My 6 Year Old Is Jealous of My Home Day Care Kids

Updated on January 14, 2008
S.N. asks from Sturgeon Bay, WI
5 answers

Hi
I have a home day care in my home and my 6 year old son is in kindergarten all day but when he gets home he gets really offensive with the other kids i watch about the activitites they got to do during the day and gets mad that they did a fun project or got to go somewhere and he didnt. I try to make special time with him to do what he wants to do but he just says not and its not fair. Im not sure what to do with this? I try to be fair upon everything that we all do when he gets home from school. The fact is he doesnt really get along with the kids either making it hard on me to be fair to him, when im always aruging with him or putting him in time out. Help with any advice.
Thanks
S. N.

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N.W.

answers from Davenport on

Oh, I can totally feel your pain! I have done home daycare since before my son was born....and he's 7 1/2 now! We started haveing issues when my son started school too, but I think it's important to remember that rules are rules. He can't be rude or mean to the other children or you for that matter. It's also important to remember that even though you do daycare, HE'S not at daycare, he's at home! Don't make him follow everything the daycare kids have to do. Let him have a special snack or work on special projects or play with his own things. Do give him some time of his own when he first gets home, talk about his day, see what he's up to, what he would like for a snack, etc. Get him on his way and then don't to cater to his every whim. If he keeps whining or trying to argue with you...then proceed with a time out or other consequence.

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

I agree with lea to some extent, one thing that drives me crazy to hear a child say is....thats not fair. Life isn't fair and sometimes we do things because we have to not because we want to or because it is fun ect, I start this early with my kids, be consistant with him let him know that his behaviour isn't ok, just as you are doing, he will move past it, part of it is just a phase, but please don't cater your afternoons and evenings to him, it isn't doing him justice, do give him that extra hug and kiss not because he did good, but "just because" he is a wonderful person, tell him that to, that they are just because. good luck it will pass.

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T.S.

answers from Boise on

Hi there S., My name is T. and I also tend daycare kids out of our home. I have a 5 year old step-son that gets jealous as well. What I do is make sure that all rules aplly to everyone. If he is nastly to other children, I make him go to his room, and he doesnt get to play with any of the other kids. That makes him mad, and if that doesnt work, I then start taking toys and video game time away from him. Try and make some part of your house off limits to the other kids, if possible. I take him in my room to watch cartoons occasionally and the daycare kids arent allowed in there. Most of the time we do that during quiet time in the afternoons. Also, when we go to a fast food restaraunt, I dont let the kids have the toys out of the meals. I keep them for a "prize basket." When all the children are ready to leave on a Friday afternoon, I will let them pick a prize. I also stock it with little toys or small peices of candy from the dollar store. Everyone looks forward to Fridays here and is on their best behavior. If they arent then no one gets a prize. Give it a try and see how it works! Have a good day.

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M.A.

answers from Saginaw on

Hi S.,

I had a in home daycare for awhile and also saw alot of negative attention seeking from my own children. They just wanted my attention and would do anything good or bad to get it. I found that making mom an me time once a wk really helped. I would give them a day and time to look forward to each week when just one child and I would go shopping, out to eat, to the park for a picnic, etc something away from everyone else and just one on one with my child and I.

Another thing that helped was let them help with things that they think are only for big people like cleaning, laundry, cooking etc. This really makes them feel special and important. Another thing we do is a smile VS X system which works out great. We have a set of 5 house rules and chores they are responsible for. If they follow all the rules they get a smile and if they break the rules they get a X. The kids actually sat down and helped create the rules and rewards.
Example Rules: No Mean words, Respect others things and space.
Example Rewards: 1 Smile = Hug
2 Smiles = 2 Hugs and a Good Job pat on the back
3 Smiles = Getting to help cook for the day
4 Smiles = Choosing a game to play with mom and dad
5 Smiles = Getting a special prize out of the grab bag
Grab bag has thing like candy, webkinzs cards, markers, craft paper, cars etc anything of interest to your child.
Well I hope this helps.

MOAT aka Mommy of a Tribe

I do have 5 kids 7,6,4,17month twins but I think even with two children this will work.

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L.B.

answers from Sioux Falls on

I dont know how long you have been doing daycare in your home, but its probably just a phase, like having a new baby in the home. He probably just needs some time to adjust to the fact he has to share you, now with more then just his brother. Also if he is in full day kindergarten, and this is the first time he is away from you like that, its another transition that he has to adjust too. It takes time, patience, and understanding on both your parts. He is old enough to sit down and have a talk about it with. Heart to Heart, especially if you can start them early, will help him open up to you about everything, even when he is older. Good Luck!

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