Mom's Separation Anxiety

It is important that you recognize what is going on here. Many times parents in your situation will not acknowledge that what is going on is really for their own benefit. Your son probably does sense something between your and your spouse. I am sure you have thought long and hard about the implications of your current situation on your son.

Like the PP, if your son starts in his room, it is better than him starting out with you. You may just slowly start working towards helping him back to bed.

And IMO, unless your spouse is willing to get up with him during the night, he has NO say in how you deal with this. It gets my goat when a spouse, who has the luxury of sleeping through the night and never gets up to tend to a child, has the nerve to voice their opinion on how you are dealing with it. If he doesn't like how you're doing it, he can do it himself. He will see very quickly that sometimes, you just do whatever gets you a little more sleep.

I think you are doing fine. I have a 5 year old that has gone through sleeping on her own and sleeping with me.
Children are very smart and can sense when things aren't "right" with the adults around them. He can probably sense something is up between you and dad, and it comforts him to be with you as much as it comforts you to be with him.
My daughter slept with me and on her own as she needed. Now, we have a schedule where she sleeps in her bed all night and she comes in to snuggle me in the morning. Every morning unless she has spent the night at a friend's house. There are nights that we still spend together, but it is a treat for us both.
Keep the emotional bond strong between you and your child. It will help you both through this difficult time, and in the end it will make him even more independent. I love my girl so much. It is just the 2 of us, but she is very confident and independent (sometimes too much! lol). The reason is that she is confident and secure in her knowledge that she is loved. Him sleeping with you will just help reinforce that right now for him while things are unsettled in your home.
I think you are doing fine, and yes it helps you. That's ok. The better you feel, the better a mom you can be.
I hope that makes sense.

Dear R.,

Enjoy it while it lasts and try to stop feeling torn about it! This behavior is in the realm of normal and as long as it works for you and your son, then allow it to continue.

My son recently turned 4 and does the same thing. The couple mornings recently when he was so tired he never got up I missed him! Luckily my husband is supportive and although he can be grumpy about a wriggling boy at 6 or 7 am, he knows that co-sleeping is part of raising a healthy, well-attached child.

I suggest trying to separate this issue out from what is going on with your marriage. To me, it's a no-brainer. Eventually your child will want more space or sleep more soundly. It's like weaning, at some point, one of you will want more space and privacy and when that time comes, you'll work out a gentle way to "wean" him off the behavior, or he'll wean himself!

Trust your child to know what he needs. And trust yourself to respond naturally.

All best to you! Hugs for being a great mom!

I hate to say it, but I do think that you are doing this more for you, and could make it harder as he gets older.

I'm not a co-sleeper, but my daughter woke up teething the other night. I fed her and let her stay with me the last hour before the alarm went off. I loved it! But, I know that her being able to sleep on her own and self soothe is so important, so back to her own bed she went last night.

I'm sure that your son is feeling the estrangement between you and your husband. Make sure that you are talking to him about this, and if needed, maybe a night here or there with you sleeping on the floor of his room would be okay to help the transition back to his own bed.

If he is coming in in the middle of the night as opposed to starting off with you I don't have a problem with it. My son still comes in every morning-very early-like 4 or 5-and I don't mind at all. I think it is comforting to him and it is to me too. I can't explain it-maybe I feel like I am truly able to protect him just then-as opposed to during the day as he is out and about living his life. It won't be forever-there will surely come a day when he stops coming. Until then-I will let him.

It sounds like you have lots of other things to stress about right now...don't let this be one of them! You are not going to ruin him for life...he sounds very well adjusted and IMO how/why/when/where a child sleeps has very little to do with gaining/lossing independence. I've cycled thru cosleeping and nursing - CIO - getting up every 2 hrs to put them back in bed, etc with my 2. What worked well for everyone 6 months ago isn't the same as right now or 6 months before that! As they grow, their needs change. Yes, you are getting some benefit from this arrangement but it doesn't sound like you are sacrificing your child's benefit (long or short term) for your's. As others mentioned, he is falling asleep on his own with no issues...don't worry about it!

I don't see a problem with it. If he doesn't make a smooth transition on his own to staying in bed somewhere down the line, maybe you'll be in a better place to help him make that transition than where you are now. He sounds like he is getting a long great, and if climbing in to bed with you for a few hours helps you both, I think it's great. Sometimes we need our kids even more than they need us, and if this is one of those times that you need him, he is obviously happy to oblige :) Good luck!

I'm a co-sleeping advocate! So I say don't stop.

I've co-slept with my four year old son since the day he was born. It's for both of our benefits...he feels safe and secure and in turn sleeps soundly...and I feel wonderful having him next to me in bed thus I sleep soundly. It benefits the both of us...and it sounds like it does the same for you and your son.

Continue the co-sleeping and enjoy every minute of it! Kids grow so fast...cherish the time when they're small.

http://www.PenPointEditorial.com