My 2-Year Old Won't Go to Sleep/stay to Sleep!

Updated on May 02, 2007
K.G. asks from Lewisville, TX
5 answers

I need help! My daugher just turned two a couple of weeks ago. Up until this time, she has been an angel to put to bed at night (she would take your hand and say "night night" and take you to her room, get in her crib, hit the pillow and sleep all night until we would wake her in the morning). Now, in the last several weeks, she screams when you put her down. When she finally goes to sleep, she wakes up around 2:00-3:00 where there's another round of 1 to 1.5 hours of screaming then just as soon as the house gets back to sleep...she up again around 4:30-5:30.

We have just started casually potty training and we thought that's what was waking her in the middle of the night. She would cry out "Mommy! Potty!" So to her room we go, put her on the potty and - nothing. She then wakes an hour later screaming with a poopy diaper. And if you don't get in there lickety-split, she's got her diaper off (no matter what's in it!) The crying out because of the potty makes sense to me - but I don't know what to do about the following 1 to 1.5 hours of crying after we try to put her back to bed.

I tried letting her cry it out (which is horrible because we've really never needed to do it before), but then when we've gone to check her, she's either taken off her diaper or is in a dirty diaper -- or is just plain ticked that we have put her back in bed. We have a really good night time routine (that we've done since she was a baby - snack/bath time/jammies/read books/rock/get in bed) and she's still content doing all of those things until we put her down to sleep. She eithers goes right to sleep like normal but then starts crying 15-20 minutes later - or she just melts down as soon as you put her down. She's actually getting hoarse from how hysterical she is crying.

I'm a light sleeper and every time she wakes I'm up for the entire time she's crying (no way I can go back to sleep) and then it's 1/2 hour to an hour later before I can go back to sleep and then it starts all over again as soon as I finally get to sleep. My husband travels a lot for business so I'm kind of going this alone (especially this week). I work full time with a hefty commute, but I'm falling over myself exhausted because of this. I'm getting about as much sleep as I did when I first brought her home!

WHAT DO I DO? Do I just let her cry? Do I put her on the potty every time she asks so I don't sabatoge the potty training? Do I check in on her every 10-15 minutes or does that prolong the crying fit? She's my first (and only so far) and I am clueless about what to do. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE!! I'm really feeling like a lousy Mommy right now because I don't know what to do.

(Sorry this is so long, but I'm tired and I'm rambling...)

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So What Happened?

Thanks for your responses! I talked with my pediatrician this morning since it was time for our 2-year appointment. The doc also mentioned teeth (my daughter is just starting to get her eye teeth) and she said to continue with the potty training during the day but to keep her in her diaper at night and to nix the night time potty runs and let her cry it out until she's back to her normal sleeping pattern. As I suspected, the doc thought it was probably good 0l' fashioned 2-year-old manipulation! She also suggested Motrin/Tylenol before bed until the teeth come in. The onesie is a great idea (have I just been too tired to think of that???!!!) Thanks again. I'll let you all know how the next few nights go.

More Answers

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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

I also have a just-turned-2-yr-old and we've been having sleep interruptions. The 2 yr molars are a killer. Both of mine went through heck with those (we're still going through it with my son). The root of your problem might be the molars, but the potty thing is compounding it. Advil at bed time helps a lot on the molars.

As far as potty training, I would simply STOP. I know you don't want to halt progress, but honestly her interest will not be consistent until closer to 2 1/2 and right now she will use it to her advantage. Also, it could be stressing her out and these sleep interruptions are the symptom of it. I went through this with my daughter (now age 4) -- 1) it stressed her out, AND she used the potty as a way to get control of a situation because she knew I would stop what I was doing and take her potty (and half the time she wouldn't go). All of these issues went away almost right on the day she turned 2 1/2. I have friends who say the same thing happened with their 2 yr olds. I know it sounds too manipulative, but now that she's 2, it's par for the course. And yes, the change can be that abrupt! One day, your sweet little pre-2-yr-old wakes up and wants the world to bend to her ever-screaming will! We entered this phase with my son a few weeks ago (he turned 2 in March) and we had also been casually potty training. As son as I noticed it happening I packed up all the potty stuff and put it in the garage and didn't mention it again.
Anyway, whether it's a stress or control issue, just stop potty training.
As far as the pooping at night, check her diet to see what might be causing her to have a BM then. Does she get juice in the afternoon or at dinner? Maybe have that earlier in the day. If she's having a BM in the middle of the night, she's either holding it until then because she knows you'll take her potty (honestly, this is possible!), or her cycle is a little off. (And, it's a sign that she's not quite ready for potty training).

Good luck!

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C.F.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K.,

A friend of mine with a two year old had a similiar problem in that he would get up every few hours, climb out of his crib and into their bed where he would toss and turn. She found a solution for them and if you'd like more info please message me, I'll be glad to share.

All the best,
C.

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A.

answers from Dallas on

Does she have her two-year molars yet? If not, they may be hurting her at night. My daughter had no issues teething, until she got her molars. Those really did her in. She was fine during the day, but she'd wake up at night.

You might see if you can feel part of a tooth way in the back, and maybe give her some Motrin or Tylenol before bed to see if it helps her. I'm not talking about drugging her up, but if she's in immense teething pain, it could take the edge off and help her sleep.

It took a few weeks for each of my daughter's molars to come in, but once they were in, she slept much better.

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J.A.

answers from Dallas on

When I tried to PT my dd, she held in her poop and started to go in the middle of the night too. Your lo may be holding it in and then getting mad in the middle of the night because it is waking her up. Have you thought about putting pull ups on her because she will have a harder time getting them off when she has gone to the bathroom? Just an idea.
Also, when my dd started to wake in the night and keep me hostage in her room all night, I started at nap time and bedtime to go through our routine and then tell her that I would come and check on her in 5 min. I would set a timer and go back to check over and over again until she was asleep. It took about 45 min the first day but she got better and understood that Mommy would come back to check but not stay in the room anymore. It has carried over to night time on it's own but the one time she woke up, I went in to make sure she was OK and then told her that it was night time and Mommy sleeps in Mommy's bed and that I will see her in the morning. Kissed her and left. SHe fussed for 5 min and then was quiet. Hope this helps, I know how frusterating it is to be a captive to your lo!! ANd to be sooooo tired!
J.

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S.D.

answers from Dallas on

I'm going to echo what the other poster said ... I'd stop potty training for now. If she JUST turned 2 ... some are ready, but it's often right at 2.5 ... but to have all these night time issues going on when she's never been like that before ... I'd stop and pick it back up a little later. As for taking her diapers off .. can you put her in a onsie so that she can't get to her diaper. Or, I know they also make jammies where the shirt snaps to the shorts. Maybe somethink like that so that she's not taking off her diaper.

As for the pooping in the night ... not sure how to solve that .. but to be freaking out soo much during the night mostly b/c of the potty ... yeah - I, personally don't think she's ready!

Anyway - that's just my opinion. Let us know how it goes! :-)

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