My three year old son has a mind of his own. He is a very strong will little boy. Here is the problem. He acts out at school, Sometimes he bites, Kicks, throws fits, tell his classmates and the teachers to shut up! He sometimes does not want to share with his friends. He plays sometimes with them but, when he is not in the mood these are the things that he does. He is pretty much being labeled a bully at this point. We express to him how much we love him, and when he has a good day we praise him.,and reward him. We have tried timeout,spankings and nothing works. He is a very smart little boy just very stubborn and wants things to go his way. Any Suggestions will be appreciated!
I highly recommend getting the book, 'Boundaries for Children'. You will get some really good info. that lays a foundation for great success which the problems you guys are having. Take Care, K.
First of all who labeled your son as a "bully"? Start ther first. Labels for young active boys are not a good idea. Now on to your little man...What he is doing in school is acting out. For whatever reason he is seeking the attention of either the teacher or fellow students. Do you know if the other kids interact with him? Is he left alone to play by hisself? Does he do positive things to get the teachers attention only to be ignored? Is he bored and not learning at his rate? Answer these questions and you will find out why your son is doing what he is doing in school. REMEMBER, HE IS 3 AND A BOY....
If he's acting out that badly I think he probably needs consistent descipline you need to decide how to descipline him best and stick with it instead of giving up and trying another way that's what I had to do with my youngest son when he acts out although he's not mean to other kids he would talk back and throw horrible fits when he didn't get his way. Good luck
Hi G. -
When you have tried everything you know in dealing with anything and nothing is working out the way you planned, it might be time to seek the help of a professional.
First off don't blame yourself or think you are a "bad" parent because your 3 year old is acting out.
Relax and know this too shall pass and you and your family will be stronger for it as long you don't give up!
Staying consistent is the best advice out there.
Even though you feel that he very stubborn you just have to be even more so.
If every time he acts out he receives the same consequence eventually he will figure out that you are not giving up and he will.
If you are doing time out make sure you are not leaving him in so long that he forgets what he in there for.
Try not to be emotional about it, speak to him in calm matter of fact tones.
If he isn't already, try to get him into some activity that can use up some of that energy and an another opportunity for socialization.
At 3 there is a lot he can integrate, so I would sit him down and tell him that it is a new day and some new rules are going to be put in place to will help him and everyone in the family feel better.
Ask him what he can do to help, when he realizes that his opinions are important it may help.
You may already be doing all of these things so don't give up and seek the advice of a family counselor that deals in children issues.
We sought counseling because my daughter was acting out and in the end we were all helped by the sessions!
Who else is your son around beside you, his family, and the people at school? Does he watch TV or movies? Is he around other friends or relatives? I ask because "shut up" is not a normal part of a growing child's vocabulary unless he's seen/heard it somewhere. I'd keep a close eye on everything he witnesses and take him out of environments that promote violence and foul language. And every time he does something wrong, punish consistently, but in addition to punish, explain to him why he is being punished and then have him repeat it back to you. Look him in the eyes and have him do the same. If he tries to look a way, keep a firm, yet gentle grip on his chin or head to make him look at you when you are disciplining him. Ask his teachers to do the same. It's good that you express your love for him, but don't mix that in with his discipline. It will only confuse the situation.
There is book by James Dobson. It is called "The Strong-Willed Child"
G.,
Maybe you could enroll him in martial arts. I work at Legends Martial Arts in Hurst and you would be amazed how well it can help discipline kids and assist them with character and respect. We have a Lil Legends class that is for 3 4 and 5 yr olds. If you would like some more information I would be glad to speak to you more about it.
J.
G., Your right he will be labeled, you might need to get some help from a behavior person to help everyone with this issue before it gets out of hand. Good luck
It sounds like your son needs some help to recognize his feelings. He will act out with his peers if the does not know how to handle his feelings the corret fashion.
He needs to learn how to handle frustration, sadness and lack of patience. If someone would help him recognize what he if feeling then direct him in the right way to handle the feeling it should get better. It is ok for him not to play sometimes with others but he needs to use words not his body.
Time outs are usually very productive, it is important that after the time the adult ask him why in time out then ask him what he could have done instead. You have to keep it up not just give in when he gets up the first time or three.
I worked with youth for 8 years in a behavior group setting. I had many three and four year olds who acted this way if you try teaching him about why he is feeling the way he is he can find better coping ways than hurting others.
Hope this helps some.
