbing issues, no water, torn down walls, ripped out kitchen, etc. etc. etc. It took months to get everything back in order and we moved out of our home several times during the process.
Anyway, right now he wakes up all the time. We have had a strict bedtime routine. The room is comfortable. There is background "white noise." He has a full tummy. And he doesn't sleep too much during the day. In fact we have just as much trouble getting him to sleep during the daytime. He will only sleep for 30 minutes or 1 hour before waking up and he only takes 2 naps during the day.
During the day he is so sweet and happy all day long. He never cries. He isn't a high-maintenance baby during the day, but at night it is a different story.
The most difficult part is that I am a teacher and working full-time. I am so tired most days that I feel I could die of exhuastion. Please help.
Well, I've tried much of your advice and nothing seems to work. My mother even came out from Wisconsin to specifically help me teach him how to sleep. She just seemed amazed about how little he actually sleeps and how often he wakes up. I've read books, watched videos...if something works one day, it won't work by the 3rd day. The first day you may be able to trick him to sleep, but then he figures it out and it won't work anymore. I really believe I am following all expert advice and it just isn't working. Like in the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" 92% of the kids were sleeping through the night after 60 days, but I think my child is the other 8%. Does anyone know of any child sleep studies?
boys are harder to get to sleep. Pick up the book "baby wise" by Ezzo and Bucknam. It works wonders. Don't be afraid to let the baby cry, especially if all of his other needs are met.
I read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and it worked out great for us. I know there are a lot of books out there, maybe one would work for you.
You might try putting a diffuser on his dresser and using relaxing essential oils. Fragrances like Lavender, Bay and Rose - among many others - are very relaxing.
M. M. Ernsberger
Certified Herbalist
is your baby teething? that can always throw a wrench into the nighttime. also, i would NOT recommend "crying it out" for any reason. I think the only thing that teaches a baby is that his voice and his requests for comfort will NOT be answered. Think of it this way: your hubby is having a hard time sleeping and he starts crying. Do you just leave the room and close the door and ignore his cries because you need to "teach" him how to sleep? No, you would never just ignore your husband's cries. So why do people think they can do this to their babies? By answering a baby's call at night, you are teaching your baby that you are their for him always and that his voice means something (and in this case, his cries are the only ways he knows how to use his voice to get your attention). I would try the No Cry Sleep Solution or try sharing a bed.
Well, seeing as you're not sleeping anyway, try this.
Watch him around the time you know he'll be waking again. You should notice that he begins fussing, breathing more, reaching for something etc. Fill that need. If he's looking for food (and he may be, he's SOOOOO young!) then feed him quietly and let him fall back asleep. If he's looking for comfort, then gentle him back to sleep.
I cosleep, so was able to see all these sleep patterns firsthand and get them taken care of BEFORE he woke up to fuss.
My guy never really started totally sleeping through the night till he was over a year old. Mostly yes, easy to get back down, yes, but totally sleep through? whew. It takes a long time for babies to mature. IMO, it's your job to embrace the two steps forward, one step back model of living.
One last thing. In the first months of life, most babies sleep through the night. I have come to call it the honeymoon period...lol.
Ok? so watch him and start helping him fall back asleep.
cheers!
Z.
I have 4 kids and they are all great sleepers (the youngest is just now 8 months). The most I have ever let any of them "cry it out" is MAYBE 10 minutes and that was only because I had to use the bathroom :-D. They just never needed to "cry it out". I am convinced that the thing that makes them great sleepers is having a regular routine. If they are not getting enough sleep during the day, they will be overtired at night and it will be like catching up on a bunch of little naps. Also, being on a routine helps him to know what is coming next so he is less likely to be too excited to sleep (since he is learning all sorts of fun new stuff!)
My 8 month olds routine goes like this: wake up around 8 (I won't let him sleep in past 8:30), bottle, cereal, play, naptime around 10/10:30, he usually sleeps 1-2 hours--I wake him up by 12:30 if he hasn't woken on his own, bottle, lunch, playtime, naptime around 2/2:30, again he sleeps 1-2 hours--I wake him up by 5 if he hasn't woken on his own, bottle, playtime, dinner with the family around 6:30, playtime, pajamas, bedtime at 7:30. Since he is teething he will occasionally wake up around 3 am, but usually goes right back to sleep within 15 minutes (I do not turn on any lights or look directly at him when I go in to check on him--both will cause him to become overstimulated).
The other trick that helps all of my kids is putting a noisy box fan in their room on high for white noise.
I know it seems counter intuitive to make a child take naps during the day to make them sleep better at night, but it is the truth! Also, if you have to get him up early, then he will need to go to bed earlier at night. Again it seems counter-intuitive, but if he is overtired he can't sleep well. Try moving his bedtime up by 15-30 minutes every night and see if it helps. And the other thing is, don't change up your routine on the weekend...sorry to say, no sleeping in for a while :-(. Just get used to taking naps when he does if you need extra sleep.
K.,
I have 3 little girls & it's tough to break a bad habit especially when it's not their fault. :( You gotta us some tough love. Let him cry it out. I would start it on a weekend when you can sleep a little more during Sat. & Sun. (hopefully) I remember having to let my oldest cry it out when she was about 19 months. She had been sick & I had rocked her in the night for awhile. Finally it was time to get her to sleep through the night again. She wasn't bad like your little guy though. I would try to go in when he wakes up, tell him you love him & it is time to go back to sleep. Then leave the room. Even at this young age he understand alot. Wait 5 min. & then repeat the process. Next time wait 10 min. Repeat & then wait 15 min. I would say after 20 min. you may just have to let him cry. He will get better every time he wakes up. Who knows, maybe he will only have to cry it out once & then will get the hint. I know that every time I've had to let my babies cry it out they catch on real quick & the next time the decide to get into that type of bad habit it gets easier to break. I hope this helps.
- C.
Girl, I am almost in the exact same boat. 7 month old boy, wakes up about every 2 hours on the GOOD nights, and only will nap for 30 minutes during the day. And for him to nap that much, I must be holding him for the whole nap. Luckily about once a week or so, he will give me at least one 3 hour stretch at night. He also did better when he was little, doing the whole 4 hour stretch thing. I have no idea what happened there. We haven't had any major changes or anything!
Anyway have you tried eliminating the white noise? I know that stopped helping my son at least 2 months ago. Good luck!
*I would just like to note that the American Academy of Pediactrics put out a warning against the book On Becoming Babywise because parents who followed that book started bringing in malnourished babies.
I recommend reading the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" It gives you an idea of how well your child should be sleeping at his age and tips of how to get him there.
I feel your pain. I remember everyone telling me that babies will sleep when they are sleepy, etc. Well HELLO, my son was apparently never sleepy. Anyway, he actually had to learn how to fall asleep. Since your issues has arisen because of the disruption of his "schedule," it's a little different. I would recommend you check out Dr. Weissbluth's book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It saved my life, and he addresses a lot if different situations.
How funny, I just posted the same thing. I work early so I understand what you're going through. Let me know if you hear anything good. My son also only sleeps in 20-30min spurts day or night.
K.
PS Maybe we're just the lucky ones whose babies don't need a lot of sleep LOL!!!!
Hi K. - I feel for you girl! I've been there before and it's tough to make it through the day when you haven't had enough sleep at night. I don't have much new advice to give you, but I would like to say this.
My first daughter got in the habit of allowing me the pleasure of getting her back to sleep all night, rather than learning to do it on her own. I know some people don't agree with allowing your baby to cry, however, here is my take on it to reduce any guilt you might be feeling over it!:
First, like all things with your children, isn't it better to help them learn to do it on their own, then to always do it for them? We don't tie our children's shoes forever, but instead we help them learn to tie them themselves (I'm also a parent of Montessori children, so the Montessori method has really taught me how to help them grow and be self-sufficient individuals, rather than do things for them!)
Second, if you choose to let your baby learn to put himself to sleep, you can still comfort him with your voice now and then, so that he doesn't feel completely abandoned. He will know you're there but he will also be learning how to help himself rather than be dependent upon you. I believe you can do this method with compassion and love in your heart and it does not need to be "mean" as some people may guilt you into feeling.
BTW, my first daughter who I coddled to sleep constantly when she was young, is now nearly 12 and still refuses to sleep in her own bed. She either still sleeps in bed with me, or on a couch in my room. Can you tell we still haven't moved beyond that dependency and I'm still not getting good sleep? haha. I learned from her and my other two daughters sleep in their own room or crib all night long, just fine on their own, but I did need to help them learn to get themselves to sleep - with compassion.
K.,
be sure that his bed/crib is placed on a wall that is not shared with a room on other side with lots of electronics, i.e. a kitchen wall with appliances or a wall wehre you AC unit is outside etc. Also make sure that when sleeping he has a "view" of any entrances, i.e. windows/doors to the room. Eliminate any mirrors in the room ( if closet doors are mirrored, cover them with fabric for a bit to see if it helps him to sleep. If you have a lot of pictures or people or animals eliminate some of them. You may also want to be sure the bedding is not in bold primary colors, but softer or earth colors, i.e tans peaches, blues, not bright red, yellows blues etc. These are all practical Feng Shui tips.
Let me know if you need any other help. L. S.
He isn't sleeping in the day either? Did you take him in and have his ears checked? Well if he is fine and still not aleeping, I absolutley love the book The No Cry Sleep Solution and have lent it out to my girlfriends when they have had problems getting their little ones to sleep. It gives you step by step suggestions on how to get them to start sleeping again! Good luck!
The only advice I have is to let him cry-I know that sounds mean but all his needs are met. He needs to learn how to self console. Who watches him during the day? They may have some ideas too but I had to have my daughters do that in order to keep my sanity. It usually only lasts 2-3 days. I actually received that idea from my pediatrician. I would suggest to do it over a weekend.
I'm wondering what you have to do to get him back to sleep each time he wakes up... is it a quick thing, rub his back and reassure him and then he goes back to sleep? Or is it that he fully wakes up and is difficult to get back down?
If it is only that he needs the reassurance, you might try a pacifier. I know, I know, many people will totally disagree, but it worked for us. Our dd was 7 months old when we moved and would not sleep through the night. I was so exhausted! I hadn't ever given her a pacifier before and was somewhat reluctant to introduce one, but I was so tired, I needed to try something. It worked. She started sleeping through the night, although I'd occasionally have to run in to find the pacifier if she lost it during the night, but it was a huge improvement.
I think sucking is such a powerful urge for babies and it really gives them comfort. We were careful in that she never got the pacifier outside of her crib - never. It was for sleeping only and she knew that. It never became a problem and she continued to have it at night until she was nearly three. (I was going to get rid of it a bit sooner, but little brother came along and I didn't want to disrupt things more for her). I figured as long as it was only at night, it wasn't going to harm her teeth or create a huge addiction. It really helped us and was no big deal to give it up, either.
K. I feel your pain! I thinnk I have the same child. My son is now 18 months old. He sleeps better but still wakes up atleast 1x at night. He has never needed a lot of sleep. I am a stay at home mom now but was a teacher and went back to work when he was 4 months old. By the end of the school year I was finally able to get him to sleep through the night. He was around your sons age. I left the house around 7:00 PM while my husbnad but him down. I could not take the crying so I had to leave. We did this for a few days and he finally started to put himself to sleep and to sleep through the night. We got a book called, The Sleepeasy Solution- The exhausted parents guide to getting your child to sleep. It is by Jennifer Waldsburger and Jill Spivack.
It will get better. Hang in there and try to take naps with him on the weekends. I know how hard it is to teach when you are exhausted.
There is a great book. Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. by Marc Wiesenbluth. It will save you. Good luck.
I have a 7 month old as well and how I got him to sleep through the night was a bedtime routine and sometimes letting him cry it out. Every night he eats his food, we give him a bath and massage with that Johnson's nighttime lotion (I think it really does make him sleepy!) then a bottle. After he finsihes that I just lay him down in his crib. He now will just go to sleep without any crying or anything but in the beginning I had to let him cry it out. After about 15 min. he realized it wasn't doing him any good and went back to sleep. Trust me, it's hard to let him cry so this method doesn't work for all parents but it worked for me. He now sleeps from about 7 or 8 at night all the way till 8 in the morning and goes to bed happy and wakes up happy. And after a full night of sleep so will you! Good luck!
K.,
My son never slept longer than twenty minutes at a stretch for the first 6 months and didn't sleep through the night until he was 2 years old. I survived, but I was sleep deprived. What I found out in later years was that he was gifted across the board. I often think he was so eager to learn, he didn't want to waste his time with sleeping. John is now 31 years old with a son of his own. I did finally take him to bed with us in self defense. Dr. Spock would say let him cry himself to sleep, but John would continue crying until he was throwing up. I threw Dr. Spock out the window. I got him to take naps during the day by lying down with him. Are you breast feeding? I was for 9 months and often wondered if I was eating something that was keeping him awake. Who knows? John was also a happy boy, but, I thank God he was my last and not my first. Yes, there may have been a lot of upset in his sleep routine, he may be a little spoiled, it may be different and probably is different in your case. My best suggestion is to test it out. If you put him in your bed or in his crib in your room, does he sleep better? If so, put him in a crib in your room near you for a while. Then slowly move the crib toward the door, then maybe in the hallway, and slowly work him back to his own room. You will make it through this, but you need someone to take him for several hours on the weekend and allow you to get some sleep.
My 8mo goes through spells like this and it is usually right around the time he is teething or learning a new skill such as sitting or crawling. My now 3yo did it too. Make sure you set an evening routine that is the same everynight. Some babies are stimulated by baths so you may want to try that in the morning instead. My older son had eczema so we had to lotion him up every night and that was part of our routine. Maybe try taking him on a short walk and see if the fresh air helps. Even try putting him to bed earlier, overtired babies have a harder time sleeping. I couldn't do the cio thing with my oldest because he would throw up (and I couldn't handle it)and now the baby would keep him up. It gets better, maybe talk to your ped sometimes they have great ideas.
All my children did that. Our doc was wonderful. He said to keep them up. So on Saturday. Wake him up at 6 am and keep him up until he just collapses. Our kids would last till 3 am. The next morning get him up at 6 am and they will be grumpy and tired. If he does take a nap let it only be for 1 hour and then keep him up until bedtime. Do you night time ritual and he should be back on track. My son loved the touch of some one and would always wake up after he was put down. We got him a teddy bear and it took a while but that worked.
hope that helps. Still do it too my kids when then are not active and their sleep habits get turn upside down.
kat
You have to let him cry it out a few nights. It's the only thing that works. When he wakes up and starts to cry, hold on to your husband and him you. He will probably cry for about 15-20 minutes. It's one of the most difficult things you will have to do as a Mom with a baby, but you gotta do it!! Hang in there.
Been there, Done That
K.
Seriously I have the feeling that your son has gas.
I just replied to the other post about sleep issues where I recounted my whole situation with my 6 month old, but another thing we have come up against, especially when introducing new foods in an effort to get her to sleep through the night was gas.
She would wake every half hour to an hour, and I would make the mistake of feeding her more. I was not recognizing the problem.
Now if she wakes that quickly I start with trying to burp her. I often get a really loud belch out and then she sleeps for 5 or 6 hours.
If the burping does not do the trick I watch for her to be kicking and pumping her legs. This is a more severe reaction to gas and then I give her the recommended dosage of the mylicon for infant gas. I put the dose in her mouth and quickly give her the pacifier which helps her to swallow the meds.
She is asleep in no time and rests peacefully.
Hope this helps.
F. G
Hi K. -
Well, it's hard to tell exactly why your son is doing this but it seems there are some possible signs ... for instance, your house in chaos when he was how old and for how long? He could have picked up on your emotions during that time and while it took a while to manifest, he's now feeling unsettled. And how long ago did your house get back to a less chaotic situation? While babies are pretty resilent, there's even a limit to their resiliancy!
Another thing ... you say he has a full tummy ... what is he eating? I put my kids on baby cereal at 3 weeks old because they woke up all the time during the night, wanting a bottle ... and yes, I know how exhausting that can be!!! UGH!!
I'm at ____@____.com if you'd like to chat ... or nmplantlady on Yahoo messenger ...
D.
I read the book On Becoming Babywise about eating and sleeping schedules and it's a big proponent of schedules. It is a little rigid for my liking (so I follow its ideas, but loosely), but it really gave me some great ideas for routines and how to get my baby to sleep which made such a difference for us once we started implementing them. I didn't like completely letting my kids cry and cry it out like the book recommends. I would recommend reading it (take what you like and discard the rest) because of the great ideas it offers, and I've heard that The Baby Whisperer is similar, but less rigid. I've also heard the "No Cry Sleep Solution" is terrific. Babywise gives you an idea of when they'll eat/wake/sleep for the different stages of the first year, and I really like that part of the book.
Bedtime routines are great. We change diaper, read a book, and sing a song before laying our baby down as our routine. As my son got older I added cleaning up toys at the very beginning of the routine. Kids thrive off of consistency, and knowing what to expect next gives them security. I personally like a schedule because I plan outings around it and have a pretty good idea when my kids will be well-rested and fed, so they won't be grumpy.
Getting my baby to fall asleep was a little bit of a struggle, but it became much easier as we followed the same routine every time and just pat her and talk/sing to her when she's fussy instead of picking her up. She learned to soothe herself and fall asleep on her own, so it's worth all the effort and energy.
Hello Tired Mommy,
Hmmm, I would feed him some cereal before bedtime, rice or oatmeal or wheatena. If that dosen't work maybe leave a light on and put a baby cam in there, and observe him on the moniter. Let him go back to sleep on his own.
Don't take him to bed with you. There are a lot of germs in your bed, and maybe allergins too.
Grandma Nix
Read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I LOVED it!
Just remember that with all things that happen with our kids "this too shall pass" I am a stickler for babywise and have done it since my kids were 5months. It is hard but after a couple of days they get it. So my advice would be to take the next couple of days and just don't get him. Yeah you will still be awake listening to him scream but after the week is over there will be peace again! (of course this is only assuming he has no other issues like a fever/ear infection) Right now, I would say that this has become a habit for him. And it needs to be broken. If you haven't heard of babywise, it is a book by Dr. Gary Ezzo. It is worth the read even if you don't follow word for word.
Does he wake up screaming or crying, or is it that he is just awake babbling? I am a first time mom of a ten month old and our peditrician suggested that when our son woke up in the middle of the night that we let him put himself back to sleep-just leave him and let him cry for a few minutes. I told her that would be tough for me, so she said to dilute his bottle. We did that for about a week and then he stopped waking up. Every now and then he will wake up and talk but lays right back down and falls asleep. I hope this helps.
I had the same problem with my son, although I don't remember how old he was. I used a book about the 'Ferber(sp?) method' that I got from the library. They go over techniques to help teach your child how to soothe himself back to sleep when he wakes up in the night. Make sure that 7 months old isn't too young to start. If I remember it right, it is okay. Some people think it is harsh because you have to let them 'cry it out', but it is a controlled timing on your part- 5 min., 10 min. and then 15 min., and continues 15 min. each time. When the time period is up, you go and pat their back, talk in soothing tones and leave the room until the next time period is up. They say it can take up to 14 days, but my son changed back to sleeping through the night in 2 days!! The trick is not to give in!! It will be hard to hear him cry, but remember, you are doing the best thing for him by teaching him how to sleep so that he too can get the rest he needs. If you give in, you will make things much worse because you have shown him that if he screams and carries on even longer, you will finally appear and do what he wants. Be extremely consistant!! Sometimes children will cry so much that they throw up- just soothe him and clean him up and go back to your pattern. It WILL get better. Short time misery will bring you long term results that are worth it for the both of you! My son wasn't much of a napper either, so I didn't do this for naps. I figured if he slept for a half hour, so be it as long as he slept through the night! Good luck!! Check out the book and try starting this on a Friday night since it could take a couple of hours. You will be glad that you did!
There is a wonderful book that has helped me with both my kiddos - neither of which were good sleepers or nappers before. Both of them are doing great now.
The book is called "Good Night, Sleep Tight," by Kim West. I found a cheap used copy on Amazon.com. It teaches you the science of sleep and how to get your kids to sleep better in a way that is gentle to you and them.
Best of luck to you!
J.