Mom in Need of Friends

There are support groups for parents who have lost a child that may help with what you're dealing with. Also you might consider joining Parents wothout Partners to talk to other single parents. Good luck and i wish you the best.

Where do you live? I would love to chat with you, I don't have a lot of time to respond right now because I have to take my girls to school and run some errands, but if you want to email me, PLEASE do... I'm a good sounding board and although advice may or may not be what you need, I may have a word or two. Hope you're having a good day.

P.S... I'm Karen, mom of 4 also!

You are brave and all the feelings you are going through are normal. Things will get better. Just remember he will always be looking down upon you as your own angel. Everyone is there for you in prayer, your heart will heal.

Oh my your plate is definitely full. While I dont have any advise persay I will pray for you. Have you thought of seeing a greif counselor? My mom had 2 sisters murdered about 4 years ago and it was really hard for her then she gave in a saw a greif counselor and it helped alot Good luck

Wos....I personally don't know what you're going through but I truly understand and as a mom I send my deepest condolences to you and your family. Each person experiences his or her own unique journey following a loss. I could imagine in your Journey you will learn how to to cope with what may be a vast array of intense, painful and at times conflicting emotions. Most important I belive you'll learn how to weather the storms that come your way, without losing courage or hope, realizing that in time you will overcome them.

Desrest M.,
You are not crazy. it is a normal thing when yu have lost someone, especially a child. it is easier to shut off all feelings than to deal with the loss. We lost our first child to SIDS. It almost ruined our marriege. Losing a child is the most devistating thing any mother can go thru.
It takes time to heal, the best advise i can give you is to talk it out with him. Let him know how you feel. am sending you a private mess.My heart and prayers are with you.

I feel for your situation... I can never imagine loosing a child... but you have to move on you have other children that need you... as far as your relationship is concerned the only thing that I can say is that maybe you need to get some help go see a councelor... maybe they can help you sort through your feelings.

Hello M.!

I think the world of you and have never even met you.I took care of people with diabilities for 8+ years. It was hard on my heart when I lost my favorite. He had only spoke 5 words in his first 54 years of life. His mother came to me and thanked me because I was his 6th before he had passed. It was three more losses after then I realized I too was scared of losing the ones I was closest to and started pushing them away. My husband and my children. It was so hard. I had talked to people just as you are when I was given the advise to endure the ones I have with me. I changed my mind thinking that I could lose the ones I have here tomorrow and out of fear have not been fully enjoying them while I had the chance. It made me feel even more sad to think I could miss out on all they had yet to offer me. I feel lucky to have the poeple in my life that are with me and all my guardian angels surrounding me. Hang in there and you will see that even though the ones we have lost are not here to hug, to hold, to hear, they are always with you. Think of them the next time something really wonderful happens to you and thank them. It worked for me, maybe it can work for you too. Time is really the key. I hope I get the oportunity to talk with you soon.

it seems to me like you really are normal - to have gone through all that - love WOULD seem scary. The most important thing to remember is that thr worst thing you can do is to pull away from those who are closest to you -and able to understand you in ways that no one else can. Your boyfriend is a special man to be with you and stick with you through all this. If you push him away, you risk losing the one person who has seen you in so many circumstances. Being alone is so much harder than being vulnerable -though it seems like it's easier sometimes. We all need someone in our corner.
blessings
libby

My sister passed away a few years ago. My mom was heart was in ruins and actually found that going to see someone to talk about it helped her and she joined a group for mothers who has lost children, it made her feel like she wasn't alone. I can't imagine the pain you feel. But you feel worse if you push people away. I did that to my husband when I lost my sister and we almost split. I finally just had to accept that she was gone and try to make positive out of negative. I hope that this somehow helps. Take care of you.

You are a courageous woman to reach out for help. In our pain, we tend to alienate those we love most, when what we need the most is to be close to them! I used to believe that I had to be strong for my family-to be the emotional fortress holding things together. Now I understand that holding things together isn't what strength is all about. Strength is about engaging my hurt and starting on a journey toward healing by sharing my feelings, seeking out counsel and friendship, nurturing the relationships in my family, and believing in the hope that my season of suffering will not last forever. I have never lost a child or my spouse, but I do understand the deep ache of loss. I am glad to correspond with you if you desire to.

I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your child- I cannot imagine the pain you must be going through. You are obviously going through depression, which is totally understandable given your circumstances...but, your children really need you also. I understand its hard to be the one everyone looks to for the answers, but it comes with the territory. I dont know what your financal situation is, but you might qualify for help from the state, in which case, you can find a therapist- that is what I did, and it always helps to have someone who can be objective and unbiased in opinion to talk to, to help sort out your feelings. You deserve that. And your kids do too.

Hi M.,
My name is Tessa 33 yrs old and a mother of a 12 yrs old i know exactly how you feel.My husband passed away 4 yrs ago with cancer. I found myself lost and alone. Then i realize that i have a son to take care of and he needs me more than anything.
Don't seperate yourself from others but instead live your life to the fullest coz you never knew what gonna happen the next day. Cherish all the wonderful memories that you have and you will find more peace and happiness.

I cannot imagine going through what you have. I don't think a lot of women would. Have you thought of speaking to professional? For advice at least. As for some one just to listen, a kind and sympathetic ear- I'm available.

My name is A. and I am 24. I have a wonderful 2 yr old daughter, Kendall. I go to school full time at American River College and am not currently employed. I have knitted on a very armature level. I am an orphan, except for my daughter's father's family- so I know what it feels like to need to talk to someone and not really have anyone avail.

First off, I'm praying for you and for things to get easier! I have to agree with the previous posts, a grief counselor will definitely help. I gave a child up for adoption almost 4 years ago and the sense of loss was almost overwhelming. I sought out a counselor afterward and it was great to be able to talk about my feelings. She also helped me deal with issues from my past, so sometimes the counselor can help you all around. But withdrawing exacerbates problems. Surround yourself with loved ones, and going to a group for parents who have lost children is a great idea! If you want an ear, go ahead and email me! ____@____.com

Sorry to hear about your loss...this is and will be a very hard phase in your life. It will take time for you to heal and if he is understanding, he will know that you mean no harm by this. You must not seperate from him too much tho, because you are right, he may distant himself from you. Even tho you are going through a very sad time in your life, he is your companion and instead of distancing yourself, look for him, talk to him and tell him how you feel, if this is the kind of relationship you have. If you have family, relatives, friends, ask them to sit the kids, and make a weekend for yourselves to a nice spa hotel, or a simple romantic weekend at home. Talking is always the best thing for your heart. I cant imagine your pain and just the thought gives me chills....if he has been there for you with your kids, he will be through this one, but just open up to him. If you need to cry, do it, if you need to scream, do it...alone or with him listening to you....tell him your pain, share it with him. Tell him you need him and to understand you, that you love him, need him but are hurting and just need time to heal.

Good luck and again, sorry for your loss. I will pray for you. Pleas email me if you would like to chat.....I am always open to new friends...to listen to you or to make you laugh.

I am so sorry for your losses, M. - I can't imagine the pain you must be in. I agree - some counseling might help, not only with your grief, but with your relationship with your boyfriend. Do you get any "me" time at all?

M., I am truely sorry for your loss, and our prayers are with your family!

I have a question for you, if you could PLEASE email me @ ____@____.com

It is regarding an infection in the bowels. My daughter is 4 years old, and she is always complaining of a stomach ache, daily. So I always tell her to go potty. She eats all the time, so I figured she is just plugged up and needs to go.
I would like to ask a few questions, if you are up to it. please email me. (We have NO insurance, which is why I havent taken her to the Dr yet)

email me ____@____.com I would love to make new friends, I am a single mother of 5, ages 18, 13, 9, 7, and 2. My children are all special needs and I have a very good handle on grief and grieving, I lost my first husband in 2000 and have been in a great loving relationship for the past 4 years, but I have very few women friends.

i love to crochet and do crafty things. i also love to read.

happy days

R.

Hello M., I am so sorry for your loss.have you maybe thought of trying to go to counseling? I think it would help you alot find someone who does counseling that helps with loss of a family members,and I am sure they can also help with your loved one.then maybe both of you could go together.I feel that you are still grieving and you need to find a way to get through it sometimes it helps a lot to talk to someone.have you heard of hospice? they help even when a loved one has passed on. you could check your local hospital they sometimes hold classes for different reasons I am sure they would have one for losing a child. then you would also get the comfort and support from other family's who also lossed a child.I wish you all the luck and if you would like someone to talk to you can e-mail ____@____.com I have not lost a child but I am a good listener.

It is common to feel like you are losing him and everything since you lost a child. I would suggest you get back into your routine of daily living without the child in the picture. He obviously loves you to stay around and is feeling the greif with you. IF you feel you need a hug go to him and get one. Ask him some questions on how he is feeling about all this. Try and reconnect because being by yourself in this won't work much longer and he will leave, maybe. Give it a try and see what will happen. Talking is the best way to get back in touch with a loved one when you feel you are pulling away. More likely you are going through the steps of greiving.