Sleeping Problems with 5Mo. Old/ How to Stop Co-sleeping!

I second the response from Jenna P. She should be sleeping through the night , she is hungry the rice cereal works great spoon feed her thin cereal do not put it in her bottle, or one of those feeding bottles. Spoon feedings are the best a thin consistency and thicken it alittle as she gets use to it. I have 3 children and I started them on cereal at 3 to 4 months at night and they slept much better.

Hi M.,
I know it's hard when you're not getting enough sleep! It just goes with the territory of having little ones. What worked for us with our boys (they are now almost 6 and almost 3) is to have them in the pack and play in our room, right next to my side of the bed. Sometimes they would sleep in bed with us at different points during the night but mostly they did better being in the same room with us but not necessarily in bed with us. We actually ended up putting our youngest back in the pack & play in our room around 11 months because he was having night terrors - another story. Anyway. Some kids need the comfort of knowing you're close by but don't do as well being as physically close. Or mom and dad don't do as well with baby in bed.

As for the cereal issue, starting solids too soon can lead to an increased risk for allergies and being overweight. Do some research before you go down that path. I started my kids on fruits and vegetables first anyway.

Pray you get some good rest soon - and don't forget to enjoy these baby moments! They go by so fast!

I know that it can be really difficult to not get enough sleep. Both of my daughters shared our bed. The first wasn't planned that way, so for the second I did plan it out and it worked much better. For my second daughter I didn't even try to put her in her own bed until she was a year. We all slept much better! I think she felt more secure knowing I was there and she didn't wake up as much to check on me (as had my first daughter). But, we did get to the point that we needed to separate during the night. For you this really might be that time.

To do this, we put a small futon mattress next to our bed on the floor. I put her to sleep there. When she woke up during the night I would roll down to the floor next to her and nurse. When she fell asleep, I would get back into my bed or sometimes I would fall asleep there with her. When she was 15 months I weened her at night. In our case, I had to sleep in another room for a couple nights. She would wake up and want to nurse, but I wasn't there. Her dad would have to pat her back to soothe her, then she would lay down and go back to sleep. Now at 18 months she is sleeping in a room with her sister - both make it through the night without me.

I hope this information helps you. I would just stress that taking a gradual approach and teaming up with your husband will help to move your baby from your bed to her own gently.

1. I wouldn't especially call this cosleeping - I measured my crib by the capacity of clothes that it held, because the baby sure never went in it. :)

2. 5 months old - they're learning what they can do, and I fondly remember the 3 - 5 am play time as "happy alert time". If you don't want to bring her in your bed, stay in her room and watch her. Take pictures - it is a fleeting time.

3. If you are SAHM - remember, Sleep when the baby sleeps. That adage is the whole reason your husband gets to say "go get the baby" instead of getting the baby himself, since you don't have to get up (or stay up) at a set time to go to an outside job - make no doubt about it, being the full time mother of a 5 month old infant is a JOB.

4. Maybe moving the crib in your room - next to your bed. That is where my children's bassinets were, until they moved into our (now king sized) bed. Mine transitioned out of our bed at around 2, although now 3 and 5 they still come patting down the hall way around 5 in the morning to 'snuggle'.

Good luck
S.

Ok, first of all let me encourage you - somebody once told me (and it is so much easier to see now that I'm on #2) that each phase will pass. Enjoy what you can about each phase but remember it isn't forever. Eventually you will be sleeping all night and so will she :-).

I totally understand you want your bed back - at that stage I wanted my bed back and my body back, too, but the rewards of nursing outweighed that. You have your daughter sleeping in her own bed much of the night so it's not like you are starting from scratch. We did much the same thing (she went down in her bed but after getting up ended up in ours) and frankly, as she dropped nightime feedings she stayed in her bed longer and longer. It worked itself out. Now at 22 months old she sleeps great in her own room and bed (she was doing this well before her first birthday, don't worry).

Anyway, I guess I'm saying don't worry too much about it. It will work itself out. As for the playing in bed - each child is different, but when she does it I would hold her and tell her "go back to sleep or you'll go to your own room". I know she's young and doesn't totally get it, but she'll start to. If she lays back down, great, but if she keeps playing then take her to her room. If she cries tell her "you can come back with me if you will sleep". You can bring her right back, but talk to her and tell her what's going on. I did that with mine (don't remember the exact age, but young) and pretty soon she understood the connection of playing and leaving mom's bed or sleeping and staying. You might have to hold her to get her to go back to sleep, or put her hand on her back (so much better than the screaming in my opinion).

Anyway, whatever happens,good luck. It WILL work itself out eventually. They don't graduate from high school still sleeping in mom and dad's bed!!

Do what you have to for sleep. If that means bringing her into your bed, then so be it. If that means a crib, then fine. But if you're both sleeping better together, why mess with it?

Also, 5 months is still really really young. She's got a lot of growth spurts ahead of her which means more night feeding. I found co-sleeping to be our answer. We didn't night wean until after a year either. I felt at that point, he was getting enough during the day to warrant it.

I felt guilty at first, until I talked to more moms -- including my ob who coslept with her 3rd. You do what you have to do. Cosleeping is not going to ruin her or anything like that. Trust me, she will eventually sleep on her own and in her own bed. Mine does. It may be a while though. Some people are lucky to have the kiddos who sleep 8 hours at a time, mine didn't do that until after his last molars came in at about 2 1/2. I have since learned, that that is not unique nor is it necessarily indicative of a sleep or behavioral problem. Every baby is different. My theory is, they're either great sleepers or great eaters -- seldom are they both.

Try and not be so hard on yourself. You've done nothing wrong. You've responded to your baby's needs which is what you need to do. I also recommend No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It's a really insightful book with a lot of data on babies and sleep. It helps to dispell some of the myths you'll hear along the way.

Good luck with your baby!

I feel your pain!!!! My first baby started sleeping through the night at 3 months. I thought I knew it all.. would tell everyone what I was doing right. With my second - she is now almost 7 months old. I did the exact same thing that I did with my first; and she JUST started sleeping through the night about a week ago. At her 6 month well visit with the pediatrician. He could see that I was completely exhausted. I asked him (even though i knew the answer) if my baby needed a bottle in the middle of the night. I had explained that she was still waking up 2x a night sometimes to be fed. He said, "no". She will not starve. Mind you she is a hefty thing weighing in at 20 lbs!! That evening she slept through the night and has continued to since. Part of the reason was b/c my husband and I heard her crying; however, I decided to just see how long she would do it. Anyway, we both fell back asleep accidently - we were sooo tired. The next time I got up was in the morning! Also, we started giving her cereal 3x a day along with formula and put her to bed at 7:30-8:00pm. Anyway, each child is sooo diferent as I have learned. I don't know what it was specifically that we did that caused her to start sleeping through the night since I had let her cry before and it didn't work. I do know that she wasn't much of a solid eater until around the time that she started sleeping through the night. And I know my younger took to solids much earlier That may have had something to do with it. I think it probably was a combination of things. If you have tried everything, you may just have a baby that is not ready to sleep through the night yet. I feel your pain!!!!!

sounds hungry and then wakes up-- check with her doctor-- she may need to have cereal to suppliment and hold her throught the night...

I have a 5 month old and just went through this. I was nursing and started introducing a bottle at night time. We did using Dr. Ferber's method and after 3 nights he started sleeping through the night. Then he got sick and so I didn't let him cry. Once he was better, I can now lay him down and pat him for just a minute or less and he will fall asleep without crying. He is sleeping 12 hours every night. I have a bedtime routine where we bathe him and give him a bottle and sing to him. Hope this helps.

I don't know your daily routine but if she takes a long nap in the morning or the afternoon YOU should go down too. Don't worry about house beautiful right now. That will come when she is in school. You need to rest when she does to keep up especially since you are an at home mom. Perhaps you need to start the cereal in the bowl and a little fruit to keep her tummy full at night. A midnight feeding is something some babies have and that is normal. But by now there should be a stretch of about 5 to 6 hours that the baby should sleep so that you can sleep and get rest. Write down what you do daily and see where you can change things to make it all work and everybody gets sleep. The other S.

Could you put her in a pack and play in your room, so she can see you, but not be in bed with you? Also, why is your husband sleeping and leaving all the work up to you? It is his child, too, and should take on some of the responsibility whether you work or stay home. This is just the beginning of nights with little sleep, so your hubby should get used to it! Good luck to you and whatever you choose to do, but don't let her cry it out. I think that is so cruel.

I highly recommend getting the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She offers some wonderful, sensible advice on finding a sleep solution that works for you and your family.

Don't feel pressured to move your child to a crib unless it's really what YOU want to do. For instance, if it's just what friends and neighbors think is right, disregard what they think and really think about what your own needs are. I think that every child is different and has their own needs. There isn't going to be a one-size-fit's-all solution. Also, in most society's in the world, having your baby next to you is expected, not frowned on like it (inexplicably) is in the US.

One of the most important things a baby learns at this age is that they can trust their parents to take care of them and to know that they are always there for them. This confidence and trust build security. Once they have that sense of security, they will be much more comfortable sleeping on their own.

And eventually, one way or another, you'll have your bed back. They aren't this little for very long. Enjoy this stage while it lasts.

I know there is controversy about the 'cry it out' method; however, my husband and I used this method with our now 16 month old when he was 4 months. It only took 3 nights for him to stop waking up and sleep through the night. By 5 months, she shouldn't need that many feedings, if any, during the night. I think the first night our son cried for over an hour. The second night was 45 minutes and the third night was 20 minutes. It is REALLY hard as a parent but it will save you a lot of sleepless nights in the future. Just tell your husband it is only a few nights.

I hope this helps!
R.

Feed her a few minutes before bed time with cereal. When she wakes up, check her diaper/give her a bottle and when she's finished... put her back in her bed. Keep her in her bed the whole time. Once this ritual is over, do not return to her room till it's time to get up. She'll learn. As long as she is clean/fed... you have nothing to worry about. Let her cry it out.

M.,

First off, I know it's hard to not just take the easy way out, especially in the middle of the night when all you want is to get some sleep. However, if you don't break the habit now, you will not get a good night of sleep ever again. Your daughter is 5 months old now and she does not need to nurse in the middle of the night anymore. I have a four month old daughter and a 3yr old son. I just finished training my daughter to go to sleep on her own and to not nurse in the middle of the night anymore.
Here is what I did. I started putting her in her crib and let her cry it out until she fell sleep (this is really hard to do, because no mother wants to hear her baby cry, but it works and it doesn't last very long). Then, when she woke up in the middle of the night, I would go to her and confort her by talking to her and telling her she needed to go night night, without picking her up from the crib. Obviously she cried and cried after I left the room, until she fell sleep again (that can last quite a few minutes or even an hour). My daughter only cried for 30 min at the most, whereas my son, cried for one hour and 15 min the first night we started training. She woke up 3 times the first night, and one time the next two nights. The first night she cried for 30 min and the other two she cried for 20 min or so. The 4th night she woke up but didn't cry. She stirred around in the crib and went back to sleep on her own. Now (one week later), sometimes she wakes up and goes back to sleep on her own or she doesn't wake up at all. She has been sleeping 9-10 hours at a time. As far as your husband goes, you can get him ear plugs (I used to wear those to sleep during the day after my night shift at the hospital (I am a nurse) and it worked pretty well. You can also tell him that he can tough it up for a week and have very good sleep for the rest of his life with no crying interruptions or he can get woken up every 3 hours, every night forever. I am sure he will choose to hear the baby cry for a few nights. Really it won't take more than a week to train your daughter and it will make a world of difference to all of you.

Hope this helps and good luck,
A. H.

I know this is hard, but you're right- you will have more to offer as mommy if you can start getting a little more sleep and it sounds like you're almost there! I think you should try. My best friend has an 18 month old who still co-sleeps & they haven't had a good nights rest in 18 months!
You've recieved some great ideas. Here's what worked for us. I completely agree with the cereal idea. She is most likely waking because she is hungry. My daughter is 8 months & has been in her crib since around 3 months, and slept really well originally. At 4 months she started waking up MAD several times in the night. Turns out she was starving! We started getting her up quietly before we went to bed & "sleep feeding" her a cereal/formula bottle and changing her diaper. We don't talk- we just feed her & hum to her if she's restless, but by not speaking she never fully wakes up. When we do this she usually sleeps til 6 am- sometimes longer. She will get used to her bed- hang in there & do what works for you & her! Good luck :)

My daughter is 5 months and we are going though the same thing right now. I had her for a few days sleeping in her crib from 7:30 until around 11:00 with one feeding between until she got sick. Now she's back in my bed all night again. It was nice for a few days to have some time to spend with my husband alone or just do something for myself. I'm not the sweetest mommy if I don't get my sleep so for me if nursing her in bed when she wants keeps her quiet so my husband and I can get good sleep so be it. I think it's best. Some people say don't do it because they will get used to sleeping with you. I only plan to nurse until she is 1 year old (sadly that's only 5 1/2 more months). Either she'll do it on her own or she'll be in our bed. I say if you and your husband can sleep with her in your bed go for it. They don't take up too much room and they are only babies for so long. :o) Good Luck!

We went through this with our daughter when she was about 3-4 months. Obviously make sure she's getting enough to eat during the day, but solid foods don't necessarily make your baby sleep better - that is a myth that is perpetuated by ignorance. She's probably waking up because it's a habit. Five months is old enough to sleep a lot longer, if not completely through the night. You might try putting her down earlier than 9p. We followed the advice in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby." I liked the book because it's written by someone who has done decades of research on sleep in children, and isn't trying to push a parenting style. The author does prefer using a CIO method once the baby is old enough, but also offers other suggestions for parents who aren't willing to do that. We started it when baby girl was 4 months, and by 5 months she went down at 6p and slept 'til 7a. Good Luck.

Hi M.,

I totally feel your pain! I have an almost 10 month old little girl that has given us the run around with sleep. We co-slept in the beginning, but ended up moving her to her crib by the time she was 2.5 months...she moved a lot and we all started getting less sleep. But, she did wake up throughout the night to eat for a long time. Even now, especially when she is teething, she will wake up. I want to encourage you that eventually, your daughter will sleep longer on her own without all of the extra stuff. You might need to try to feed her more during the day. I offer my daughter a bottle of breastmilk after I breastfeed her just to give her every opportunity to eat as much as she wants. This might be good for your last feeding. I do think that 9pm is kind of a late bedtime for 5 months. You might consider backing it up to as early as 6:30 or 7.
I don't agree that you should give your daughter cereal in the bottle--that is highly NOT recommended in a lot of circles now. I didn't start feeding my daughter food until she was over 6 months anyway because breastmilk really is best until then.
I like what Kimberly C suggested. Since we don't co-sleep now, her advice sounds pretty practical. However, if your daughter is anything like mine, mine was crawling by 5 months, so that added a huge number of complicating factors. She'd be off that futon in seconds.
I think right now your main issue is that you are tired and your daughter is having a 4am play time. Try to sleep during the day when your daughter sleeps. (I hope she naps! Mine takes many 30 minute naps, which doesn't afford me the time to nap very well.)
It would be great if your husband could help out too, but I know that might not be possible all the time. We had a run of nights where our daughter kept my husband and I up 2-3 hours trying to get her to go back to sleep. He finally put her in her crib and we turned the monitor down. Sometimes you just have to sleep.
Here is one thought that might help you, though it might not. When we wanted to transition our daughter out of our bed, we put her in the pack'n'play bassinet. However, after a few nights of me waking up with her next to/on me, which I did not remember doing (bringing her to bed to breastfeed), we decided that we should move her to her crib. (She was napping there already.) Falling asleep breastfeeding is great and in general, I think it works for co-sleepers, just not for us. Anyway, for a little while, my husband would bring my daughter to me, which kind of woke me up enough to be aware of what was going on. (I had a c-section, so I guess I had a longer recovery warranting his help.) Eventually, though, around 3.5 to 4 months, I started going to my daughter's room and feeding her in my glider. She usually would go right back to sleep, so I'd put her in her crib and go back to bed. Staying in her room was key for keeping her sleepy and not adding any extra stimuli. Maybe you could try that?
I should note that even now, my daughter will only go to bed if we put her down fully asleep. It sucks, but that's the way it is for now. If you're not putting your daughter back in her crib fully asleep, you might try doing that. I know that sometimes babies just know when you put them down and even though you think she's asleep, she will pop right up and be crying before you can turn around. But, if you wait long enough for the deeper sleep to come, it's usually more fail-safe.
I don't really have any answers, and I guess I just want you to know that eventually some things will work themselves out. Explain to your husband how you're feeling and maybe he can take some of the responsibility for putting your daughter back down (like, if she doesn't need to eat). Don't worry about feeding her in the middle of the night. If it bothers you that much, than try a bottle of formula. I wouldn't do it with my daughter, so I just suffered through the night. :-) But my cousin chose to go the route with the bottle, and her son started sleeping long stretches very, very early. I guess it just depends on where you're at on those issues.
Oh...and the playing at 4am will pass. I've heard that when babies start learning new things they just get obsessed with them. My daughter was crawling around her crib long before we saw her do it, I'm sure!
I'm a first time 31 year old mom...so if you need to talk or live in the mid-cities area and want meet up, send me a message.

My kids slept in a bassinet/cradle next to my bed for the first 8 months - it was wonderful....when my son, first child, would get restless, I just put my hand on him and he quieted....sometimes babies just want company....all naps were in the crib and when I moved him all was fine....when he cried, I went in and put my hand on him....I was not one for letting my babies cry their hearts out (they are now almost 16 and 17)....they can also pick up on your frustration and anger so just pull a chair up to the crib and lay your hand on her.....babies cry because they are hungry, need a diaper change, are in pain or want company...all valid to me....good luck and nap during the day when she does so you get some rest.....

I know it sounds harsh, but I recommend getting Dr. Ferber's book and reading it. Some people call it the "crying" method, but if you read the book, it will all make sense and you are really doing your child a favor. And it only takes 2 weeks (at the most) for your child to adjust. I had a similar situation with my first child. He was 8 months old when I finally gave in and read the book. My husband and I were both desperate so we did it (but I did have a big talk with my husband and had to get him on board. Knowing it was only 2 weeks helped and it actually took less time.) Funny thing was, when our second child was 5 months old, it was my husband who said "let's do it now" and started using the Ferber method. So buy the book, read it, and devote 2 weeks. It really is worth it.

I have a sleep program that worked for me. Send me an e-mail ____@____.com and I'll send it to you.

Hi, M.-
I just wanted to encourage you. As some other mommies said, this time is so fleeting. I know it doesn't seem so when you are sleep deprived. My son totally co-slept with me until he was about 10 months. At that point, I was ready to let him "cry it out," but it was a painful process. Several people told me to try cereal around 3-4 months, but I wasn't ready for that...waited until 6 months- and he still didn't sleep through the night. He just wasn't a sleeper. Every baby is different. Just try to enjoy this time, it'll be over before you know it.

M.,

Not only are you going to have the problem of your daughter sleeping with you, you will also have the problem of her learned behavior of crying to get what she wants. Babies are very smart. She has already learned that if she cries, you bring her back to your bed.

I have a couple of suggestions. You are welcome to try them or ignore them. They are worth the price you are paying.... :)

1. If she's still waking up in the night, it's time to give her cereal before she goes to bed. She is waking up because she's hungry. If she is in bed by 9pm, you need to give her rice cereal at about 8:30pm. Then give her a bottle/breast to top things off. Her tummy will be nice and full, and she will sleep. My daughter was a breast baby, and I didn't start her on cereal until she was 3 months old. (I didn't live near my mom, and didn't have anyone who offered advice.) She was up every 2-3 hours at night. When I gave her cereal for the first time, she slept 11 hours! She was just hungry. She slept through the night from then on. With my sons, I started them on cereal at 4-6 weeks, and we didn't have the multiple nightly feedings. I was much more rested!

2. Your daughter needs to know that her bed is her bed. You will probably have to wait until a weekend to start this, so your husband can get his sleep. But you need to firmly put her in bed and leave her there. When she cries, tend to her needs (diaper, feeding, etc) then put her back in bed. She won't cry all night. It may just seem like she's crying for a long time, because you have to listen to it. Do you have another room in the house where your husband might be able to sleep for a few nights while you break this habit? It will take a bit of sacrifice from both of you.

Good luck.

I have a baby about the same age with similar issues. I just read through "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and there are a lot of really great tips for how to help your little one sleep better, longer, and in their own bed. I am just starting to implement some of the ideas, but I already see some changes. I would highly recommend the book!

one, the man needs to do some helping out! my hubby and i took shifts so we'd each get 4 hours of sleep more or less. even if you are breastfeeding, you can express a bottle for him to feed her at 2 am so you can sleep. second, feed her some cereal about lunch time, but no later. if you feed it later and there are gas issues, you'll be up all night with a gassy baby. i don't suggest the cereal in the bottle routine unless your peditrician clears it first. most of all, hang in there. we were sleep deprived for 9 months of the first year before he finally slept in his crib with no issues. he was a year before we moved him into another room. reclaiming your bed/bedroom is a beautiful thing!