My Three Yr Old Has Candy Every Weekday After Nap - How Do I Stop This?

My son and I were in a similar situation when he was three. It started after Halloween and he remembered that he was allowed one piece of candy per day. He woke up asking for it.

Two hints. Don't just stop. It's not that important. Try showing her that there are 5 pieces of candy left and when those are gone there won't be any more. Every day you talk about when it will end. She will have time to prepare and get use to the idea.

Something a little sweet after a nap is always nice. My younger son gets warm soy milk in a sippy cup. It is also the way I coerce a nap as he know he will only get the milk if he sleeps. Chocolate milk might be ok or having tea time with you. My boys love the very berry herbal teas with a teaspoon of honey.

Good luck.

I would start with taking all candy out of the house and just state that we won't be having any in the house any more for whatever reason sounds reasonable but then substitute something like fruit snacks or dried fruit or something else that is a little on the sweeter side but not candy. You can save candy for the special treat out. Just thoughts not an expert in the area.

Sounds like there is no harm in a small treat after eating a healthy lunch. I see nothing wrong with this, except only after lunch! That is the best time in a day. If my son whines for it earlier- I remind him after he eats. Vitamin, meds (if ever needed) and treats come only after eating well as a rule in my house.

Dear M.,

You know, looking forward to something and maintaining rituals are very important and powerful to our mental and emotional health!

And it seems like both are at play here. Why not keep the ritual, but change what she is looking forward to? In the morning or the previous evening, make something together that is a little healthier, such as home-made lower sugar cookies or a protein fruit smoothie. I would think that if you just treat it naturally, simply and say, I am all out of candy, so let's make cookies for after nap today. Will you help me? Then make the cookies and serve the cookies, and have fun!

Second, it is very typical that young kids need to eat after a nap - they are simply hungry! My grandmother used to say that if you crave sugar you need protein. So, the two snacks above will provide protein and other healthy nutrients (depending on the ingredients you use).

Third, what happens on the weekend? Is there something you can build on there?

Regards,
D.

One day you and she will look back with smiles and say, "remember when you were three? You always had to have candy after a nap!"

I also have a 3 year old and it's so hard to get her off of an idea that she has stuck in her head! You are lucky that your daughter does take a nap everyday! Mine ends up having "quiet time" where she plays quietly in her room and I take a nap! : )

The other moms have wonderful suggestions. Here's another. How about substituting the candy for a marble in a jar. When the jar is full, then you can do something special together? You could go to the park, to the zoo, a bounce house, anything! : ) Good luck!

S.

Hi M., the idea of candy after the nap is not really just in her "mind" if she actually get to have it, then it has become a reinforced behavior that she expects. I think it is time for you to take charge and say that we are not doing this because it is not good for your teeth. I would also be aware of reinforcing the idea that food and snacks are "rewards", especially having a girl, it is important that you try to avoid opening the door to eating disorders.You do not have to reason with her or involve her in this decision, she is only three years old and does not have the sophisticated thinking that is required to make this kind of change. Be firm but loving and good luck!

Funny how the little devils think they are "entitled" to candy or sweets everyday! I am trying to make mine, ages 4 and 6, realize they are not. My 6 year old was crying every night at bed time and my four year old talking back all the time, so I made them a deal if he went to sleep without givng me any problems and she went a week without talking back I would get them the cds they wanted, Jonas Bros. and Hannah Montana. They did it and I gave them what I promised and I explained that they can obvioulsy do what is asked of them and now they need to do it because it is the right thing, not beacause they are getting something, and if they don't do what they need to they will lose the cds in a quick minute. Point is, if there is something really special she has been asking for maybe you can do something similar. The pother responses are good, but maybe you can hide the candy who's to say maybe you don't need a piece sometimes while she is finally asleep or maybe you want to suprise her here or there with the special candy treat. I think when we don't let them have something at all they want and bug us for it more, just my opinion, obviously we all have our own that's what makes the world or around!! Good luck!

You answered your own question. Be the mom, take the authority and tell her you won't do that any more. If you can't control a child when she's three, think of the problems you'll have with a teenager! Our society seems to think you can reason with two- and three-year-olds. But young children don't know what's best for them and frankly don't care anyway. So we parents need to set the rules and discipline our children because we love them and don't want any harm to come to them. (PS You don't have to keep candy in the house!)

No matter how innocent we think our children are the fact is they are developing a personality with focus on getting their needs met. At her young age she doesn't know the difference betweeen needs and wants and has clearly devised a way to get candy at a specific time each day. Give her credit for being so smart, then change the game so your parenting and her health wins out.

First I suggest, when you are preparing to lay her down, tell her "Today when you wake up we will do (x)". Then do it. Do something different each day so she understands that each treat is different from the next and doesn't come to expect the same thing each day. If she asks about the candy tell her honestly (after you have removed the candy from the house) that it is not good for her to always have candy and that there isn't any more candy in the house and then reiterate the new treat. This new treat would idealy be something that she wouldn't get easily at home, like a tv show, a movie from the video store, a ride on a toy out side your local grocery store, help you bake or make something. Get creative, your sure to find many inexpensive things to do that don't take out of your regular time.

If you find that she doesn't not understand this and is very uncooperative than you can purchase some vita-gummies from the store. and just make her time to take them (or a portion of them) for after her nap. Some parents may think that we shouldn't ever trick our children but in reality as adults every single on of us does it all the time, especially if you make your child believe in Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy etc.
Best Wishes,
J.

Tell her she can have a snack, but it can't be candy every day. Substitute with fruits, fruit smoothies, frozen yogurt or some other healthy snack. You just have to say no. My 3 year old son asks for candy EVERY day, but I just stand firm and give him other options. Some days he takes my other options, some days he would rather go without. Fine with me!

Hi, M.:

Maybe after her nap, when she makes the request for candy, you can start offering her dried fruit (that has not been sweetened with sugar). At least this way she'll be getting natural fruit sugar and the nutrients in the fruit.

L.

Hi M.,
We have a 4.5 year-old who used to try to make up/implement rules all the time. We had to explain to him that Mommy, Daddy, and his teachers set the rules. Did he like this? No! Would he occasionally pitch a fit? Absolutely. We did give him opportunities to set rules when it did not really matter to us (e.g., if we were playing a game); we did not want the poor guy to think he had no control at all over his life. Most of his rule setting attempts appeared to stem from his wanting to test limits -- totally normal for that age. Does your daughter go to preschool? Perhaps she has a friend who told her about getting candy as a reward for eating lunch. Anyway, imho, you need to go cold turkey (no lunch pun intended) with her on this. Rewarding a clean plate or even simply rewarding "good" eating often leads to unhealthy relationships with food. So does rewarding *with* food. A great author to read is Ellen Satter (not sure I'm spelling her name correctly (Ellyn?), but one of her books is "Child of Mine"). Your daughter needs to understand that food is fuel for her body, pure and simple. If candy is going to be part of a meal (which it is, on occasion, with us), Satter suggests giving the candy (or other dessert) at the same time as the rest of the meal. Sure, your daughter is likely to eat the sweets first, but when no more arrive she will eat the rest of her meal -- maybe not day one I suppose, but our son has never refused to eat the rest of his meal because of having a dessert item first. We also do not have a sweet as a given for each meal, not even close. He doesn't seem to care. Your daughter is used to a pattern, and I'm sure she will be upset at first, but that's a small price to pay if the end result is that she develops a healthier relationship with food than many of us (myself included) did. No food is special -- some have more nutrition and some have very little so we don't eat them very much -- and food is not a reward. Good luck and check out Satter. Her books come highly recommended by pediatric docs and nutritionists.

I would take all of the candy out of the house. The next time she asks explain to her and show her that there is no candy in the house for her to eat. She will most likely have a temper tantrum but stay strong and eventually she will stop asking. My step-mom is a psychologist and says that is takes 3 weeks to break a habit.

You can try a few fun things as incentives:

1. A "Nap" chart. Use stickers and small dollar store prizes for incentive instead of candy everytime she takes a nap without a fuss. Have her do the physical placing a reward sticker on the day she takes a good nap immediately after she wakes up. You can have her help you decorate or color a special "prize box" or "treasure box" that you keep the prizes in and after she places a sticker on the chart she can go into the special box and choose one toy for that day. (I did this method with my daughter for potty training and it worked great, it's adaptable with basically any kind of action you want to teach your young child)

2. If you are okay with tv or movies, offer an incentive of watching a special show or dvd IF she takes a nap and falls asleep without a fuss. This works well with playdates and parktime offers, too, when the weather is a bit warmer.

3. Offer up a more nutritious snack, such as, pudding, applesauce, or even a sugar-free treat, like popsicles. My 4 yr old daughter loves the real fruit popsicles as a special treat.

On a good note, your daughter sounds like she will be very receptive to rewards based upon a routine and that is so important for children at this age! Congrats on accomplishing that habit early-on!

Have fun with incentives, the prize box and rewards chart works wonders and it's fun to do, too. You can even make a theme with it if she likes princesses or animals, the dollar store has lots of inexpensive cute toys and rewards so filling up a box for $10 is totally worth ending the whole candy fight, in my opinion!

Good luck, let us know how it goes!

Try doing something that your Three year old likes to do instead of candy. If you occupy their mind with something else it may work.

Maybe when you give her lunch tell her that she has to eat it all but she wont get a candy after, she will just be a big girl. telling my little ones if they did something they would be big boys for some reason always helped. Maybe you can offer her something like fruit or a veggie. My kids go crazy over anything that has ranch with it. I always gave my kids a snack after nap. I really don't know why they just had lunch before they went to sleep they really shouldn't be hungry I would think but they alway were. Hope that helps with ideas good luck

It is okay to tell your child "NO" and give her a healthy alternative. Or you can give her fruit snack made of 100% fruit juice and no preservatives (at my home, that is considered "candy"). They will be upset for a while, but they will get over it. Please keep in mind, you are the adult and parent, and your child has to mind the decisions you and your husband makes for them.

Good Luck!!!

I've found that finding the good in the change I'm contemplating is a good place to start. One approach I've used for something like this was to make the change a natural consequence of your daughter growing into a bigger girl. For example: When she was a "baby" she had the candy after her nap, but now that she's older she can switch to something that an older child can appreciate.

Think of how you are going to sell this new story, and have the replacement be something that you can live with. You may also want to transition away from a food-type reward. Perhaps spending some quality time with her doing something that you both enjoy would be better.

Good luck!

I agree with the previous post: there's nothing wrong with one piece of candy a day. It sounds like she eats a healthy lunch, takes her nap like a good girl and then asks for one piece. It would be different if she was demanding handfuls of candy or wanting it before her lunch or in place of her lunch. Why not just let it be, give her the treat and then brush her teeth afterwards? One candy a day isn't going to hurt her. You can always get sugar-free candies, or try getting some candied or dried fruit and calling it candy. In our house, we call dried fruit, frozen berries and frosted mini-wheats "candy" and use it for treats. Our child's convinced she's getting away with something when we give her an extra treat, and she's delighted.

I know this may sound a bit on the simple side but have you tried telling her the tooth fairy came and traded her candy for these cool stickers? If you need further incentive, you could give her a poster (or something much smaller since she's young) to cover with the stickers and she could get a new toy when the poster is covered. Just a thought.

Have you thought about healthy snacks such as apples, oranges, bananas and dried fruit. She may just be looking for a little attention too. Just the fact that you are doing something for her gives her comfort and assurance of your love. Maybe hugs and a story or rocking rather than the snack. good luck. elaine

My daughter loves the princess gummy vitamins. They taste like regular gummy's and look like it too. So you can give her a vitamin daily and she will think its candy :)

Hi M.,
I fell into that same situation with both of my girls(9yrs old & five years old, now). I stopped by choosing a smaller candy at first. Like 1 hershey kiss. Then I started preparing a small fruit snack instead of the candy. They both LOVED the fruit. By the way, it's a great time of year to get mandarin oranges, that's "natures candy". Good luck!

A lot of parenting a toddler has to do with diversion...creating one quickly off the top of your head. Since this is a premeditated diversion it should be easier for you to pull off. Basically the next naptime have ready some sort of fruit, sweet fruit like strawberries or blueberries. You can even mush them up or puree them and freeze them to make a slushie type snack. This will move her to a fruit snack. Now the easiest way to do this is to make a HUGE deal out of it..make it a very special treat, more special than the candy. You'll hit rough spots..kids are smart and can usually figure out a diversion rather quickly, but it will make it easier to stick to your guns at that point. It would be a wise move to remove ALL candy from the house before that first fruit day as well.

Good luck!

Have you thought about switching to a non-food reward system? For example, you could try setting up a star or sticker chart to use at lunchtime to slowly wean her off the candy. If your daughter eats her lunch, she could be offered a special sticker to put on the chart after her nap each day instead of candy. During the first week, she could earn a candy for every two stickers on the chart. Then, slowly up the ante such that during the second week she would need three stickers for a candy, during the fourth week, four stickers, etc. Eventually the candy could be faded out completely and a non-candy reward could be substituted. Some kids will just work for the stickers!

M., I like your idea about being the authority and telling her you don't do this anymore. I am sure she will be fine with it.

Use fruit instead.... How much candy are you giving her? One piece a day if she is a good eater cant really be that bad ....can it? Before you know it she will be in school and that will break the habit for you.

I would try integrating in a different 'treat'. The gummy suggestion is good, I also found these dark chocolate, organic, not too sweet, granola bars at costco. They have a lot of protein and we use them as a treat in our house, the kids think they are eating candy.

Perhaps replacing the candy with something she loves (or you know she will love)...as an example, maybe after her nap each day she can earn a bead for a pretty necklace or bracelet. Tell her that over a week-long period, she can earn one or two beads each day after her nap, and at the end of the week, you can help her use those beads for some jewelry, or an art project, etc. (barring you have no other little ones around - you didn't mention if your other daughter was older or younger - then having little beads around wouldn't be a good idea).

Perhaps a star chart that she can put the stickers on herself, showing a week-long earning of star stickers, then take her to a dollar store once a week (or once a month, if you choose) and pick out something with your approval.

When I potty trained my three-year old son, I started off with a mini gumball machine, which worked great (he potty trained himself practically, and in less than a week). That was two months ago. Unfortunately, now every time he goes to the bathroom, he still expects a gumball reward. So, now we've had to replace them with other little things like stickers, a special trip to the park, etc. It's been tough because he REALLY loved those gumballs!! But it's getting better each day!

Good luck!

Hi M.,

Just STOP doing it!
You are the boss, not your daughter! She is yanking your chain!

You know what is best for her and that is not to have candy every day. You DIDN'T promise her a piece of candy after nap, tell her that and just STOP!

You can do it and she will be better off for it both because of the candy not being good for her every day and because she will know that you are setting boundaries and she wants them.

You can do it and you really MUST.

I like Jessie M's advice. That is a good idea. another idea is gradually change her way of thinking, instead of a candy treat, maybe you and her can make something together like a smoothie and freeze it. after her nap,she can eat the frozen smoothie as her treat. good luck

Maybe try replacing the candy with a package of chewy fruit snacks - My 2 1/2 year old loves them, they have many characters (Little Einsteins and Dora y Diego, etc.) You could also try dried fruit and tell her it's candy - some of it tastes like it!

I really like the suggestions the other mothers gave. The only thing I have to add is that you can trade out the candy for a more nutritional but still sweet snack like dried fruit.

Consider substituting the sweet fruit "roll-ups" that come in packaged sheets or even candy shapes then gradually move toward real fruit, yogurt, etc. If you like flavors, your child might accept the slow exchange from sugar to real food.

You may not like what I have to say, but here it is. SHe is old enough to understand no. WHen she gets up from her nap, and asks for it, say plainly, you may not have candy anymore after nap. Yes, she will cry and whine, but continue to tell her no once more then let that be the end of it. If she continues to cry or whine quietly put her on a time out or in her room. Even though she is almost 4 she is manipulating you if you give in to her. I do not recommend substituting anything for the snack except an activity, even then a simple no needs to be sufficient. My twin 4 year olds used to get me all the time to the point that I was worn out. I finally realized what they and I were allowing to happen and now when I say no, they understand I mean no. I am not mean about it just matter of fact, if Mommy says no, she doesn't want any arguement. Good luck!

Personally, I would do one of two things. I would either tell her that candy isn't good for her teeth and that you won't have candy after nap anymore and then stick with it. Or even better, don't have candy inside the house at all so you can't give in.
Or get sugar free candy like jelly bellies or gummy worms and just give her like three sugar free jelly bellies or one gummy worm after nap. Then she is getting her "candy" but at least it won't rot her teeth.
Good luck!

next time she ask just tell her no. children need to know that parents make rules not them, they need rules, structure, and guidance in order for them to feel secure & loved.

Hi - Becuase this has been going on for some time, you might want to give her a day or two to adjust to the new rule. Explain to her in the morning that starting on what day you choose, she will no longer get a piece of candy after her nap and then just stick to your decision.

You are right, you are the mom and you make the rules and have the right to change them at any time.

Hope this helps.

You are very wise to want to change the habit. The high sugar content in candy, cookies, ice cream and many processed foods like chips, packaged meals and "fruity" yogurts is very damaging to the teeth. especially baby teeth, which have quite thin enamel. Sticky sweets like caramel, gummy bears and even raisins are the worst, because the sugar is "glued" to the teeth, often for hours.
So, how to change? Most 5-year olds (let alone almost-fours) have little understanding of long, elaborate explanations of rules, expectations, or consequences. You can tell her that you asked Dr. Smile (or whoever her dentist is) about the candy treat, and she told you that it would make holes in her teeth, so you can't give her candy after her nap anymore. Have several types of fruit or vegetables (carrot, celery sticks) that you know she likes on hand and have her choose one. If she objects, in a matter-of-fact manner, say "Well, I guess you don't want a treat after your nap." Stick to your guns. It's worth it. It's also definitely advisable to eliminate all candy except for special occasions, just by letting her choose a healthy substitute. She may not even blink an eye. Concentrated sugar can be "addictive", but if you stop buying it, you'll have an easier time breaking the habit. Another suggestion: if you think she's old enough for an "experiment". buy five or six in-season fruits, cut several small pieces of each one when she's not looking, and do a blindfolded taste test to let her decide which one is the absolutely most delicious. Make a game of it.

Another observation: children generally eat the amount of food they need and then stop. Perhaps she doesn't clean her plate because she is full. Try serving her half as much, and if she eats it all and asks for more, you can always give it to her. Her stomach is still small, and so she might need to eat more often. If this works for you, then the candy bribe becomes unnecessary.

I have two grown daughters, both of whom had erratic eating patterns. I tried to go with the flow, offer them nutritious meals and snacks, and let them figure it out. They didn't starve. I also have a family dental practice in Cupertino, so the candy issue is a big one for me. Can you tell? D. Cotner