I've never been great with dealing with hormonal in-fluctuations, so during pregnancy, it's easy to see how I would enter a somewhat negative space. In fact, this was one of my major reasons for not wanting another baby. My almost 3 year old has been getting me up a lot at night --big developmental leap is going on. I'm exhausted. I go to bed early, around 9-9:30, and try to stay in bed till 6, but I usually am woken up 2x a night, once by my son, and once when hubby comes to bed. Many nights I climb out of bed for the day around 4, because I just cannot go back to sleep with all the interruptions. (Hubby sometimes comes to bed as late at 3).
This morning I snapped at hubby and told him to get up with our son. It ended up resulting in a fight. We rarely fight, but when I am pregnant or when a newborn is in the house, we are both on edge and we do end up with some nasty flare ups.
My question is, how do I control my moodiness better? I think hubby gets sick of my short temper, and I don't blame him. Some days I'm just on edge, super anxious, and just not the most pleasant person to be around. And then I have days where I just cry. Hubby can't stand seeing me cry, but when the tears flow, there isn't much I can do --it's like a giant hormonal build up that just needs to come out. In my single life, I would rent a girlie movie and let it all out, but in my current life, I rarely watch movies by myself. And when hubby is away on business, it's a rare occurrence that I can get the 4.5 year old to go to bed before 9. She hates it when he is gone, and I am usually so exhausted by the time the kids are asleep, I just go to bed myself.
Hubby and I did better with the fighting with our second child. I know we will do even better with this third, but right now things seem kind of bleak. He brought up the equitable issue this morning (i.e. how there is nothing equitable about our relationship), and when he does that, I know things are bad. He knows how much I hate it when he mentions my lack of income contribution to our relationship (though, I have to say, I am a wiz with financially planning, and without me, he wouldn't even have half of what he has in his retirement account.).
In any case, tips for handling the sleepless nights and moodiness, and managing hubby better? Part of the issue is hubby is grumpy too right now, but I can't control that, all I can control is how I respond. We need a date night, but he keeps traveling for work and leaving on the weekend! So I keep having to cancel sleepovers at my mother's house.
Just want to add: I went back and forth for 2 years about whether to have a third baby. This baby is a BLESSING. She is wanted more than anything in the world, by both hubby and I. And our other kids are thrilled about her too! She is very much wanted! One of my concerns about getting pregnant again was the lack of sleep and it's toil on my mood.
You need some sleep.
Stop canceling sleep overs at your mother's house.
The kids can enjoy Grandma and you can sleep uninterrupted for 8 or more hours while Hubby is traveling for work.
Drop the kids off, come home, have some soup (or other comfort food), take a long relaxing bath, then go to bed and sleep sleep SLEEP!
Having had more rest - you will not be as moody when he is home.
For this one, you have to use your rational mind, rather than your hormonal mind.
You KNOW when you're in a mood. Especially since you're typing us telling us about it.
So CHOOSE not to take it out on your husband.
I know that's easier said than done when in the heat of it, but you have to make the choice to be rational and fight the rollercoaster.
If you need to cry, go do it in the bathroom. If you need to scream, go calm down in another room. etc...
You're conscious of what's happening with moods and hormones. CHOOSE not to let it run your life.
I think the way to combat the moodiness is to get better quality sleep. Interrupted sleep is not the same. That was the hardest part for me when my kids were young and newborns.
I was always someone that needed me sleep so being woke up to nurse all night long was torture. Fortunately my husband cut me some slack. He has always said that my job is infinitely harder than his, even though I'm not so sure about that anymore since my kids are a little older!
It sounds like you two need to have a discussion about his feelings of inequity in your relationship. While you may not be contributing financially, you're contributing far more in a non-monetary way that he is giving you credit for right now. He obviously realizes the importance of you being home or else you wouldn't be home right now. Now he needs to look at his children and see the benefit and change his perception that there is an inequity.
Hang in there.
Sounds to me, like you need more sleep. I know, easier said, than done.
Purple Mom- where in her post , did she admit to not wanting the child?
Could some of your moodiness be from the fact you just admitted you don't even want this child?
