My 3 1/2 Year Old Saying I Dont like You to Her Dad

Next week, it will be something else-tell Dad not to take it too seriously and don't make a big deal out of it-she is just being a baby struggling with trying to gain some autonomy and self determination. She sounds very bright, just explain calmly that that is not nice and move on to the next phase. All the best!

I see this a language issue and just redirecting her so she articulates what she means better. My children often said things like this. I didn't make a big deal out of it. Rather I helped them find words for what they really meant. For us, this type of expression came out because they were feeling sweat on the other parent and rather than express it in the positive, they expressed it in the opposite negative. If that makes sense. So for us, I'd just help mine to say things like, "I love my dad but right now I"m just really loving my mom." I had to tell them that they could like their dad and their mom at the same time. It wasn't an either or. Not sure this applies in your case. But while I would direct her to say what she needs to say differently, I wouldn't go making a huge deal out it it. This is not an issue of disrespect but more likely a lack of ability to express what she really means to say.

P.,

Welcome to mamapedia!!

This is typical behavior...not all kids go through this - but many do. They are learning their independence and that words hurt and can have an affect on others.

Tell your husband NOT to respond to her. Basically IGNORE it. You can choose to put her in time out - but that will only teach her NOT to express herself. So I would ignore it and press on.

Good luck!!

They do this - it's a stage - and it's totally normal.
At that age our son was intensely jealous of anyone besides him that I paid any attention to.
We were surprised when me and Daddy were hugging when our son pushed his way between us, pushed Daddy away from me and said:
"MY Mommy! Get your own Mommy!".
Poor Daddy!
And I never expected this little boy would feel so possessive of me.
Well, he and Daddy became best buddies - they went to look at fire trucks together, he was Daddy's little helper (with his very own real tool belt), helped Daddy put together his wagon and tricycle - I deliberately became busy with something else so the guys could do things without me (great time to go take a nice LONG bubble bath!).
A little later son went through a period when he thought all girls had cooties and they were yucky.
I told him "But Mommy's a girl, Dear" and he got this horrified look on his face then said 'Mommy is NOT a girl! Mommy is MOMMY!".
It will be fine.
Just take some time to step out and let her and Daddy figure it out - they'll find something that just they like to do together and they'll bond just fine.

She's pretty bright, usually this doesn't start till they are about 4. She's learning what power she has over the adults in her life. She has the power to make her dad, sad. When it stops being fun, she will quit doing it.

Let dad ignore her. Do stuff without her. No sad looks. At some point, she will go find him and he will have his power back.

I know you think if you do everything to make her happy, she will be a grateful and good, loving daughter, but not so. She will rule over you and all of you will be unhappy.

This is developmentally normal. What she's really saying is, "Daddy, I don't like you telling me what to do when I want to do something else." But she doesn't have the language ability at this point to differentiate. An easy way to address this would be for daddy to redirect her to "You must be feeling sad that you can't go do _________, but we have to go do ________ now. We'll come back and do what you want to do afterward."

This has nothing to do with her love for daddy and everything to do with wanting to get her way. Tell your husband not to be upset...she's just 3.

It's really not about liking or not liking her father. It's about having limited ability to control any situation and limited vocabulary to express how she's feeling. You might start off by having your husband do all the usual stuff like giving baths, washing hair, helping with dressing, reading stories, etc when he's home. By having him do everything in taking care of her they will bond more. He can also take her out when he does errands. The next thing is that when she says 'I don't like you' to him, he needs to be the one to step in and let her know that she's being unkind. He needs to know that she's not saying it because she dislikes him but rather she knows it'll get a reaction out of him.

My kids would always tell me 'I'm not going to be your friend' when I would tell them to stop doing something. It was the only hurtful words they knew.

Six months from now, it will be I don't like Mommy. It's a phase just about every kid goes thru.

While I know that some things can be unexpected and sometimes unexplainable, I swear that I'll never understand adults feeling insulted and offended by small children. My almost 3yo tells me "Mommy, I don't like you," and "Mommy, I love you," in almost the same breath. When he tells me that he doesn't like me, I don't change my expression. I ask him why--or "Are you feeling bad right now? What's the matter?"--to help him figure out for himself what's going on and to teach him to do that for himself later. I might even say, "Well, Mommy just loves you," and let it go.

Your daughter's parents are her home. This is where she feels safe, and this is where she can go through her whole catalog of feelings and express them one by one or all at the same time. Your job is to receive it and teach her how to deal with it. How you respond to her will help determine how she files those feelings away for the future.

Sometimes we can get so caught up in loving on them and oohing and aahing at everything that we lose sight of the fact that every experience is a teachable moment. Everything. Instead of feeling hurt or annoyed--since you or your husband likely has not mistreated her--just assume that she is feeling generally annoyed, and go from there. Assume that "I don't like you" is really "I don't like what you just did/I don't like what you're making me do/I don't like that my favorite toy broke, and you're the one who can hear me complain about it/I don't like that I'm so tired that I don't even know my name, and your taking my shoes off is getting on my nerves."