Potty at Bedtime

I have not potty trained my son yet. I have read and heard from other people that a schedule might work. We tried it for teeth brushing and seems to work. If you have a schedule for bedtime, such as dinner, bath, story, then night time, maybe try putting the potty time in right before you head into the room for the night. So, bath time, teeth, PJ's, potty then story. That way you would know her bladder is empty and she might not want to use it again. It might take a while, but she might get into the system and use it then. I found that when my son would fight me on teeth brushing, once he realized it was part of the system, he did great. Hope this helps.

Have you tried tucking her "potty toy" into bed for the night? if she's concerned for her toy she might not want to pay for so long so that her potty toy won't be too tired to go potty with her the next time she has to go. just an idea. good luck.

I agree with Angela. My kids are manipulators! When they have to sit on time out, they suddenly have to pee or they're going to "pee their pants". It's incredible how smart they are at such a young age! Just get your routine done 15 mins early in anticipation that she will have her potty time. Don't be too hard on her or she may not progress. Give her the time she needs, but if you feel she needs a time limit, don't be afraid to let her know that she had plenty of time to go. Good luck!

Gosh, that could be us! We have a 2.5 year old girl who uses the have-to-potty thing to stall bedtime right as we are ready to turn the lights out. Except we aren't really doing the night training since she is still waking up with a wet diaper. Anyhow we just let her go (what's 15 minutes really?). I don't ask her if she's done and I don't go in there. Once there's no interaction she gets bored and comes out saying she's done. If the 15 minutes or whatever is a big deal in your situation, maybe you could just finish the bedtime routine 15 minutes early in anticipation of this **new** bedtime routine?

If she's asking right after you leave the room or everytime you get her back to bed I would tell her that part of the bedtime routine is to use the potty before she goes to bed and make it the last thing she does before you sing/rock/put her to bed.

If she's doing it in the middle of the night, I would just make it possible for her to go to the bathroom without your assistance. Make a safe path from her room to the bathroom, have a step stool set up by the potty and her seat set up. I know a 2.5 yr old who goes all by her self when she wakes at night and then goes back to bed when she's done. My daughter, however, is not ready for this yet. Incidentally, my daughter also did alot better using the potty by day when I stopped asking her if she needed to go all the time and just set up the bathroom so she can do it by herself.

Good luck and let me know what works. ;-)

We have this issue too. I eventually got an egg timer and set it for 5 minutes. That way, if my kids have to go potty, they have five minutes to do so and if they don't, they still have a clear line of when it's time to get off the potty and go to bed. It works wonderfully and we no longer have any potty bedtime/naptime struggles. Good Luck!

Beka

I had to laugh at this as I have lived through the same drama and believe me, it really isn't funny if you are part of the act. Set a timer. When it dings, tell your little princess that she is done for now and put her back in bed. Tell her that if she cannot go "potty" in the time you alot it must have been a false alarm. Just remember: Smart Cookies tend to crumble when they are "found out", so expect some waterworks from the little one. She is good, you have to admit, so you'll just have to work with what you have. Every parent hopes they have a clever child...you got double.
Good Luck,
J. S

Have you tried to start your good night routine 1/2 hr earlier and adding sitting on the toilet before going into bed. Then she could sit there as long as she wanted and her bedtime would be the same. I wouldn't think she would sit there for more than 1/2 hr. I would tell her in advance that this is what is going to happen and explain once she is in bed there is no getting up.
Also Do you read a story before bedtime? You can tell her once she is finished on the toilet you will be ready to read a story. What ever you decide then stick to it for at least a week and see what happens. Good luck.

My 2 year old daughter does the same thing. I made potty time the last part of our bed time routine. I tell her it is her last chance to go until she wakes up and if she tries to get out of bed I tell her she already went and again that she can't go until she wakes up.
If she tries to stretch out her last potty time I tell her that her potty books aren't for night time, I try to put them up ahead of time.
I figured if she had an accident it would be my fault and I would learn my lesson but she hasn't had one from my cutting short her potty time yet. Sometimesn she argues but it usually works all right.

I agree with Angela and Kim. Without interaction she will get bored and stop taking so long. I'd add however that it's possible she's not finished. Both of my grandchildren almost always end up pooping 10 minutes or so after I think that they should be done.

And potty time occurs before getting into bed, reading a story, or good night hugs and kisses. Potty time is part of the routine they complete before they get in bed. Once in awhile they do need to poop after having settled in bed. When I'm there I go into the bathroom with them and see the poop when they're finished.

Yes, potty time can be manipulation. In fact I suspect it is most often but sometimes their request is legitimate. The tricky part is knowing when it's needed and when it's a way to stay up longer. Knowing that is not so much of a problem if going potty is handled in a more less impersonal way and there is nothing to entertain them while they're on the toilet. The potty toy could go away at bedtime.

I think the secret to stopping this is to treat the request casually and to remain out of the situation. She can go potty for as long as she wants but there is no "entertainment" including parental involvement to keep her involved.

If she has a child's potty chair, put it in her room on the floor with plastic and newspaper under it. When she has to potty, get her up then put her on pottychair with only a night light on in her room and no potty toy. Tell her it is bed time so, she needs to go potty then get back in bed. Then she will realize potty time is not play time but time to go potty then get to sleep. Make sure to continue to praise her on going potty in the potty chair.
If she doesn't have a potty chair and uses a toliet ring then get her up and put on potty with only night light and still no potty toy since it is same as before, tell her go potty then back to bed. Let her know that she can only have potty toy when she is going during day if she goes at night with out a fuss or playing around.
I hope this helps, it worked with my granddaughter when her mother and I were potty training her.

We have a three 1/2 yr. old daughter, and a five month old son. Having gone through this, and as it appears, everyone else :) I would say, personally, don't rush it. Make the potty time at the end of the "bed time ritual". Use pull ups or diapers (they're cheaper) until she consistantly wakes up "dry". I'm an RN and see this often.

Children's bladder muscles aren't quite yet developed for night-time control at this age. Most four year olds are finally ready for night-time control, and the brain mechanisms that wake them when they need to use the restroom.

Don't get too frustrated (as I've even had to convince my husband :) In all due time, as day-time training was accomplished, so will night-time. Just night-time takes a bit longer.

Hope this helps! And happy "training" :) Sounds like you're doing a great job!

You must have fell for it one night and she saw how it worked.. this is her ploy to stay up and get your attention. Make going to the bathroom part of your routine for getting ready for bed. Don't let her drink anything for 1/2 an hour to 45 minutes before bed. Maybe a small sip. Then when she says "yoo-hoo" I have to go potty, you say "NO, you just went." Let her pee in her diaper and come to you with it wet to put on a new one, then she'll know you mean business and not to fool around with you anymore unless she really has to go. She'll get it eventually.

yep timers and two to three years olds, great!

Hi L.!
I like to use redirection and usually introduce a new routine! (at least these techniques usually work with my two little ones). First, if you incorporate potty time a little earlier (but still before bed time) - maybe 15-20 mins. before you want her to go down. Let her sit, have her potty time and play a bit - then ask her if she would like you to read a book to her before bed. Make it a short one that she likes, or get a new short one that she hasn't seen before. My kids are usually interested immediately, they wrap up what they are doing and we transition into bedtime a lot easier... now it is a new part of the bedtime routine and they don't even notice that you've "lured" them away! -Good Luck!!!

Hello,
I was reading your post, and I had to laugh. Not because I am an uncaring or sadistic person but because it sounds exactly like my daughter and I thought my daughter (who is also 2 1/2) was the only one who did this. Sometimes it can take my girl 20 min.... well she's never done it that long for me but she likes to take advantage of her grandma who will let her sit there as long as she wants if it's before a nap or bedtime. I know it is a game for her because the only time she does it is before she's supposed to go to bed. So here is how I handle it, and it seems to be getting better. If she is playing and not making an honest effort to go potty, and if it's been a considerable amount of time, I will give her a warning and tell her she needs to get off the potty soon. I get the same response as you get, "i'm not done yet" or "i have more poopoos". And I tell her no matter what in 1 minute she has to be done. When the time is up I take her off the potty and send her to bed. At first she would cry and throw a fit, but I insisted. Since she has realized that crying and screaming doesn't accomplish what she wants that reaction has started to taper off. I sincerely hope this problem gets solved for you. I totally understand how frustrating it is, and knowing that they are doing it simply to manipulate us is incredibley frustrating. Good luck.

A.

I would try using a timer. We used a timer with our daughter,and it worked. We would set it for 20 minutes and she would sit and read books and sing. When the timer went off, she would wipe and be done.
Good luck.