Okay Ladies, talk me down!
The 8 year old new neighbor boy innocently kissed my daughter last night. They were dressing up in her room and playing 'Mr. Fox and Mrs. Fox get married'. I now pronounce you man and wife and then you kiss the bride, right? Sounds like innocent play. My husband was in the next room on his cell and halfway listening to make sure there was no inappropriate behavior. My little boy (3) was there, too as the baby, so this really sounds like regular play.
When I asked my 6 year old daughter if anything else happened, any touching or anything, she said, 'he held my hand'. But apparently, they kissed numerous times, because they got married numerous times.
I tried to keep calm and not TOTALLY FREAK OUT because I don't think anything unseemly happened. But I told her that she was way too young for kissing - especially on the lips and that it was not allowed.
So my question is, do I tell the mom? Do I tell the boy that it's not allowed - I really don't want to embarass him. Or do I leave it up to my daughter to handle the situation? I think she's far to young to take care of it herself.
What do you think, Ladies?
Holy cow! Calm down. It sounds perfectly innocent to me. I'd mention it to the other mom "Apparently we're family now...since they got married 20 times and sealed each vow with a kiss!"
Aw, that sounds adorable actually, from an outsider's perspective. My son is only 3 months so I can't give you any sort of authoritative advice. But I will say that when I was about 5, my best friend was the boy up the street, and though I don't think we ever kissed (we did get married though!), we did "compare parts", which is quite a bit further than kissing. It was totally innocent though and neither of us was scarred from it.
I'd guess that your daughter and her friend are just doing what they've seen grownups do, with no idea what it means or what it can lead to, and thus no idea that it's not for kids. Probably the best thing to do is just talk to her about kissing and why grownups do it. Maybe if she wants to express friendship (or keep getting married) they can stick to kisses on the cheek.
I think you may be over-reacting just a tiny. How about just keeping a close watch on these two while introducing them to other games you would be more comfortable with. School, Firemen, etc...
Ugh. We had a similar situation. I wanted to tell the other parents my husband did not. I continued to have the other child over but I told my child what was apporiate behavior and what was NOT apporiate behavior.
You can kiss family members on the lips. mommy ,daddy,grandparents and siblings and that is it.
Just tell the kids next time when they start playing sorry guys your too young for that ...no thank you.
i think you can have a relaxed fondly amused conversation with the mom (isn't this adorable? but let's encourage 'em to cheek-kiss) but absolutely don't freak out.
my dear friend and neighbor found her 3 year old daughter and my 4 year old son doing 'look what i've got that you don't have!' under the staircase. we were both a bit shaken, but i'm so grateful to her (one of the many reasons i adore her) that we both agreed to stay calm and just have a low-key discussion with our respective spawn about private parts. no trauma anywhere.
don't freak.
:) khairete
S.
I was 7 when I got my first kiss, also with the neighbor boy, though we weren't playing wedding. I have no idea why we even thought to do it - probably just curiosity. It was innocent.
I would say don't worry about it but be sure to let your daughter know that she needs to tell you if anything happens that makes her feel uncomfortable. Chances are, unless they somehow know about more sexual things, the novelty of kissing will wear off and they'll move on to playing some other make believe game.
You may want to mention it to the boys mom though - not in a freaking out/angry way, but just to let her know that her son had his first kiss!
I suggest telling the boy's parent, but not in an attacking way. Try to make light of it, just casually mention the game and the kisses. See how she takes it. They are old enough to understand that men and women share very special things with each other, like kissing. This could be the beginning of a first crush for the boy, or since he's older he wants to try things out. If that's the case, just keep an eye and ear open when they play. Ask your daughter about their games, no need to interrogate her every time, just remind her that a kiss on the cheek is 'ok' and so is a hand holding, but nothing else.
I hope this helps.
This is not unusual at all! I remember when I was in 1st grade and a little boy chased me on the playground and tried to kiss me all the time. My first son also spoke about having girlfriends in Kindergarten! Now you are right in making sure your daughter doesn't allow it again. She is too young for kissing, just tell her that maybe they should play something other than "getting married". Then the next time the little boy is over, just tell him with your daughter that you would prefer they play a different game and they are too young for kissing. This little boy will probably just shrug it off and move on.
Good luck to you!
boys will become yucky again mom. they are just imagination playing. let her handle it. tell her daddy will get jealous if he kisses her it should remedy itself.
I think you're right. She's far too young to handle this on her own. I think an 8 yr old boy and a 6 yr old girl could be dangerous (depending on the kid) how well do you know him? I dont think playing in her or his room unsupervised is appropriate. It was probably all innocent fun and play but you never know.Kids learn thing at young ages and want to try things out for themselves. I'd be careful but not over dramatic at this point. a kiss on the lips with mouthes closed is not devastating. Open...thats another story.
Ok...I know this sounds bad, but they were just playing. It could be MUCH worse. My brother and the neighbor girl grew up together. Born two months apart from each other, took baths together when baby sitting up until about 3 then that was obviously stopped. They were like siblings. Still are and now are going on 20! Best of friends, never more....EXCEPT for that one time. They were 6 and upstairs playing at the neighbors house. That Mom was super strict, great at watching the kids. No concerns. She heard the kids get silent so she went up to check on them. They were playing doctor except they didn't have any gowns to put on. Her daughter was naked. Nothing happened in an inappropriate manner. No touching down there or anything. They were sitting there listening to her heart, giving her a shot, etc. The mom called my mom and said "JB is on his way home. Here's what happened. I'm talking to KK about it now."
TO THIS DAY its the biggest joke. It may even come out in a wedding speech soon.
They were talked to about girls not being undressed in front of boys and such, and weren't allowed to play upstairs alone ever again. The parents remained friends. No hard feelings. They are both very well behaved 20 year olds in college doing excellent on their own. As I said, still best of friends. Pretend play is what they do, it's how they learn and sometimes they know more than they should and take it too far. They just need rules and reminders.
Awww My daughter was kissed the first time and slugged the boy. They were both in kindergarten.
I think it shows that both you and the friend's parents have good solid relationships adn yes grownups kiss, but kids don't.
I would tell the mom and have her handle it. Tell her we have told Julie that there is to be no kissing on the face, maybe the hand if you dont' want to ban it altogether.
THey will get older and he will be 14 before her. Right now it is innocent but it could soon become not so much so.
