okay moms, here is my delima...i know i have asked about potty training before, but this is entirely different. We have a special needs child. He has milod CP. He is 8 almost 9 years old next month. He is 95% potty trained. Here is the problem. Sometimes he gets so caught up in what he is doing he doesn't go to the bathroom when he needs to go. Just this morning he was watching tv in his room and instead of getting up and going to the bathroom he took off his underwear and did a number 2 on my tan carpet. What can i do here? put him back in diapers? i hate to do that he has come so far but this is really gross. I am pretty sure he knows what he is doing but i just dont know what to do anymore. moms please help me out here give me some ideas.....
for some that have already written, we have tried taking things away from him, no tv no toys.. sometimes i think it is that this is the only control he has in his life. he cant speak and he doesn't jsut get to go outside and pplay. we always go out with him. he is almost 9 going on a 4 to 5 year old mentality
M.,
I just took my kids about every hour or so. If they told me they did not have to go, I would ask them to just "try to go". I would say 8 out of 10 times they would go. After a few weeks or months then you can remind them every 2 to 3 hours.
I know its hard at times. Keep your head up!
God Bless,
Eliyah
My son is only three, but he does not respond at all to negative consequeces. If we take away a toy, etc. he doesn't do any better with going to the potty and will continue to have accidents. With him positive reinforcement has worked. He has a sticker chart and can earn a treat of some type if he does a good job of going potty so many times/days. We don't make him have a perfect score on the sticker chart but more like a 99%. He is motivated to do well with going potty to earn his treat. He is really sensitive and so I think it is a control thing with him. When he is stressed out or afraid that if he leaves his activity it will be over/gone when he is done with the potty he is more likely to have an accident. Hopefully some form of positive reinforcement would give your son both incentive and confidence that he can do it. Another idea we've used is to give a warning that it is almost time to go try to use the potty. Then we show him we are setting a timer for 5 minutes and when the timer goes off we are stopping what we are doing, pausing the tv, etc. and going to the potty. That gives him a chance to understand we are going soon and that whatever he is engaged in will still be available when he is done so he doesn't miss anything. Good luck and don't give up, he will be at 100% soon :)
I teach children with special needs, and although I can't say that I can even begin to imagine what it is like for you as a parent, I can say that I have seen this situation TONS of times at school (or on field trips ACK!) Anyway, there are two main things that I try to work on when potty training a child with special needs. First and formost is communication. Does your son use sign language, picture exchange, voice output devices, object symbols... How does he let you know what he needs/wants? If he doesnt have a way to let you know, or what he has isnt working. That is a something that probably needs to be addressed. If you are confused or overwhelmed by that question, feel free to email me or talk to your son's teacher. The other thing that I find helps tremendously is to set a schedule. Certain times of the day are "potty time" Think about when he usually naturally goes and build in "potty time" for that time every day. That way it becomes expected and it isnt such a fight. If he doesnt "go" one time, then just say "ok" but you will have to try again in 30 min (or whatever time you think is best). Set a timer so you dont forget. When it goes off just remind him it is time to go to the bathroom again. When he does go in the toilet make sure you praise him. It will probably be more work for a while doing it this way, but I have seen it pay off many times. Again please email me if you have more questions about my response. You can do it! I can tell you are a great mom!
L.
I'm told that this is a common problem among boys. THey prefer to play rather than to stay clean. I know my three year old deals with this problem. Here is what we did with him. It helps, but hasn't totally gotten rid of the problem.
Every time he has an accident I take away whatever he was playing with, watching, or doing that was more interesting than the potty. I'd take away his t.v. Remove it from his room, just to get the point across. Set a time frame for when he'll get it back. Then if he does it again, lengthen the "Toy timeout" penalty. Ours was one day with my son, but you may need longer with an older kid.
Good luck!
M.,
Just because your child has mild CP does not mean he should not learn consequences for his behavior when it is inappropriate and he knows what he is doing is wrong. In this situation, I would remove the tv from his room or not allow him to watch it for a day. Did he exhibit emotion or some reaction that let you know he knew what he did was wrong? Then a negative consequence is not a bad thing.
And in turn use positive reinforcement as well. When he does take the time to stop and go to the bathroom acknowledge that you saw what he did and encourage him that it was good.
Children need to know boundaries and consequences.
Hope this helps.
D.
